The Shrink

"Quiet your fears" my chakra therapist is working her wonders on me.

Huh? How do you quiet your fears when you are already in a fearful state? Anyway, 'Pooh…pooh..pooh!!..' I think I got my inhaling and exhaling breathing upside down again and it sounds like I am trying hard to push out my fears – an insane technique which insanely drove my chakra therapist into insanity when she first came to know how cuckoo I am.

I kept all my emotions tucked away inside me and I was told that my solar plexus is all jammed up and that made my aura, well, out of sort. If only I can save money like how I cleverly store my emotions – I am a millionaire today! Why wasn't I this smart then?

"Quiet your fears" I think she is talking to my fears. Not me.

So, on my first visit here, I was told that I carry this humongous baggage which was getting heavier by the day and I forgot to unload them as I go through life. I thought maybe the ballooning will whoosh! off one day when it gets punctured and that save me from the trouble of unloading. Then, I was also told that I am not-so-intelligent-after-all if I ever had such a childish idea (for someone in her forties – I know I'm blowing the horn a bit here and yes, I enjoy it!).

Sigh. I didn't sign-up for identifying all the issues in my life (she will not ignore and leave an issue untouched or uncovered). I call her the-problem-digger and she is good at it. Pretty as well. Damn. Neither did I come here to be told that I have an IQ of a child – I just have an untamed imagination and it serves me well whenever I feel bored. I came here hoping for a miracle and at my age, the miracle better matches the number. Instead, I found out that miracles do happen and usually, they come from within. My first reaction was 'Oh, what happened to God? – the CEO of Miracles Ptd Ltd'.

I guess the jamming up must have tangled up with the miracles inside me.

"Do you know why you are insecure?" uh-oh, there goes my chakra therapist. I thought it's her job to tell me and not ask me.

"I think so" no one likes admitting to their insecurities, fears or fantasies. I pay for my healing sessions so I have a right to set my boundaries.

"Tell me your insecurities" damn, my chakra therapist is persuasive and really serious in her job.

I don't have that many – insecurities sounds a lot like a bin full of trash waiting to be recycled.

"Err….my mom's plants" one off from my mind and first in the list of my many insecurities (Shit! The rest are waiting in line now to be introduced and has agreed to 'You jump! I jump!' idea).

I think my chakra therapist begins to enjoy healing this cuckoo patient of hers because she gets plenty of surprises coming from me. In return, she surprises me with her earth shattering laughter.

"Why would you feel insecure about your mom's....p-l-a-n-t-s?"' she eyes me suspiciously.

"It's because they can't talk back like me" how easy and I never thought it can be that easy sharing with a stranger.

My mom adores her plants. My mom loves her flowers and plants. My mom talks to her plants. My mom bathes her plants. My mom admires her flowers and plants. My mom sweet talks her flowers and plants. My mom pays more attention to her flowers and plants than to me! Quick! Inhale, exhale, 'Pooh…pooh..pooh!!..', exhale, inhale, inhale, inhale, 'Pooh…pooh..pooh!!..' inhale – how do you exhale again!?

"I think Rose and Sunny are not up and about today. I wonder what's wrong with them" sigh, her unnecessary worries about her flowers and plants.

"Mom – what do you expect them to do? Moan?"' if her flowers and plants can moan, trust me, they will sing their hearts out to being porn stars.

Phew! My jealousy finally has a breathing space and has had enough of mom's affections towards her flowers and plants. I suffocate my jealousy in silence, denying its rights and existence. I bet my therapist will tell me next that my heart chakra is muddy with the jealousy and needs to get it thoroughly cleanse. My throat chakra also may be problematic for being too vocal. Why do I have this feeling that she may later advise me to bathe in a tubful of Clorox to cleanse my chakras? That must be my higher self (the crown chakra) transmitting of such a possibility. Thank GOD my crown chakra is in working condition – definitely no blockage.

"Venus, they are just flowers and plants" He he. Dearest therapist, please tell me something that I don't know.

"Exactly! That's my point" I look at my chakra therapist with wide eyes telling her that she finally understood where I was coming from and I pulled my kitten look hoping to get some sympathy from her for my troubles.

"Venus – do you know that your jealousy is unfounded?" – Ok. I want a refund.

Eugene thinks that it is important for us to heal ourselves because we are way too distracted to pay attention to the well being of our mind, body and soul. It's like I need to un-cuckoo the cuckoo me. It was his suggestion that I sign-up for some healing sessions before I start attracting the right things and people into my life.

"Venus, you are all over the place – how are you going to practice the law of attraction?" Eugene was acting smart.

"Well, I can do the de-cluttering later" I know I not so smart.

"What about the One?" I hate it when Eugene uses my One to get me moving.

"I can find him first before the de-cluttering"' Hah! I began to sound smart now.

"How are you going to identify him if you don't focus? Since he is already in your life" Shit. Eugene beats me this round.

Tiff was right. Eugene is saying the exact stuff that she did. How did I lose my focus? No wonder my intuition refuses to cooperate. Well, I do hope this healing session is going to help me reclaim my focus and not make me become cuckoo-ier.

"Venus, you are not truly focusing on your issue" my therapist affirms what I have already been told by two of my closest friends (boy, they'll do pretty well as healer too).

"Really?" I thought 'jealousy' is an issue. Everyone's nightmare when it's on high dosage. At least mine is.

"Yes. I think you don't quite know what you want" her words let off a ding ding to Bingo!

What? I've been in denial? What is her problem?

"I believe subconsciously you know what you want" that must be my therapist's subconscious' voice.

My subconscious says - let the pants chase.

"Consciously you don't know what you want" her conscious turn now.

My conscious says - let's chase some pants!

Shit! I'm in a mess!