Sixty-Nine

"Venus, an old friend of mine from overseas is back here for a holiday" Tiff beams happily.

Oh. She travelled back for an old friend? What about me?

"I've not seen him for donkey years" Tiff's beam gets broader.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!.... O-U-C-H!!

I hope she says no more. I feel sick because the hurt bites.

"I want to introduce him to you – so, this is my mission Venus!" Tiff lets out a lungful of giggles.

Oh. Oh!? Oh!..... OH!!

Did she just say 'him'?

It was right. My low-batt intuition is after all still in working condition. As soon as Tiff said the word 'mission' – my intuition, in its weak voice, went on a loudspeaker drummed in and possessed the whole of me with 'Y-O-U' – period.

Tonight – she is carrying out her special mission. I will soon be introduced to someone whom she hasn't seen in donkey years and I sure hope he doesn't ride on one. Tiff refused to reveal anything about him. Not even an alphabet of his name. The refusal has painted him mysterious and secretive. I wonder if she does the same to him. Torture him to insanity with curiosity and want. Tiff – the play-hard-to-get agent on our behalf and I've never felt more alive.

Ok. Now what should I wear for a blind date? I don't want to appear to have overdone it or not doing enough. Damn. I must impress.

"Show some cleavage!" Eugene who dislikes boobs is talking about showing off cleavage(?)

"Yes but not too much Venus. You don't want to look cheap" Fish and her once-in-a-while-normal-self-days and gratefully, on an important day for me like this one.

"Wear something sweet and feminine" my sweet Tiff.

Groan. Femininity has no place in my life. I was never meant to be a product of femininity. GOD has made that clear when I began to exert the masculine side of me far better than the feminine part of me. But I still love men.

I've decided to wear a dress which hugged my petite body for dear life, perfectly and it hung nicely just above my knees. No cleavage teasing. No cheap looks. Nothing sweet and feminine (GROAN). I will just go with my usual – sexy.

I'm not just going to impress. I'm out for the kill!

No name. No photo. No contact numbers. It feels like meeting Mr Nobody. Tiff set the whole thing up by only giving specific time, venue and table for me to meet this Mr Nobody of hers. So, we are to surprise each other. I wonder which one of us is going to get to the restaurant first. Hah! I bet it's going to be me.

As I step in into the restaurant, I'm instantly taken by the ambience. It definitely has the right setting for a blind date (I know I can trust Tiff on this). Just the correct amount of light with soft music playing in the background and that helped to soothe away the nervousness I felt earlier. Butterflies were crowding my solar plexus giving me wet palms. I had to casually grip the side of my dress to dry them. Damn.

A waitress appears out of nowhere and asks if I have a reservation. The reservation was made under 'Tiffany' (my BFF of course). The waitress checks the reservation sheets and finally stops her finger at some table number (doctor's handwriting so I couldn't make out what table number was reserved). She looks up, smiles and asks me to follow her. I obediently follow from behind and she leads me to a booth.

I lost.

Mr Nobody got there first. A losing game that I'll happily accept because my blind date is punctual (excuse me, I'm not late – I'm actually on the dot). He he. He gets a tick for punctuality. Mr Nobody looked up from the menu when the waitress and I got near the booth. He quickly stood up and smiled. I thanked the waitress and she put down a menu for me. When the waitress left us alone, Mr Nobody and I locked eyes. Wow. Electric-flying (Electrifying).

"Hi! Are you Tiffany's BFF?" so, Mr Nobody knows nothing about me as much as I not about him.

I nod and smile in acknowledgment.

"Great! I'm Mars. Nice meeting you" Mr Nobody extends his hand to me for a handshake.

Tiff got to be kidding me – Mars??

"Hi! I'm Venus" I shake his firm hand hard. I'm very real, ok?

We both look at each other with the same shock on our faces and finally, we broke into a huge laughter. HA HA HA.

So, it's Mars meet Venus.

The number associated with the planet Venus is '6'. I've just met my upside down number which is '9'. The number associated with Mars is '9'. So, I'm his upside down number. We are the '69'. In numerology, when you add the two numbers together : 6 + 9 = 15 – 1+ 5 = 6 (the number of LOVE). Astrologically, when the two planets, Mars and Venus meet – love happens!

This must be it!? Is he The One?

When our laughter subsided, we lock eyes one more time, for a brief few good seconds before we pull away from each other to concentrate on the menu. Really electric-flying (electrifying) – from now on, I'm introducing this super charging word to my vocabulary.

(BbBzZzZZZzzZzZz....bBzZbbZZzzzz...bZzbzzzZZz)

I eye longing at the item 'Grilled Chicken' and salivate. My figure hugging dress disapproves. Sigh. I finally settled with 'Caesar Salad' as appetiser, starters and main course. How boring! Damn. It shortened and stopped my salivating. As soon as I ordered 'Caesar Salad', my low-batt intuition kicked me under the table. Huh? Why? (Please don't tell me food poisoning – not on my blind date. But then again, if it is, maybe that could be a sign that we are not meant to be. You know what I mean? So, 'Caesar Salad' it shall be!).

I now have a chance to take a good look at Mr Mars. I notice that he is not as handsome as Eugene. I couldn't put my finger to what it is that is attractive about Mr Mars but there is something good looking about him. He is... just so big and tall. Maybe it could be the tiny mole at the corner of his left lips (Pssst! I managed to zoom right there when he was going through the menu). Whatever it could be, some guys just have it in them – that attractive aura. Hmmmm.... yummy.

"I'll have the 'Grilled Chicken' please. Thank you" Mr Mars orders my favourite.

Hey! He ordered my 'Grilled Chicken'! Maybe we can share our food (I hope Tiff didn't bribe the waitress for watching over us because I'm pretty sure if this gets back to Tiff, Eugene and Fish – they'll stamp my shameless boldness to lifetime warranty). I guess this is where I fail miserably as Eugene puts it. I was told that I must at least be a bit reserved and act ladylike and not charge like a mad bull with my likes and wants especially on a date. I must create good impression and ladylike manner always win the guy's heart. GROAN. Stupid art-of-seduction.

No. Wait a minute. I remember Eugene's lessons on the-art-of-seduction. Mars is the hunter and Venus is to be hunted down. "Venus, in the game of love, you have to play hide-and-seek with Mars in order to be the winner". What? Are we supposed to play hide-and-seek in the restaurant? I wonder if he knows the rule of the game (well) since coincidentally he is Mars and I'm Venus.

"Are you hungry?" my Mars man is concern and I like it.

"No" fluttering my fake eyelashes (and I damn hope this works – if not, I'll break Eugene's neck), I reply shyly (Urggh! Venus shy?).

gGGgROWwwlLllLLL...Lllllll!

Betrayer! Damn. My stomach betrayed me. GOD, this is so embarrassing. He is going to think that I'm untruthful.

"You are hungry Venus. What time do you usually have dinner?" my Mars man is so concern and I super like it.

"Six" I just can't take my eyes off Mars man now. I've been hypnotised.

"So early?" my Mars man is surprised.

"Yes" I want to touch that tiny mole. Please...

"Why?" he still hasn't rubbed off that surprise look.

"Because I'm Chinese" will he still look as attractive without that tiny mole – my mind wonders and imagines.

"I'm Chinese too but I don't eat that early" humph! my Mars man cut-off the hypnotising session and that's a turn-off.

"That's you, Mr Martian and I'm not you" uh-oh, I'm pissed for being cut-off.

"Oooh, you are fierce" Mr Martian teases his Venus woman.

"And you are straightforward" Ms Venus not giving in easily, teases back.

I can sense the chemistry is building and heating up – either the right or wrong way.

"Haha! You are cute and brave, Venus. Not afraid of meeting someone you don't know" Mr Martian is checking out my boundaries.

"Afraid of what? That you have teeth?" better not stir Ms Venus's boldness to greater heights.

"I like your sense of humour! Hehe" Mr Martian is now drawn to Ms Venus. There is no turning back for him.

He likes me AND my sense of humour. OR just my sense of humour. Tell, which one? Better make it clear for I like things to be black or white though white is my favourite colour, it pays to be clear. Yup, that's the right attitude to lead our lives. If not, how else?

The same waitress comes back with our food and drinks. She hasn't erased the same smile she had when she left us with our orders to the kitchen earlier. Nice default smile. I look at my 'Caesar Salad' pathetically when it was placed right in front of me. I should have asked for grilled chicken add-ons. Well, I can always steal some from my Martian man. I'm sure he doesn't mind since he likes me AND my sense of humour. Should I invite myself to some helpings of his 'Grilled Chicken' (since the chemistry has set the tone for us now) or ask politely and gently (of course, anything can snap off an existing sparkling chemistry, something which I do not want to risk)?

"BEHAVE!" – to my horror, I saw Eugene's face came popping out from the poach egg which sits handsomely on my plate of greens sprinkled with parmesan cheese and some black pepper called 'Caesar Salad'. Geez. I'm having too much of Eugene in my life. Shit! Dear Universe, I wasn't complaining. I just merely state the truth. Please don't take Eugene away from me. I adore him. Thank you. Good. The last one will do the trick – the reversal will put things back to as before. Thank GOD I'm smart.

"Let's eat" my Martian starts attacking his 'Grilled Chicken' as he invited us to begin eating.

"Ok. What do you do Mars?" I begin forking my leafy greens.

"I'm in sales and travel extensively" my Martian reply in between bites.

"Tiff mentioned about you back here for a holiday. Where are you based?" I'm as curious as the cat as I chomped the greens in my mouth.

"Vietnam" Martian replies and concentrates hard on his 'Grilled Chicken' as if the query came from the chicken and not me.

"Oh, Vietnam, I heard the girls there are very pretty" I help myself to another mouthful of my 'Caesar Salad' which gets saltier at each bite.

"Not all of them" Mr Martian smiles at his own answer and me. It makes me wonder if in any way indirectly he is sharing a private joke which only he understood and privy to.

"Are you in a relationship, Mars?" must be the cheese. I'm inching in my boldness way too soon.

"I broke-up with my girlfriend 6 months ago" must be the brown sauce for the 'Grilled Chicken'. Mr Martian no pulling handbrakes when it comes to his personal life.

He gets another tick and that's for honesty.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that" I'm really not (He he). Sorry.

"You know, I've been in a few relationships and all of my girlfriends are not pretty" Mr Martian must have either liked plain Vanilla very much or the other flavours never liked him. Never mind and fear not because I'm NO Vanilla (you should thank your lucky star, Martian). Neither am I the other flavours.

I'm all and the every other toppings which everyone desires!

I was ready with a smile when I look up from my food to Martian – Mr Martian stares at my smile and blinks. Yes! I got him hooked to my smile.

"I need to go to the restroom and will be back shortly" Mr Martian smiles back and excuses himself.

The minute he lifted his bums from his seat to head to the loo, I quickly pull out my cosmetic pouch from my handbag, unzip it in lightning seconds and check myself into my compact mirror. Are my fake eyelashes in place? Do I need to gloss my lips for pouty effect? Did I smudge my eyeliner? Anything!!

AaArggGgggggggggggHhHhHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A small piece of chomped up lettuce is sticking on my front tooth like a post-it reminder! I just gave him my broadest smile! Shit!! How ugly I must have looked when I smiled. No wonder he blinked – he must be disgusted. No wonder my low-batt intuition kicked me under the table just now. It wasn't for food poisoning. Why didn't you kick harder?

Ok. Relax Venus. No big deal. Just lick off the lettuce and swallow it for embarrassing you. I drink the whole glass of warm water to wash it down and whatever that's sticking inside my mouth. Yeah! Alright, as I check and recheck myself into my compact mirror – I can finally breathe normally as there is no more post-it lettuce reminder in sight.

As Mr Martian walks out from the loo, I try smoothing the embarrassment I felt with myself. I'm damn sure Eugene, Fish and Tiff will laugh their heads off when I relate this to them. I'm supposed to share every single moment of this evening and not miss out anything for them to evaluate the whole scenario to determine the potentiality. They said they must cover every angle so as not to give me false hope or miss the opportunity (if there is ever something nice brewing from the meeting).

Mr Martian comes back looking relieve (must be a tank full) and plops down comfortably on his seat.

"What about you Venus?" Mr Martian asks and at the same time picks up his fork and knife to continue attacking his 'Grilled Chicken'.

Me? What? My turn to go empty my tank?

Before I could answer him, the waitress interrupts us with a jug of warm water to refill our glasses. She disappears as fast as she appears every now and then to check on us (or me).

"What about, Mars?" I'm still dazed and confused as I haven't recovered from the embarrassment. I only pray that he doesn't etch it in his memory forever. If he does, then he would remember me as the girl with a post-it lettuce reminder on her front tooth and nothing else. Arrgghh! It's so not sexy. But then again, such an ugly memory will give him the nightmare to remember me better and that's cool. He he.

"Are you in a relationship?" Mr Martian suddenly looks at me intently searching my eyes for insight.

Duh. Obviously not. Why would I be here if I'm already in a relationship with someone?

"No, Mars" me reply and shake my head to a double dose of 'No'.

"Now, that's hard to believe" Martian shakes his head in disbelief.

Are you calling Tiff a bluff?

"Why? Do I look every bit taken?" I give a small laugh to his remark. He now has my fullest attention as I push aside my empty plate, rest both my elbows on the table crossing my hands and move my whole body forward with full interest.

"Yes. You are funny and sweet" he means it when he said 'Yes' by looking straight into my eyes but immediately looks away to his almost done 'Grilled Chicken'. So, it's the 'Grilled Chicken' that's funny-and-sweet, and not me, is it?

Me sweet? Bleh!

"Well, thank you Mars. Unfortunately, no one wants me" I wish I could dramatise it with a sob.

"Maybe you have high expectations" it seems Martian hasn't finished testing my boundaries.

"I think you guys have higher expectations" Ms Venus is not easily beaten.

Martian is testing and raising both our ego bars to some degree.

"I'm a simple guy with simple expectations" Martian comes to his own defence so easily.

"Yeah? What happened to all of your Vanilla ex-girlfriends? Or they are just plain Vanilla on the outside but characteristically flavoured?" Shit. That's the problem with me when I'm challenged.

A dangerous liaison when Mars meets Venus.

"What? Vanilla?" Mr Martian looks confused but amused at the same time.

"All your girlfriends are not pretty, right? – so, you like plain Vanilla then. If you have simple expectations, as you said, why break-up with ALL of them?" uh-oh, I think I've gone too far now.

"Hahahaha! Venus – Vanilla??" Mr Martian shakes his head, laughs hard and bangs the table a few times with a semi-loud thud. We sure do not have any problem getting attention when we are together because suddenly all the other patrons dining in the restaurant turned to look at us with curiosity pasted on their faces.

Now, I'm not only funny – I'm hilarious. Do I get a tick for this at his end?

"Go on, tell" I'm demanding when I see fit. You either hate me or love me. Even if you hate me now, you'll love me later (be rest assured).

"Ok. I guess maybe all my other 'Va-nil-la' girlfriends were just not meant to be. It was more of a case of bad timing than expectations" Mr Martian shrugs his shoulders as he explains.

"Why?" I want to know more and the best time is now since I've set the motion going.

"My job" all of a sudden Mr Martian quiets the fiery air which was really raging in fine tune.

"You don't have a choice?" I can't help but feel that something is not quite right with Mr Martian.

Mr Martian didn't reply me and instead, stares into space drifting into deep thoughts. Maybe he was never challenged by anyone or prepared for such grilling. I may have probably probe too much, too far and too deep for his liking yet the direction of our conversation tells me that I'm on the right track even if this is going to be our first and last date (No!!).

I better lighten the mood.

"Hey, you got bullying muscles!" I tease and let's hope this works.

"You were checking out my muscles?" Mr Martian lit up, smiles and shows off his bullying muscles by giving them a playful pinch (Urgh! Guys and their mousy muscles). I'm glad I managed to pull us out from the sombre mood.

"Well, they are on display!" I begin to like me AND my sense of humour.

I bet he is giving me a tick for ego stroking.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" I know Mr Martian is slowly falling in love with me.

The waitress chooses to come back with 2 menus for dessert at the right time. Just what exactly is Martian's problem as I absently flip through the menu. He seems to be struggling with something which he cannot overcome. Maybe he should see my colour therapist and let her earth shattering laughter shatters his difficulty(ies) to pieces or ashes into beyond recognition state. That would give him some healing and peace.

"Do you like ice-cream?" Mr Martian asks the right stuff. We definitely have emotional connection.

"Yes, my favourite!" I smile happily like a five year old. Wow. We are on the same page.

"Vanilla?" Mr Martian teases cheekily.

"Oi! I'm no plain Jane, ok?" I roll my eyes at Mr Martian and we laugh.

Indeed, we give each other a tick for the chemistry.