Season 2 - Page Twenty Three

Season Finale Part 4

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"N-no..."

I whispered as I push Peach with all my might. I immediately averted my gaze seeing how defenseless she looks right now, with her brightly flushed cheeks, to her slightly opened mouth and to her chest that is going up and down rapidly, she looks so sexy right now that I feel like I'm losing my mind.

But no, I have to clear my mind. I have to be direct and tell her what I really think of right now.

What would I tell her? How could I tell her? Will everything be alright if I just say the word?

At this point, it's too late to fix everything and the right thing to do is to let her go.

Can I really do that?

I mustered all the courage I have and look straight into her eyes. She looks calmer than she is a moment ago.

"Peach-"

"What is it, Siren? What is it that is stopping you from admitting that you like me?" Her voice sounded more desperate than before.

"Why do you have to use other people just so you can avoid me? Tell me, j-just... Explain everything to me." She slowly sat at the side of the empty bed, both her hands on her knees with her head hung low. I can hear her whisper things like how frustrating this is, or how pathetic she feels but I can't seem to find the right word to say.

I know I have to apologize. Apologize for a lot of things. And then, what? Will it be over like that?

"You're such a coward, Siren."

Hearing that word felt like a thousand knives stabbed into my chest.

"I..."

"Come on, say something." She looked up at me and smiled bitterly. "Where did that fiery mouth go? You usually insulted me by now, but how come you're so quiet?"

"I... I don't like this, Peach." Finally having the courage to speak and this is the word I will say. So lame, Siren.

Peach let out a shallow laugh and looked away. "And you think I do? I did everything on my end just so you would look my way. I endured all the painful words you say to me, but you know what I can't take?" She paused for a moment.

"Yujin. Why does she have to show up and experience all the things I wanted to experience with you?" She looked at me again, this time, her eyes full of accusations and pain directed at me. "Why do you smile at her yet frown at me? Why do you hold her hands and let go of mine?" She trailed off as if finding it hard to speak.

"Why her?"

The last word was a whisper but still enough for me to hear. I can only stare as I saw a tear falling from her eyes. I can't say anything, I just stared at her.

"Tell me, Siren. What more do I have to do just so you would look at me... the way I look at you?"

"I'm sorry..."

She stands up and approaches me. "That's not what I want to hear, Siren." I tried to back away but she grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to her. "You like me, right? Why won't you say it?" She sounded so desperate that it hurts me even more but I could only shake my head.

I want to let her go.

I want her to let go of me.

"Y-you deserve someone... Not... Please, not me..."

"But you like me!" She shouted. "What's stopping you from admitting it to yourself, huh?" She lets go of my arm and started poking at my shoulder.

"What more do I have to do for you to be honest with yourself, huh?!"

"Do you really think my honesty will solve everything?" I shouted back. "I've hurt you... I've hurt Yujin... Fuck, I even hurt my best friend! Do you think my honesty could solve everything?" I grabbed her shoulders.

"I wanted to be honest, Peach. I wanted to be with you... But Can I really do that? After all that's happened, do you really think I deserve to be with you?"

"Siren..."

"I can't do this, Peach. I don't want to hurt you any more than this..."

"Siren..."

Peach continued whispering my name, her voice so close to my ear that I can hear the desperation.

I like Peach. But do I deserve it? After what I've done with her and Yujin, Do I deserve to be happy? Can I be really at ease knowing the pain I've caused the two of them?

If anything, I should be alone. I don't deserve anyone. I don't deserve them. I have to make these things right if I wanted to be truly happy.

That's the right thing to do... right?

"Please... Let me go."

Words won't come out of my mouth but I have to say something. I'm sorry I have to hurt you even more than this, Peach.

"You don't deserve this..." I continued as I wipe the tears from her face. "We'll only hurt each other if this goes on and I don't want that to happen."

"But you like me... I don't want to give up on you, Siren." She started crying again. I sighed.

"Please..."

"I'm sorry, Peach. I'm so sorry..."

Peach didn't react for a solid minute until she slowly looked up at me, her eyes tear-stricken.

"Is that what you've decided?" I nodded.

To my surprise, Peach let out a smile.

"Okay." I flinched when she suddenly reached for a hug. "Let me do this, for the last time." She said and hugged me tighter.

The last time. It's not like we ever started.