t h i r t y - t w o : thin ice

"Yeah, I don't think I can go," I nervously chuckle. "My mom has already put me on thin ice--very thin ice."

He looks flatly.

"Oh, you don't know," I slap my forehead. "She followed me here the first time I came yesterday."

"Woah. Creepy. So she knows where I live."

I nod, "I'm sorry. I think she got worried and thought she had to use Find My iPhone. It's whatever..."

"She doesn't actually know anything," I reassure him. "But, one thing she does know is that I hate the outdoors," I smile.

He rolls his eyes, "There's nothing to be afraid of. We won't be alone."

Oh, so like a public cabin type thing?

I let out a sigh of sweet relief.

"It'll be us and some bears," he laughs.

"Not funny, Shawn! I'm actually afraid of bugs, worms, bears, whatever the hell we might encounter out there."

He walks up to me, putting his hand in mine, "Tough luck, you're going."

This guy is so stubborn.

"We could literally do anything else, like go to the mall."

He swings our hands, "But camping is fun, and I've only done it alone. I want to share this enriching experience with you," he says softly. Not going to work on me, not going to...

"Fine, I'll ask my mom," I sigh.

"Damn, you're easy."

"What?!" I exclaim.

"I didn't even have to put on my best performance," he smiles smugly.

Note to self: don't give in easily. Truthfully, even though I hate bugs, I'm excited because he'll be there.

"So..." he goes to the fridge, grabbing two bottles of cranberry juice (my favorite), "report back. What happened?"

"Uh, well..."

He raises his eyebrows and stops drinking. "How bad is it?"

"Ehh..."

"Kara..."

"My mom works in the media department, and it turns out they monitor social media posts for... propaganda basically. And the posters of anything that raises a red flag..."

"Disappear."

"Right," I look down. "All the more reason for us to stop this madness together."

He nods. I take a swig of my juice, "Would you ever want to meet your mom?"

Maybe too deep of a topic? But, we are talking about controversy and the government's many schemes.

He taps the bottle on the counter, "I don't know. Would you want to meet someone who left you at birth?"

"Maybe she had a reason." That was my mistake...

"A reason? Really, Kara? You genuinely sound like one of them."

He's really pissed off. I know the topic of his parents is not the best, but what if she had a good reason? Wow, I really do sound like one of them. He makes them sound like a curse. He's scarred. A person shouldn't have to go through life wondering about their worth.

"I'm sorry. I know there's two perspectives."

"There's just one outlook to this, Kara: she's in the wrong. She left me."

"Yeah, I know. No one should leave their child like that. I was just trying to see the other side, but you're right. Morally, there's only one way to see it."

I envelope him in a hug. Even though he doesn't want it, I make him hug me back.

"I hate hugs."

I roll my eyes, "Shh."

"So, what were you doing before I barged in?"

"Do you really want to know?"

I weigh the possibilities, "Yeah," I shrug.

"Digging up some tents for our camping trip," he smiles.

"You didn't even know if I would say yes," I cross my arms. This guy thinks things will come easy with me... I need to adjust his expectations.

"You know, I actually change my mind. I'll be busy that day," I say.

His face falls, "You don't even know what day I planned it for."

Right...

"I'm kidding. Tents? Won't we just need one?"

He scratches his head, "I wasn't sure if you'd want a separate one. I guess I can put it back."

"How about tomorrow?"

"That's short notice, but this is a time-sensitive topic. Who the hell knows when those time travelers will come back for their device?"

"Right. What are the chances that they'll come here?"

"Fuck."

"What?" he asks.

I palm my forehead, "What if they installed a tracking device in the thing. They wouldn't be stupid enough to have something this valuable without some type of insurance policy."

"You're right. Fuck," he exclaims.

"Wait. Where is it?"

"Upstairs in my room."

"Oh," I pat his arm, "they'll never find it there."

"Are you trying to call my room messy?" he chuckles.

"Yes. And you."

"Oh, please, you like it."

"You, but not the mess."

"I will have you know that I cleaned earlier."

"Sure," I roll my eyes.

"Come see."

I "saw", then we ended up making out on the bed--again.

"You taste like a coffee shop."

"Yeah, my mom's been shoving caffeine down my throat. If she's high on it, everyone around her has to be," I giggle.

"Your relationship with her seems so wholesome. Even down to the tracking device on your phone," he laughs.

"Yeah, she's pretty cool. I mean, when she's not working."

"Welp, my mom sits on the couch and collects unemployment."

I look down. "Sorry. I didn't mean to depress the mood. You definitely don't need to feel sorry for me," he says.

"There's one thing I've kinda been mulling over, though."

"Hmm?" I ask.

"Are you actually into me? I know we started our friendship with a rocky... not really friendly start, to say the least. I couldn't help but think you and Tiana would be using me in some way..."

"Using? Us? You think that I'd stoop that low?" I step back.

"I mean you never showed any indication that you liked me. Then randomly, at her party, you decide to kiss me and leave it unadressed. I'm kind of confused still. This shit sounds sus as hell. And there's the thing with my journal. It's suspicious how she got it. Not to mention the fact that she also wants to date me? It's all so crazy, I feel like it can't be a coincidence."

He's serious. He's actually serious. Why the hell would I "partner" up with that crazy bitch?

"You are talking crazy. That bitch has stabbed me in the back every chance she got, even turning my other friends on me. You're the only person I can trust. Do you really think I'd do that?!"

Before I realize it, I'm shouting. Everything that's happened in the last couple days is just now hitting me. I have no one. Not even my family because they're brainwashed. He's the only person I could confide in. Maybe that's why I ended up kissing him yesterday. I felt like I had no one else.

I take a deep breath. "This was a mistake."

He looks up confused. "What?"

"We should just keep our relationship friendly. You're right. We weren't that close before. And after this summer, we'll go fully back to normal. I think we should keep up the camping trip, though. Isolation would be beneficial to our plan. I gotta go."

I glance down to see his balled fists and the anger forming on his face. "If that's what you have to do. Come by tomorrow evening for some platonic camping," he displays a small smile. It doesn't reach his eyes, though. He's hurt, again.

I leave feeling some sense of relief. I've prevented further heartbreak. I read the terms and conditions on this one.

Shawn's POV:

I fucked it up. No, she fucked it up. I don't know anymore.

I shouldn't have accused her of that. After hearing what her so-called friend did to her, I should have been more sensitive. I should have trusted her. I do trust her, but that small fucking voice in my head needed the question answered.

Now I know that she either is playing with me and lying about it, or she's telling the truth. Fuck, here I go again. Of course she's telling the truth, but it's hard to console that small voice because it--I have trust issues.

I should have just told her that...

I'm overanalyzing. There's no reason for me to be thinking this long about it--about her.

She's made up her mind, so I need to follow suit. I'm not begging for her.

Kara's POV:

I finally park in front of the house. The lights are on and there's another truck parked by my parents' cars. Hmm...

"Welcome, you've finally come home," mom exclaims.

Then a slow clap commences, "The party's arrived."

Disbelief is plastered on my face. I don't think I've done a good job at concealing it, either.

"Andrew?" I ask, disbelief lacing my words. I'm doing a horrible job at making it seem like we were not involved in anti-Reversal controversy, where one of us got detained by the police...

"Wh-What are you doing here?"

"We're just having a little dinner party," his dad chuckles.

He's a pretty stern person. Andrew jumps as his dad pats his shoulder playfully. He works alongside my mom and their other friends.

He keeps Andrew in line. I suspect that his reaction to Andrew's detainment wasn't exactly passive, not in the least.

"Hey, Kar."

His voice cracks a little. I want to know what happened so badly...

I need to get him to talk privately.

"Can you help me get something out of my car?"

He nods.

Once we cross the threshold, I slam the door, and drag him to the car. Sure, I might have looked like a crazy person. Hell, I am a crazy person, but this is impportant.

"What the hell happened?"

He looks up to my house and back down to me. "They figured us out, sent us to one of those education camps. How did you and Shawn get out?"

"We just ran down to the basement and used the emergency exit."

He lets out a breath, "Thank God you two made it out alright. I was worried sick. My dad was able to get me out, along with some other friends, but he refused to represent many others."

"So they're still there?"

He nods solemnly. "Dad almost left me out there, too. He's so fucking disappointed. You'd think that with all I do to impress him on the daily, he'd lend me some mercy."

I sigh, "He's being hard on you."

"Hell yeah. I've never seen him this furious."

"You didn't men--"

"Of course not. I wouldn't out you or anyone. Secret's safe with me," he smiles.

"I'm so sorry that you got the brunt of all this."

"It's cool. I'm just sad that we won't be able to make any real change."

"Well," I consider telling him our plan, "at least you're here today. That's all that matters."

It's best to keep our plan (pending) under wraps until it actually happens.

We enter the house again, empty handed. I forgot that I actually didn't have anything for him to helo me with.

"Where's the stuff?" his father booms. He's definitely suspicious of us. He's always been intimidating, in a weird way. He'd be a good interrogator. It's a good thing Andrew's used to his demeanor. He can't be cracked.

"Oh, I forgot that I unloaded my trunk earlier. You know me, always clumsy and forgetful," I chuckle.

"Boy, do we know it," dad chuckles. Everyone else laughs--except Andrew's dad.

"What do we have here?" I point at the table.

"Peppered steaks, asparagus, and mashed potatoes," mom says.

"Mmm, I'm gonna wash up and change. Be right back."

Just to humor myself, I check my phone for text messages.

God, there's a lot. Probably because I put most of my fake friends on Do Not Disturb.

A couple from Jack, begging for forgiveness. Some from Lisa and Kaylynn... trying to reason with me about what they did. I don't want to fucking hear it.

Tiana had the nerve to text, smugly bragging about her date with Shawn. Stupid bitch doesn't know he already knows about the book. Apparently he called her earlier today... keeping his word.

Shawn's POV:

I'm dreading this fucking date. At least it's at the movies. One and done. I don't ever need to talk to her again. Plus, it's not like she can hurt Kara with her "leverage." I can't believe her own friends would... she doesn't deserve that.

Then there's a banging at the door.

Who the hell could that be?

I open the door to three men in labcoats.

"We believe you have something of ours."