Hope

She wasn't always bad. I think hope is what made everything worse. Hoping for her to change and be a better mother. It was a curse being able to remember the good person she used to be and to seeing how bad she was now. Before she had Derek, she was the perfect mom. She always had a smile and laughed. God how I miss her laugh especially when her and my dad would laugh to the point they couldn't breath. One of my favorite memories was when we use to cook breakfast together, even though it was always the same meal. She would let me stir the pancakes and never got mad at me for having most of the ingredients on the floor. Dad always handled cooking the bacon. He would wrap his arms around my mother. Now I just wish he never would've let her go. We were such a happy family. My parents never argued in front of me. They always believed in talking everything through behind closed doors. But her lust for change just wrecked everything around us. How could she be so selfish? She had the most devoted husband and she had children who needed her. Derek was such a blessing to my father. My mom was told she had a slim to none chance to conceive again. Due to complications with her pregnancy with me, they stated she wouldn't be able to carry a second pregnancy to full term. She was devastated that day. All she did was cry and pray. Then 2 years later, she found out she was pregnant. I was almost ten when she finally told everyone about my brother. My father was so excited to have a son. All he talked about was playing baseball with him and being his coach. I wasn't much of a sports person, I loved music and dancing. I believed he deserved to have someone who would play catch with him and actually be good at it. But he still use to dance with me for as long as I wanted.