Chapter 19 – Jealousy, Jealousy

After the pre-production, including the script reading and location scouting, we finally began the shoot for the web drama.

On the first day, everyone was excited. My Days flocked the shooting location which added to the lively air on set. But once the camera started rolling, everyone became serious.

Because the genre and mood were lighter than my previous projects, I really enjoyed the shoot. We were joking around during breaks and I even gave the guys quick acting lessons. Like I told JYP before, it was like my vacation.

"You have to walk confidently," I told them when we were shooting the first scene where they had to walk on the hallway while girls were following them.

Yep, it was your typical high school drama with an elite, famous boy band and an ordinary brave girl.

"Dowoon, don't crouch. Chin up."

"Jae, you're the best friend material. Act playful, but stay cool."

"Wonpil…Wonpil, for goodness' sake stop being cute for a while."

"Sungjin, yes. Maintain that tiger look."

"Brian, stop grinning! Go, be your scary self."

That was how I ran a kindergarten school, everyone. But there was no burned script or flying chairs, at least.

After the shoot, I congratulated them for their job well done.

"Ya, Jjang PD-nim, you're scary," Sungjin commented which the other four agreed to.

"Me? That was my calmest mode on set." For real.

But they would not believe me.

"Really?" Jae stared at me in disbelief. "Then we don't want to see you in your turbulent mode."

"She…uhm," Wonpil joined the conversation. "Her eyes…like…" Then he tried to imitate me.

We laughed at his reenactment.

"PD-nim, someone's looking for you." One of the staff called me, so I had to excuse myself from them.

"Who is it?" But I did not need to wait for an answer because I already saw who it was.

It was Martin Cerulean, who was grinning ear-to-ear and waving like a child.

"Steins!" He greeted.

"Martin!" I immediately approached him and received his bear hug.

He took a step back and scanned me from head to toe with his eyes. "You're looking gorgeous as ever," he complimented.

"Cut it. I thought you'd be here in Seoul earlier. February's almost over."

"Sorry, dear. I was caught up in Macau for a Bazaar photoshoot. I was able to fly here only yesterday."

People who did not know Martin would assume he was a straight guy. Everything about him—outfit, hair, perfume, gestures and actions—was MANLY. But he straight up confessed to me that he was gay the very first time we met and that he wasn't interested in me at all. I actually told my friends about it before so that they would quit teasing me to him, but most of them, especially Mara never believed me.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends."

"Oh, wait. I got something for you." He handed me the paper bag he was holding.

I peered inside and I saw something which resembled a coat. "What is this?���

"Coat. I saw your recent interview in Buzzfeed and you looked…" His face crumpled in disgust. "…like a rag or something."

"Hey! That's mean." His comment stung. I was aware I had no talent in fashion, but at least I knew how to dress professionally.

He laughed. "It's a joke, but it's true you don't have a fashion sense. And by the way, that guy over there has been staring at us since earlier."

I turned around to see who he was referring to and saw Young Hyun, indeed staring at us as if he would be eating us anytime. He looked away when he saw me staring back at him.

I went back to where DAY6 were and introduced Martin to them. The band members, except Young Hyun, were enthusiastic to meet him, especially when I told them that Martin was a photographer for magazines like Bazaar and Esquire.

Young Hyun was so quiet the whole time Martin was talking with them that I had to check on him once in a while. He wasn't even smiling and was looking scary with those eyes. If I didn't know him, I would have been terrified.

Even when they left, he didn't even bid me goodbye. Well, I would understand it if he was mad because I did not fulfil my promise that I would treat them to lunch that day, but I knew it wasn't because of that. Huh.

After the half-day shoot, I went to CJ E&M to report for work. It was also part of my contract to work with their creative team in strategizing for the company.

From there, I went home directly to rest, but imagine my surprise when I saw Young Hyun waiting outside my apartment.

"What are you doing here?" I asked upon seeing him.

I didn't wait for him to answer. I quickly opened the door to let him in. Although winter was almost over, it was still cold outside.

"How long have you been waiting there?" I asked him again.

He still seemed mad. "I wanted to say 'long' to make you worry, but I'm not heartless, so…ten minutes, probably."

He took off his coat and went to the couch as if it was his house. I followed him and stood in front of him with my hands on my hips. I was trying to look intimidating.

"I know you're mad at me, so tell me why."

"I'm not mad." How would I believe him when he was looking at me with those scary eyes of his?

I rolled my eyes at him. "Say that again and I'll say rats fly."

Unexpectedly, he pulled me down beside him. Then he lied down with my lap as his pillow. Really?

"Hey, what are you doing?" My heart started hammering my ribcage again.

But instead of answering my question, he said, "I'm not mad. I'm jealous."

Again, I didn't know what to say without making a fool out of myself.

"Ya, you already know I like you, but you still hugged that Martin in front of all of us."

Ahh, so that was it? I laughed because of how ridiculous it sounded.

"So that's why you were shooting daggers at Martin with your eyes."

I took out my phone while he continued his tirade about how Martin did not look gay at all. I logged in on my IG account and looked for something online. When I found it, I showed it to him.

"Who's that?" He got up and stared at me confused.

"Martin's boyfriend."

His small eyes widened a bit in shock.

"I told you, he's gay. You wouldn't even believe me."

"Oh. Okay, then." And he lied down again as if he wasn't mad a while ago.

Wah. He's really something.

"Let me rest for a while. I'm really tired, okay?" Then, he was out. Just how fast his jealousy dissipated was as fast as he fell asleep. Amazing.

I stared at his handsome face, tried to commit every feature of his face to my memory. I wanted to draw him, but I knew I could not. I wasn't a good sketch artist, though I could draw anime characters, doodle and paint landscape.

Then I remembered the woman in A Moment to Remember, the one with Alzheimer's. It was actually one of the things that I feared: to lose my memory and never find it again. It would be insane.

But my actual question was: what's the price of that wonderful feeling I was experiencing?

Whatever it was though, I just hoped it wasn't costly.

I did not realize I had fallen asleep. I just woke up with a blanket draped over me and Young Hyun nowhere to be found. I looked around and saw a post-it note on the center table.

Jjang,

I'm sorry, I have to leave. I no longer wake you up because I enjoyed seeing you drool and hear you snore. Kekeke

Brian <3

Whatever the cost of that beautiful feeling, I just hoped I would be ready to pay.