Chapter 19

I flipped through the pages of a random magazine tiredly, a series of yawns escaping my lips finding nothing captivating to my eyes to evade every passing tick to midnight. Unfortunately, there were only five to twelve and I don't understand why I was sitting idle like a fool and waiting for him.

Sleep had already controlled half of my senses and had driving me crazy to a point where I was ready to give up everything and knock myself to go unconscious, but by God's will, I wasn't supposed to do that because of my darn Alpha mate performing some darn ritual out there oblivious to how frustrated and enraged I felt about all of this.

I groaned, tossing the magazine aside to advance in search to peace my dry throat. My feet dragged against the oak laminate floor, grabbing a hold of glass and pouring some water from the heavy jug.

I placed my free hand on the kitchen island, envying the water in the glass. The life of the water is so cool and simple, I mean it doesn't have to do anything, doesn't have any burdens to carry nor it has to worry about its survival, its only work to flow and flow until it reaches its destination. No one can touch it, break it, stop it or finish it. If I were water I wouldn't have to worry about my destiny and flow all the way to my heart's content.

After chugging the water down and keeping it in the sink and moved to turn behind when I was stopped suddenly by a pair of strong manly arms around my waist, the heat of a male's body pressed to my back. The sparks and the ecstasy sensation was enough for a message for me to perceive that it was Alpha Lucas—in fact, his wolf.

"Hello, my love. "

He whispered in my ear in his husky jaw-dropping voice, pressing me closer to him. If I were a cartoon I would've blasted by now with how faster my heart was beating. My grip loosened a bit and gulped, scared not because of him but because of the intense feelings developing for him. I never had such experience with any guy and I was already on a step where my mate had already started calling me his love.

I understood that it was his wolf and obviously his wolf would want to show his beloved affections, even after getting his point I failed to get my point due to my lack of experience in the field.

I deliberately turned around in his arms, gently lifting my eyeballs to meet his. I gasped at the amount of intensity showing off in his orbs, his bright honeys stared at me lovingly, pressing my chest to his and leaning to muzzle his nose in my neck.

"A-Alpha Lucas."

He purred, pulling me closer to him, heat surging through the tips of my fingers from his warm bare chest. He moved his head to put his forehead on mine, nose touching and breaths mingling. Unlike all other times, his scent was lucid tonight unknowingly accelerating my deep hidden feelings.

But again that could be mate bond's magic.

"It feels so nice when you call me by name, but I would rather you call me Lucas, just Lucas," he thrummed, intertwined my hands in his calloused ones.

I bit my lip and tried to move him away, but a deep rumble in his chest had me cease my action as he softly guided my hands behind his neck, wrapping his own around my waist. He pressed me against the island with his lips assaulting my face, blowing out his warm breath on my face. He pulled me even closer while running his nose down my jaw.

The frantic signals in my brain went off, my body cautious with the unfamiliar affectionate touches. I tried pushing him, but God! he was like a rock, so solid I felt my wrist wound move out of its shape. The primal side of him brought me to an edge and my reaction unplanned when he brought his lips right next to mine, touching the corners of my pink lips.

"Lucas-Lucas I know you aren't in your sense now and we can't do this. You've to control your senses, your instincts. This is not right, and obviously not the right time since I'm still trying to understand you, but if you skip this forward then I will have to push you away," I explained, creating some distance between us.

His eyebrows frowned, blinking his eyelids in confusion. "Mates are supposed to comfort their other halves, they are supposed to love each other. Why do you talk about it like that? I am your mate and you're mine. Why would you push me away? " His frown deepened with his words. " What I feel towards you is pure love, not instincts, when will you understand that? Love doesn't need the right time and place to show it to someone, it just happens and I wholeheartedly love you."

My Heaven.

I wholeheartedly love you.

There goes my heart again.

Thump thump thump thump.

My eyes wandered around the kitchen ungainly. "Lucas, I'm not comfortable. We barely used to talk like friends and even after you explaining everything I can't go with this, I can't. I'm sorry. Maybe this situation would've been different if we were more close—like lovers. It would've made sense then, it might be alright for you but not for me. Don't forget that I'm human."

He gripped my shoulders, searching my soul on my eyes. Although, I could clearly see his emotions. The honey dulled almost painfully. "You don't love me, my heaven? You don't feel anything for me?"

I sighed, feeling dejected for both of us. "I can't say anything about love, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I do feel something for you. I'm not sure if it's from me or mate bond... we'll find something about it sooner."

"You'll try loving me?" He asked with anticipation.

I gulped, gazing in his hopeful eyes which reminded me of those days when students used to give me such looks for holidays and free periods. "I c-can try."

"You'll try to love me?" He asked again almost disbelievingly.

I discreetly nodded, not wanting to hurt either of us—more like not wanting to fool any of us.

"Then I will wait for you, even if it takes me a lifetime."

People say that our eyes were the open windows to our soul, no matter how much we try to fool one, our eyes would never betray us. I wasn't sure what my eyes were whispering to him, but his showed how much he cared and loved me.

I snapped my gaze away from him before he could get to read the emotion in my open windows. I have on every step of my life because Alpha Lucas was a lifechanging step for me.

"Alpha—I mean Lucas, I think we both need some good sleep. It's already past midnight," I suggested, looking everywhere but him.

"Sure, love," he agreed.

God! The word love, I think it will take forever for me to get used to it.

I stepped away from him, pacing fast towards the door when Alpha Lucas' hand suddenly gripped mine, pulling back into his chest turning me around in the process, our noses barely touched as I stared at him widely.

That was a whole unexpected pull. Even movies can't describe how earnest we appeared.

I gulped, my hand putting force on his hand. "Where are you going, Heaven?"

"To sleep." Duh.

He childishly frowned again. "Didn't you agree to spend the night with me?"

This time when I tried to unfasten his grip he let me, giving me what I wanted. "I clearly remember it, Lucas, I agreed to go with you to your house, and I am here, but as I said we need to take this slowly if you want me comfortable around you."

He parted his lips to spill the words out but I didn't let him.

I explained to him, carefully choosing my words in order to not hurt him. "See, I did what I could do. I understood your situation, your ritual, and gave you my hand to the length I could stretch. But with this we cannot cross our boundaries—at least I can't because I never grew up in your society. I don't know how you do things or how you take the next step, I don't know. I am a human and I know the human way to proceed in a relationship. So, Lucas just wait for me until I can match your steps. Control your wolf until then, I beg you."

I told him as softly as I could and took away from there to my room. The look on his face would have made me stay, but I shouldn't lose my ground either. I couldn't just forget everything and jump with him on his bed. We didn't even hold hands as normal couples do!

That's not how a person would proceed in love—at least I can't. I have self-respect too, it would look so bitch of me to agree with no matter how crazy and wild my urges went for him. I mean the mate bond was so cruel, I couldn't even say if what I feel was my own desire or a creation.

The only way to find my feelings for him was through getting over this full moon. Tomorrow would reveal whether I felt anything for him or not, of course, the mate bond will add its own ingredients but still, I wanted to discover.

***

"You what!?" You lost your virginity!" I exclaimed, both my hands cupping my open lips. The news was unbelievable, Skylar wasn't the type of girl who would go around and sleep with people. Obviously, it was something big since she always dreamt about losing it to her perfect one. Jace, of course.

"Low your voice down. There are people in the corridor. We don't want them to hear, do we?" Skylar slapped my wrist with her hand and Ashley laughed as she swiped something on her phone.

"Oh god, I can't believe this," I shook my head. "What about you?" I turned to Ashley.

I didn't know her much, but I was willing to know her. She seemed to be the bold and I-don't-give-a-shit sort of person like Crystal; Skylar's sister. I liked that about her.

She shrugged. "You won't be able to count."

I ohed at her, it wasn't as shocking as Skylar's news and was a believable thing since still had so much to know about her

"Anyway, I want to know why didn't you guys tell me about this whole mate bond thing?" I shifted my eyes on both of them.

Ashley spoke, "It was something only mates tell their human, that wasn't something we could reveal. Even Jace told Skylar about this himself."

I turned to Skylar and she nodded in agreement. I hmmed. "Then I guess, that's fair."

We started doing our work again, there wasn't much since it was all packing work and only takes three to four hours to get things done. I was currently planning the start date for the new city mall near the south-west border of our pack. Alpha Lucas was busy with many things with other high-rankings and charged this job on me. But I guess it wasn't that hard coping as I did at the beginning of my career.

And then suddenly a question popped in my head which made sense to ask.

"Skylar, I have been seeing you a lot around this office, where's your lawyer self?"

She sighed, knowing that I would ask her one or the other day. "I quit."

I glanced at her confused. "Why? Wasn't the job well paid?"

"With everything going around this pack, I had to quit. I don't regret it though, I make more money than before," she winked.

"Wasn't that your dream or something?"

"But this is more fun and I think even you're enjoying your life more than before."

Enjoying?

I wasn't sure.

All along to this point, I had been confused and so scared of the future outcomes. There were negatives as well as positives after I met Alpha.

But looking at the positive side I was able to live my life without getting bored and my life became a bit easier with many people holding my back and with Alpha Lucas awakening my deep hidden feelings.

Life was surely unexpected and adventurous.