The melody that fills the air

Fingers playfully danced as sheets of melody continue to fill the soul as the music repeats again perfecting every tempo and beat

"Stop stop stop" that's not right. It's got to go slower and then pick it up gracefully again at that note. The whole floor stopped again.

It was rather frustrating as the entire chamber of orchestra team had gone through this particular sheet for 10 times yet it doesn't pick up the last verse correctly. And the instructor has single out Ray again. They had to follow his lead but today he wasn't making it easy for them.

"Let's take 5!"

"What wrong? He was confronted later. You are not getting it the right tempo and note, we did well yesterday but it's not working out again today."

"Sorry perhaps can we go onto the other pieces I'll practice it again tonight and let's try it again tomorrow. We can work on the rest first." Ray said apologetically

"Okay but I want to see results by tomorrow Ray, you are holding the team back "

It was pressurising as this team of orchestra players consisted of the best, ranging from different countries and he had been selected for this particular performance they had for an upcoming event.

"You play it again, close your eyes just feel each note, you will know when to pick it up, go with it, feel the flow you will know when to pick up it comes naturally ....." keep trying until you get it, just relax, breathe and feel the music in your vein and let the emotions flow and when you sing it let it come out like how you feel it" a voice rang into his head. His fingers froze to that but he shook himself out from it. He kept his focus clear, closes his eyes and feel the flow from his heart to the fingers through the veins. That was how they had always rehearse.

He re-played the version that they had played together back then - the sound of piano and violin blended so well with the team and as the soft sound of guitar string enters to pick it up the tempo it was a perfect match ...the gentle yet sharp melodious tone blending in softly, contemporary in itself yet so beautiful. Just majestic as the background were filled with many lovely scenes that was put together to blend in with the performance. Just lovely and lively as the audience soul quietly feasted to the sweet sound that fills the hall.

A reflection of the familiar face as his eyes are still closed kept him calmed. The eyes that stared back had a smile and motivation that speaks out "go on you are doing alright"

And that inspiration he kept close to him, pushing himself to always achieve the best in everything he does.

Back to the present, he went on to perform perfectly with a standing ovation that day. The lights and stage ...reminded him of the old days yet he had promised to move on and not look back. Ray love classical to a certain extend it always has a place in his heart. But he had left his piano, violin and orchestra music untouched ever since that fateful day that he doesn't speak about. It brings back unbearable memories that he had not been able to erase. It was only recently that he had picked it up again.

2.5 years of soul searching and reconciliation with himself made him realised life is much bigger, music is his life and soul. He had move on from the fateful day when the sky rained endlessly and he had to face the most difficult heart wrenching fact that he had lost someone very dear to him. When the news was told to him. It was beyond what he could swallow. He went from berserk to denial to devastation to anger to frustration and finally acute depression. That triggered a self check.

"How is he?" His sponsors would ask months after the quietness. "He had taken off to travel leaving everything behind." There were no words left to be spoken, just shocked that Jon left...gone...apart forever. He left them. Ray has no closure for himself. He couldn't even accept let alone explain this whole incident that he had been blaming himself on - should he had been around, it would have be different. "I should have been there, I know it would be different ..." he cried almost every night to sleep.

And being closely knitted so closely knitted made it even harder. But the passing was just too sudden to absorb.

He had to deal with questions being one of the closest. He simply can't stand there and stay composed...the expectations that he was just another composed professional, not even allowed to grief and throw his tantrum, not wanting to turn up for work to mourn wasn't even a choice to consider and all these are not acceptable in the eyes of others, everything was confined to a parameter of what we should do, how we should act, not able to cry in front of the press and public was just insane, the scripted days for him and composed self is inhumane let alone tormenting to the people around him....and that's when he realises this is the path they had chosen, where their lives is not theirs while it's a profession but in it he lost his identity.

And he grew up overnight using those moments to push himself through everyday. Push to drum through the corporate ladder, push to excel in his professional music career making it to where he is today not letting others define his path but he has garner enough position and status to dictate what he wants.

"Don't feel like playing that song, can we switched?" Ray asked

"Why? You used to like it a lot?"

"Yeah just wanted to hear something else" He would lock-away every single memory that reminds him of Jon and the moments they spent together.

When Ray moved on to join another performance group as a freelance performer he hardly open up his past to his colleagues. He was well guarded on his past, he doesn't share what his background is - he had detached himself from his family not wanting to be called back to join the throne of games in his family business that now has also invested shares in the entertainment business and his uncle had been constantly persuading him to come back to help manage some of the new fronts and expansion ideas given Ray's experience and exposure.

But Ray wasn't prepared to leverage his family reputation to make it. He wanted to work his way up on his own - not entirely surprising as the new generation prefers not be confined by rules and regulations which is highly political in a family owned business and as lovingly his grandparents are to him, they are strictly hierarchical and nonsensical when it comes to running business versus family affairs.

He prefers hanging out with his colleagues but one thing that had been stuck to him ever since - music and art. His parents hired a personal tutor and coach for him since young. Highly disciplined in putting in hours of practice since young he could pass as a child prodigy for selected instrument that he played. He had been accustomed to joining competitive performances since young and being a part of a highly select group of performers since school days, music had never left him, infact it was part of him.

It was his soul that connected him and Jon so well until everything came crumbling down.