Yi Ren snaps back to Ray's question again
"Yi Ren, what do you mean by that? That he had everyone's hands tied?" Yi Ren was careful not to breathe anything about the deal and brushed it off.
"Nah...just passing comments nothing much, I don't think you will be helping your family if you go and negotiate with Uncle Li, it will make it worst. Yi Ren explained but is careful not to over reveal"
Ray stopped for a bit and decided to ask Yi Ren "is this proposal important for you?"
Yi Ren wasn't sure how to answer Ray as it is actually important that this redeems what Uncle Li wanted to do earlier which will harm Kay.
"Yes ... "Yi Ren replied
"Okay but do it my way....I'll design and arrange for the whole MV, I choose the arrangements and layout of how I want to launch my come back not be dictated by any of you.... and Yi Ren your dancers will dance for me" Ray said
"No! you will dance with me, I will set how it will be choreographed." Yi Ren said sternly taking control of the conversation and slightly now intimidating Ray. Ray was taken aback by Yi Ren's aggressiveness while Yi Ren was afraid Ray would take the wrong step not abiding to the original agreement that he had no privy to and it would anger Uncle Li further.
"Let go of my hands you are hurting me Yi Ren!" Yi Ren was subconsciously imagining the worst that could happen to Kay, his reputation and his path forward and at that he grab Ray's hand, in that split second he just wanted to let Ray know the danger he is facing and that Ray just got to follow through this last request but stop short realising it would be too risky to reveal too much to Ray at this juncture.
"Ouch! Yi Ren, what's wrong with you! my hand hurts!" Ray said again trying to free himself from Yi Ren's grip.
Yi Ren snaps out from the visual he had on Ray when he was at his lowest point back then after Jon's incident. Ray was devastated, lifeless to be exact ... and he had always questions what Jon is to Ray... for Ray to be acting that way. And if this situation gets out of hand will Ray fall back into that miserable self revisiting the past. Yi Ren was afraid for some reason to see Ray in that scenario again
Yi Ren had always wondered how close were they? Then what are they to each other? Did Ray ever treat him Yi Ren as a substitute all these while when Ray started to depend on Yi Ren then to keep him company? the mere moments of seeing Ray smile months into them spending time together ... what was that ? Until when Ray found out he was a family friend, he turned cold why?... what was that as well. Yi Ren on the other hand was confused with the signals Ray was sending out let alone to understand his own feelings...he was happy seeing Ray smile after months of sadness and that smile melted his heart. It was weird.
Ray peeled Yi Ren's hands away feeling flustered at Yi Ren's reaction and his wrist is hurting from the grip.
"Sorry. I was just concern" Yi Ren said as he move closer in to Ray but stopped short after seeing Ray's fear through his eyes. It was subtle but Ray was afraid of Yi Ren.
Yi Ren curiosity played on further what is this fear that he is sensing of from Ray. Yi Ren stepped back and snap out of it. "Come let's discuss, sorry was just carried away" Yi Ren offered a recovery to the awkward situation.
Ray straighten up himself, brushed his fingers through his head and then carefully regained his calmness and move on to the usual formal conversation. They stayed up to discuss the plans until it was time for Yi Ren to leave and they bid farewell.
Back at home, Ray stood there by the window standing quietly, staring at the night sky from the veranda of the house... he replayed back what he felt earlier.
Why was he afraid, what was he afraid of earlier when Yi Ren step closer, that aggressiveness and intense stare...why did it scare him yet he felt hurt at the same time. What is this feeling that he wasn't familiar with.... that could unearth his calm posture. He wasn't able to point it down but it was a mixture of hurt...hurt because he was afraid of Yi Ren's motive and afraid to have Yi Ren gain more of his trust and inch his way through and see his vulnerable side. He was afraid of himself of his feelings of how is he reacting this way. He was afraid to let himself feel comfortable yet have things taken away from him later.
The next day at work, his secretary reach out to Er Ge.
"I think something's not right with Mr Ray..he has asked to cancel his morning schedule and he has been locking himself in the sound proofed room and he has been on his piano ... should I interrupt? He hadn't been answering all the transferred calls."
"I'll go and see him in a while" Er Ge replied
As Er Ge approach Ray's room towards the sound proofed room. He could make out the piano keys through the frosted glass room. He stopped for a bit and knocked. But there were no response. He went on to push the door open and as soon as the gap make way, the loud melody made its way out, Ray's back was facing the door. Hmm should have asked them to placed the piano the other way round instead he thought. That would be safer to see who walks in.
Er Ge stopped as soon as he closed the door behind. Ray's was drowned in his own music, drowned in creating melody that fills the room. He was playing intensively.
The melody had intense mixture of anger, fright, bitter and sad. The intensity was filled with anger yet a tinge of fear. Er Ge recall during their younger days when they would play by the river with a short waterfall that runs through the forest. Ray would in his later years always describe and equate music notes and rhythm to the likes of nature. To him when he plays it fast and loud with frustration and a sudden change to soften it, it would reminds him of the water fall.
"Why do you equate it to waterfall" Er Ge remember asking Ray once when he kept using that phrase as a reference and Ray's response was always deep and intriguing.
"The sound of the gushing water from above - its intensity anger like, yet fearful as the water gushes down...it struggles to find calmness as it drops down into the chaotic whirlpool beneath not drowning but staying afloat blending in with the river below, that's the rhythm of the water fall"
And to that, Ray is probably feeling the same
with Yi Ren. A whirlpool of emotion and uncertainty yet the need to stay focused and calmed given their partnership and impending collaboration. And perhaps past experience was something that continuously pull him back. His deep hidden emotion that was on its path to healing ....yet often pricked for recollection. His heart never seem to fully heal. The fear of trusting and depositing too much emotion in a person is still his biggest obstacle. And that was something he had very often drummed into himself. "Never get distracted or moved by non work related matters - stay emotional less, the best solution"
To Er Ge, listening to the music easing out - It was as though the piano was weeping as it sung the melody throughout the room. Er Ge stood for a while just observing Ray and decided to step back and close the door leaving Ray alone to his piano.