Letting the feelings run

Ray was deep into his thoughts seated by the balcony as he look far out into the view beckon by the city skyline far out as the morning sun rises. In his deep thought in his heart he said

Jon...I hope you are well, I met someone which I have been trying to avoid ....these feelings ... I'm not sure exactly why... but I'm  falling deeper into it seems ...I'm willing to face it and be true to myself. Pray for me that I'll be strong.

Yesterday night he recalled what transpired as the morning light creep into the room through the drapes waking him up as he quietly slips out from the bed, removing Yi Ren's hand over his slim waist making his way to the bathroom to wash up quietly as he sink himself through a hot bath. Yi Ren was still deep asleep when he finishes his bath. Ray made his way out to the balcony slipping into the robe.

This was the Yi Ren he knew when they first met..but he left those feelings unattended not until yesterday how the submerged feelings blew out of proportion instantaneously as it was given opportunity to be unveiled both together. It was as pure as it could get seeing Yi Ren expressing himself and him responding to Yi Ren's every move. Being away from watchful eyes allows him to be himself but will this change when they get back? He asked.

He stopped his mind from processing these thoughts as he breathe in the morning awe, just feeling the warmth of the sun and admiring the creeping flowers smiling at him wrapping itself on the balcony railing, he took a moment to sketch that out on to his book that he took along.

Thé robe couldn't really cover his legs fully hence the morning breeze had felt a little chilly as the sudden wind came through the balcony. He tugged into his robe further. As he left the curtain slightly apart, enough so he could have a glimpse of the Yi Ren's figure sleeping peacefully still. He smiled looking at Yi Ren realising how much he had felt throughout yesterday night. His mind floated back to his thoughts right before leaving for this trip.

He had avoided Yi Ren at all costs to the extend of leaving the country for a break and even if for some miraculous reason they still made it out to meet here. How have fate played it out he wondered. His emotion back there was of uncertain at first when Yi Ren tried to open up this path for them, he was afraid yet he responded initially but put a stop to it. Yesterday night - he was totally lost in Yi Ren's move just surrendering what his heart wanted and filling the void. He felt comforted and relieved after yesterday. Ray deeply wanted to know how he himself would react without any worries that's attached with them here alone. He was surprised how much he had desperately seek for the same yearning to explore their unfinished intimacy from the last encounter.

"Ray!" He and jump up abruptly as he heard Yi Ren's frantic voice and jolted back into the room. Ray went straight to the bed to find Yi Ren staring straight into the ceiling, as soon as Yi Ren saw Ray, he move forward to hug him, bringing him down on the bed again.

"Hey are you ok?" Ray asked still stunned by Yi Ren's reaction as Yi Ren squeeze him tighter in his embrace "I thought I lost you again, had a bad dream...I dreamt that you went off after what happen yesterday and that I was forcing you through it when I saw the empty bed, I.."

Ray had never seen this side of Yi Ren as he came across confidently to most people all of the time.

"I'm here I was out at the balcony...."Ray responded brushing Yi Ren's hair through with his fingers as he look straight into his eyes. This man in front of him, he is definitely securing Ray's heart deeper with such lovely behaviour and charming look in the morning Ray thought.

"Yesterday... was I too rough? Are you okay?" Yi Ren look at Ray seeking for his respond.

Ray felt shy and embarrassed at that and nodded his head "I'm fine ....just a bit sore" he said meekly and shyly. With that Yi Ren pulled him nearer, concern trying to check it out for him, Ray feeling embarrass stop him "I'm okay" Ray said assuring him and stopping his hands from moving further and dropped his head shyly.

"I love you" He planted a kiss on his shy lips

"Ray" Yi Ren called out again

"Mnnn" Ray answered back

"I know what you are thinking, leave the worries for tomorrow, let's be ourselves out here"

"Don't want to loose you again" He continued starring deep into Ray's eyes as he said. "The last time ....tell me more about it I want to understand what was going through your mind at the studio back then so I can help you to address it" Yi Ren started his probing again.

"Hey...you there?" He continue the trail of Ray's eyes now looking down.

"I ... don't know", just wasn't sure if it was right yet I feel I wanted to know more and wanted to feel you more...it was a confusing thought and compounded with the need to focus on work ... I guess I choose to focus than to explore" Ray said solemnly.

"You choose to hide behind that reason, you gave up because you fear the consequences ?" Yi Ren completely engross in the conversation trying to understand Ray.

"I don't know - I have never really let my guards down when I'm not sure" Ray said.

"You did yesterday" with that Yi Ren pushed him down again to the bed

"I can feel you clearly yesterday, your true self and what you wanted while I sense fear, you didn't let it stop you but you choose to find out and you did when you let me in" Yi Ren said as he looked into the deep eyes starring back at him

"I know that's when I feel afraid to feel more" He said a split second of remembering how it feels to loose someone or feel hurt because you care too much or too deep for somebody.

"It's never always the same I'm here - always" with that he gave the morning lips a deep passionate kiss again invoking the morning pleasure. Ray was strummed to the maximum and they again let their hearts and soul connect as the intimacy drives them to ecstasy.