Chapter 12: Begin

Flashback: 2015

"I wouldn't be surprised if up until now I'm only known for being the smart kid in school with vast knowledge. As long as I can improve my standing every quarter, I'm sure that my parents would be proud of me as their oldest daughter. I'll be okay 'til the end. I'll give them my best even if I'll have to bear with it alone."

This is my reminder for myself. I don't have any friends in school but at least I could still do everything by myself. I'm used to being alone. I don't need to worry about the toxic people who'll try to bring me down from my studies. A loner.

Every day, I force myself on reading tons of books without any breaks in between. They want me to remain the top one student in the class. They are my parents, do I have any choice?

I turn my back away from everyone who tried to befriend me. I'm not happy yet I need to sacrifice my happiness for my family. My parents judged everyone critically and no one fits their standards. Maybe, I became judgemental myself.

Everyone is a traitor. No one in school has ever treated each other fairly. Individual rankings will always be a competition. Friendships never last because they will always end in betrayal. Just like my mother. She emphasized her experiences. "Look at me, my high school friends were as treacherous as those who shed their skins and showed their true colors. Jealousy always suffices in them. As much as possible, don't be friends with anyone without my consent. There isn't a true friend in this world, only traitors, understand?"

I became numb within my surroundings. Maybe this is a punishment from my past life. My parents never looked at me like a daughter who has great ambitions for herself. I am human but why is it that they insist on treating me like a doll? Constantly controlled by them?

I ate lunch and proceeded towards the library for my MTAP review, a math competition among the best schools in the Philippines. I have enough time to review before the elimination round date but I have to work diligently on it.

A guy wearing a cap and a flannel went inside the room. He has a hipster vibe with radiant confidence surrounding him. It was no other than Anthony, the cool kid in my class. He and his friends were known for their exceptional dance skills and currently part of an underground dance crew. They've also posted some dance covers on YouTube.

I shifted my gaze onto my notes. Don't get distracted from his looks Mia.

Ma'am Cathy, my teacher, and MTAP trainer came and introduced Anthony as a new member of our group. "Adam couldn't come for the competition this school year because of personal reasons. So I had to look for someone else with potential based on previous scores and a pre-test given to every interested student in your batch. Surprisingly, Anthony has exceeded my expectations so I choose him for this year's competition. Okay? No violent reactions?"

My groupmate and I shook heads.

I wouldn't imagine that Adam would be replaced this year with a dancer. I mean, Anthony never garnered any awards in academic competitions. I assumed before that his grades were only slightly above the average. Is he seriously joining this year's competition?

I just hope that we'll still be able to garner 1st place this year and maintain the consistent ranking of the previous batches from our school. It will be a shame if we suddenly rank lower than last year's competition.

My groupmates brought out our notebooks and pens. I couldn't help but giggle when after he lost grip on his calculator and our teacher's reaction. "Gracious goodness, no calculators are allowed during the contest. You should be able to solve quickly without any calculating devices."

He covered his pale face with the palms of his hands due to the embarrassment he felt. “I’m sorry ma’am, this is my first time joining a math competition.”

“Well, the rule is the basis of common sense but it’s alright. I’ll be gentle with you for now. The pressure will heighten once the day comes.“

His face got pale and he covered his face from embarrassment, "I'm sorry ma'am. It's my first time joining a Math competition."

I tried to control my laughter from his mistake. I'm a bit harsh at first but I'm going to be considerate towards him. We'll mind our own business.

For the whole training session, I listened to and understood the lectures until 5 p.m. I went directly to the waiting area and sat on a vacant bench. I began listening to my playlist filled with Taylor Swift's songs. I didn't notice that Anthony sat beside me until he tapped on my shoulder.

I couldn't hear him clearly since I put the music at its maximum volume. Who is disturbing my peace? I wasn't in the mood for a conversation. I always avoided conversations with others.

He suddenly took the cellphone in my hand and stopped the music that was playing midway. He became pretty annoying right now. He interrupted my 'me' time when I never bothered to disturb him.

I sneered at him, " Why did you pause my music from playing? That was just rude."

"I'm sorry to intrude but it feels boring without anybody to talk with. At least you can be lost in your world. I don't daydream because I have always been brought back to my reality."

"Don't bother. I'm used to being alone. I don't have friends in this school. They are all my competitors, including you. Therefore, please mind your own business."

He looked at me with a confused look. "Yet, y

don't you feel any sadness from loneliness? I could agree that we needed to enjoy our isolation every once in a while but I still think that there should be a friend we can trust. Someone who is there whenever we face difficult situations. Without friends, it becomes unhealthy for a person and could drive anyone insane."

I understood his point but my parents insisted that there isn't a true friend who'll stay by my side. Everyone leaves in the end.

There was a tone of sarcasm in my voice. "I'm much happier like this. Imagine, you won't have to worry about any issues or arguments. I won't get hurt. I'll only worry about myself, I don't have to worry about someone else."

He smirked, "Really? Do you know that you're bad at lying right now? It shows on your face that it must have been difficult being alone. How about this? I'll try to prove to you that you'll be much happier being friends with me and my group of best friends?"

"Me becoming friends with you and your group? I wouldn't fit in. There isn't anything interesting about me and your group already looks complete without me. Honestly, I would rather stay in my imaginary world."

"Let me help you! I'll convince my friends and let you join us. There isn't any problem with you joining. Just like what others say, 'The more, the merrier."

There were these thoughts that whispered into my ears. "Make your choice Mia and don't let your thoughts forbid you. Become greedy at least once. It's time to make your own choice. Your parents shouldn't restrict your decisions because you have the free will to choose. Cut off their attached strings carefully and slowly.

I gave him a reassuring smile. "Alright, I'll let you convince me that you and your friends are a great company to be with. But, I'll only give you one chance. Once the chance I'd gone, we'll be back as acquaintances. Do we have a deal?"

His eyes lit up in joy. "We have a deal. First, I should teach you on the official handshake my friends and I do every time."

"Uh. Is it really necessary?"

"Of course! My bond with my friends becomes stronger every day. It's a way for us to remember each other. Every group of friends does this… Let me demonstrate."

At first, I couldn't keep up with the random hand gestures and moves he is doing but it became easier as we repeated the movements.

"Mia! Your guardian is here," the school's bodyguard shouted.

"Okay," I replied. I fixed my things and went outside the school gate. Anthony approached me again while breathing heavily from exhaustion. "I forgot to tell you, prepare a dance for an initiation. Let me give you my phone number, I've written it on this tiny paper and it's in your phone case."

"Okay. Thank you. I have to go. Stay safe on your way home," replied with a reassuring smile.

I rode into my father's car and switched on the radio. My father looked at me with a confused face. "Who was that guy from earlier?"

"He is Anthony, my classmate, and groupmate for MTAP. He gave me his phone number requested by my teacher so that I can send him updates on the review."

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket. A notification popped up, it was a message from an unknown number. I compared the writing on the small piece of paper with the phone number. It's from Anthony.

"I have a list of our batchmates' contact numbers to the point that I could memorize them. I'm good with numbers, do you agree?"

I smiled like crazy after reading his message. I saved his number under my contact list. Another message appeared.

"You can contact me anytime. I'm always available."

***End of Flashback

"I would like to decline your offer for now," I replied apologetically

I noticed Dong-Yul with his observant expression. "You know Mia, this is similar to that moment when I offered you an opportunity to audition. Maybe, you'll reconsider your teacher's offer? We can talk further on your schedule and make a few adjustments."

Sir Victor faced Dong-Yul. "Don't worry sir Justin, it's really fine. I understand that she has the choice to participate," he looked at me and continued, "but please inform me whenever you're interested."

I tried to hide the sadness I'm feeling. "Thank you for the offer sir. I'll make sure to inform you if ever I'll reconsider my decision."

"Okay, Mia. Take your time to decide since you have approximately a month to solve five questions which will be posted on the bulletin board next week. I'll be going now. Goodbye Mia and sir Justin, I have to go back because my lunch break is nearly over. Mia, take care of your health."

I bowed and greeted him back. "I will sir. Goodbye."

After sir Victor left, I noticed Dong-Yul's firm stare. "Mia, I have a feeling that you wanted to join but why does it look like something is stopping you? Tell me, is there a reason behind your decline?

I sighed in despair. "There is a memory in which I couldn't share with anyone yet. It's a memory that reveals my weaknesses. It's too personal that's why I couldn't tell you yet."

He just nodded at my response. "I'll respect your choice. Just know that if there's anything I can help you with I'll be in your assistance, except for helping you with homework. I don't like studying that much."

I laughed at his last statement. "Don't worry, I'll handle it."

Dong-Yul asked the dorm managers if it is alright to practice inside the dorm managers' room so that we could avoid attention from others. The managers agreed and reminded him to leave just before the earliest dismissal.

We quickly entered the room, a pile of stacked papers seen at the side of the table and a bunk bed. After all, some of the managers sleep in the dorms during their shifts.

My voice felt weak today since I have a fever, so both of us binge-watched some performances of well-known artists. In return, he renditioned and explained some elements of the songs. We had a good time until we noticed that it's already 4:30 PM. He immediately wore his face mask and cap.

All of a sudden, the sound of footsteps became louder at each minute. Someone is humming towards the room. Out of hesitation, I pointed at the comfort room where Dong-Yul could hide. He immediately jolted and locked the door as he entered the comfort room. I took a step back as a junior high school student carefully opened the door.

I wiped my sweat off my forehead and waved at her with attempts of being friendly. How would Dong-Yul be able to leave now?