Chapter 36: Confessions

Breana’s POV

She opened the door of her apartment and peeked over.

“We need to talk.” I told her.

She lets me in. She just took a bath, the towel hanging around her neck. Her hair is still wet and her eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and probably from crying also. I fight the urge to hug her then and there.

“How is she? Mad, I suppose.” Alex slouched on the sofa, closing her eyes. I sat across her.

“I’m not so sure. She looks conflicted though. You surprised her. Us.” I admitted.

“Myself included.” She responds.

“You know; I’ve liked you since grade school. You were cool, calm, collected…”

“Where is this coming from??” Her brows furrowed, not understanding me.

“I liked you in a way that I have thought I fell in love. Silly, you might say but for all I know that was what it was.” She did not interrupt me this time but her eyes are open now and trained on me so I continue.

“Maybe, that was the reason I was so hurt before. Then when you showed up again and all these feelings came back. I don’t know what I should feel. You know what I realized? That I was forcing myself to believe I didn’t love you because I know you couldn’t return my feelings the same way.” I paused.

“Bree. I did not know.” She puckered her bottom lip as she lowered her gaze.

“And I’m letting you know now and listen. You told me last time that in order to know and understand if people are sincere with their love is that I should watch from the sidelines. I shouldn’t be observing you, it should be the one who confessed to me yet I couldn’t stop myself sometimes, especially when you’re around. That was when I’ve known you are in love with Sunny. She can make you smile but you want to make her smile as much, if not, even more. You can be so protective of her that you get jealous of your cousin and that made you mad. Not being able to express what you really feel and seeing her with Xerxes flipped the switch. Isn’t it? That’s why you did it.”

Silence. She didn’t lift her gaze from the floor. I know. I understand. We are on the same shoes. But I did not act on my feelings.

“That’s a yes, I guess. But you know what, that’s what I’ve been feeling too. That I can’t have the person I want the most. I didn’t come here to get mad at you for not confessing to Mitchelle properly ‘cause if I do, that’s me being hypocritical, for I haven’t confessed, until just now. That’s why I’m saying these things to you. I understand how you feel but that doesn’t make what you did right. It is not and she deserve and apology.”

“You are so unfair.” She slowly breathes out.

Life can be unfair, I agreed on my mind.

“Why?” I ask her instead.

“Throughout the night all I could think of is how do I rectify what I did, what do I say? Then you came here and gave me a confession. Now, that’s another thing to mess my wits out of me.”

“I think that’s what people call karma.” I smiled.

“I’m sorry Bree. I love her.”

You don’t have to say the obvious. I know. Even without you saying, I already know. It has been on my mind. Alex can be ruthless sometimes. The way she doesn’t cover up a truth. She’d rather let people get hurt from knowing the truth than make them believe a lie.

“Yeah, you made your point at the bar but that won’t stop me from asking you out on a date.” I pushed my luck.

“What?!” She asks incredulously. Then she laughed at my proposition. Her hands darting on her hair to push it back.

“Why? Would you turn down a pretty lady like me? If you have the guts to reject me at least let me have a single date before you finally say no.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?” Alex leans forward. She joined her palms together then settled it under her chin, her elbows rest on each of her knees. She looks at me in the eyes.

“Because maybe I need this to finally let you go and you need this to take your mind off of whatever’s bothering you for the meantime. Consider it a break or you could just imagine I am Sunny you’re going out with, if it helps.”

“But that’s being unfair to you, I can’t do-”

“No, it’s not.” I said firmly.

It’s me being selfish actually. It’s me wanting you even if it’s just play pretend for the first and last time.

It’s me doing this so I can move on. Because I’m being selfish, loving you while someone is waiting for me to love her.

It’s me finally letting my feelings take the reigns over my reason. Just for a day.

“You still have class.” Alex stated. As if that would keep me from fulfilling this. It was past lunchtime anyway.

I stood up. “I’m going home to change. Pick me up in an hour. I’m late for class anyway.” I found myself out without waiting for her reply.

Alex arrived in front of our house after an hour, honking her car. I rushed my way out.

“Where to first?” She restarts the car once I was inside.

“Aren’t you going to compliment me first? By the way, you look pretty handsome as always Alex.” I remarked.

She looks extra handsome in the outfit she is wearing. She had her long coat on but I could still see her fit. Her loose button up black shirt is tucked under the waistband of her tight jeans that hug her butt and long legs. Her leather sandal strapped on her feet. She is wearing a perfume that gives her the flower and citrus scent I love. At least she tried to look better than her casual clothes, not that she doesn’t look any less in them.

She laughed inwardly. “You look amazing.” She took a quick glance and returned her attention back on the road as she drives.

I gave a subtle smile.

“Every typical date includes movies so let’s start there.” I suggest as she speeds away.

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P.S. Follow me on Instagram @cosmicstar_1222 -_~ Might drop a few teasers there and we could chat about my novel