Choose Between The Two

As I pull up to Tonya crib she called my phone. Hello where are you? I'm outside your house. Oh bring your ass in then. Alright I'll be in there in a minute. I hung up just to get a call from Maya. Hey bae what's up? Wyd nothing just chilling with my girls. Yeah you better not be with that girl Tonya. I sat quiet for a minute because I knew she didn't want me round her because she knew me in Tonya was messing around while she was locked up. Look Maya Tonya my friend in it's nothing like that between us. But I'm about to go in her house to see what's up real quick so I'm going to call you back in a few. Don't bother calling me back because I know you still messing around with that girl. Well if you feel like I'm messing with her then why keep trying to fuck on me then? My point in case shut the fuck up in let me do me. As long as you getting pleased don't even worry about the next mother fucker.

I hang up my phone because Maya begins to piss me off about stupid shit. Hey Tonya I'm here what we got? I don't know I just want to have fun. Girl let go for some drinks in eat. Ok bet we can do that. Me in Tonya always have a great time together but it's something about her I couldn't let her go. She was the only person I had that really believed in me. I really never asked her for nothing because I know if I needed she was there. But she had her petty ways also but she don't believe she was petty. But in other eyes she was big petty. We pull up to our spot El patron a Mexican restaurant where the drinks was the best. We get out to walk in we was greeted by the host. We follow our host to our seats in we sat down in started talking. Erica so you know I been chilling with in old friend. I'm thinking to myself like who could it be. But then it dawn on me on who it could be because that's the only person that was out. I said Its your old boo from a long time ago. Yeah girl I been chilling with him for the pass few days. Oh really that's why you been acting funny towards me. Girl no It's just I been busy working an hanging with him. Oh ok that's what up yeah. So what have you been up too? Nothing but the same oh same oh chilling in making sure my pops good. Oh ok that's what's up. Yeah nothing major just trying to make a side Hustle. Oh ok that's what's up bm.

As the day got late we finish eating in chilling she gets a phone call. Shhh don't say nothing he calling he don't know I'm with you. I'm sitting there like why the fuck you got to hide the fact you dealing with me. After she hangs up I ask why you hiding that you hanging with me? Because he really don't care for you in I don't want no drama between you'll.  I'm scratching my head like bitch I'm to old to be hiding that I'm fucking with my bm. The whole ride to drop me off was silent no conversation nothing just complete silence. As I got ready to exit her car she was like I'll call you later or text you. I closed the door like I didn't hear nothing she said. In from that day I knew that friendship and bond we had was over. I knew she was going to choose a nigga over her friends any day.

I knew it was time for me to just back away from her in let her enjoy her friend without having to hide that she hangs out with me. Later that night I get a text message from her in my phone she was under baby mama but it changed to her full government name. I read the message in I responded with a simple three words nothing long just short in simple. I knew she would put it together that I didn't want to talk at that moment. She ask me was I alright in I responded with a simple yeah. Tonya last text was I see you don't want to talk so I'm going let you go. I sent the ok hand emoji in ended the conversation. I went in sat in the tube in started thinking to myself. Everybody ain't what they say they is in I see it for myself now. They say the real stay the fake will divide in that has been the realist thing I ever heard. I came to the conclusion ain't nobody I deal with kept it real.

Chapter 39  New Friend

I got out the tub I get a call from my old friend of mines from back in 2009. He hit me saying he wanted to hang out or whatever in have some drinks. I took the offer up because I need to drink to clear my mind. I get out my clothes that I'm put on in my shoes got to have the drip right. But he hits me up to let me know he on the way to come get me. I got dress hair did or whatever. He pulls up in front of my crib in I grab my keys and bag. We leave out to hit up this other Mexican restaurant in my city. We pull up to the place we was greeted by some friends. As we all got out the cars to head inside to be seated. I get a call from Tonya. I screened the call in let it go to voicemail. My friend was like why you didn't pick up? Long story my boy long story. We all was seated together at one big table. First thing we did was order drinks.

Man we started drinking shots of tequila and henny. I knew we was fucking up by mixing brown in white liquor together. We kept turning up with nice size cups of liquor. I never felt so num a day in my life I felt as though a weight had lifted up off my back. My friend had to pause the drinking in made us get some food in our systems. We steady trying to keep going. He grabbed my cup like yo slow down before you get to far gone. At that moment I really didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to drink the pain away in forget about everything that happened. He grabbed my cups in said no more so I politely grabbed my shit back in said let me enjoy. He knew something was wrong. He grabbed me like what is wrong with you friend I never seen you drink yourself under like this.

All I could do is move my head like nope, I'm not alright but also don't want to talk about it.  As we ate I order more liquor to drown my pain in since I could fall back into the old habit. I picked up a new one an that's drinking. I was feeling good when we got up from the table. Went out side smoked a little weed in relaxed afterwards. I made it back home in one piece. Before I got in bed I checked my phone in it's Tonya. I ignored it didn't even look at it. I was still pissed I got in the tub to ease my mind.  I bathed got out in got in my bed in started thinking it's time for change it's time to get yourself together. Stop being super save a hoe to these mfs that don't give a fuck about me.

You got to let them go let them fall on their own. I came up to that conclusion I'm done being friendly to people. My friendly ways only getting my feelings hurt every day. I had to make a change some how an someway. I will forever be last in other people life especially the one's I put first. When I Finally fell a sleep it was the best sleep I ever got. I had the best sleep until this one particular night.