Self-control

Queen's POV

I would never imagine placing satisfaction and exhaustion in the same sentence but after parking in our driveway, I felt drained but also content! It was like a taste of coffee and creamer blended perfectly in a cup of hot water.

It was past 8 in the evening but the people living next to our apartment were still outside. As we entered our apartment, I saw Lorraine walked directly into her room. Candace is already laying on the sofa with a white face mask on her.

"Do you guys want to eat? I'll order food online!" I called them while tapping on my phone screen.

"I want Japanese siomai with hot sauce, Queen. Thank you!" Lorraine responded followed by the sound of her shower.

"I'll pass, I'm so sleepy!" Candace announced in her groggy voice.

"I'm not hungry too. Send me your draft, Queen. I might forget checking it later." I heard Kate stated from the dining room.

"Awe Kate, you become busy after meeting a man! Later, you will completely forget about me!" I said in a teasing tone. Kate's rich laugh echoed in our place but she did not say a word.

As I entered the dining room, I saw her smiling at something on her phone. I chuckled and pour a glass of water in the fridge. I sat down next to her and turn my attention on my phone. A gentle smile crept on my face as I checked all the photos I got from our trip. There is something about traveling with friends that makes it always pleasurable and fulfilling afterward.

After several minutes, I tap the app on the screen and checked onto my story. I looked at the status bar as it started loading me to my profile. This was a habit I got when I started writing stories. Somehow, whenever I open my phone, I'll subconsciously check my story.

When the screen finally showed me my profile, I could not help buy scowled on what I saw. The rating status of my story was dropped drastically! I opened my notifications and went to the review section. Then I carefully checked the newest reviews posted.

Don45216 posted a two-star review on your story: I have a poem. Hope you read them. Your story is good but you, the author is a prude!

Sunshine7 posted a three-star review on your story: The poem is relatable. You should know what you offer on the table.

MightyJax posted a two-star review on your story: I love the characters but the creator... Blah!

Statistics sometimes is cruel. No matter how many people would give a good rating, it would only take 1 bad rating to drag a rating below the ground. And there were three bad ratings on my story!

I felt a pang of pain struck on me. My chest tightens while I pursed my lips together, subconsciously biting them. Disappointment is an ugly feeling! Moreover, I don't know where to place my dismay! Is it for my failure of meeting their expectations and letting them down? I could not imagine another reason to blame but my lack of skills.

I secretly gather some air to calm my self. Slowly, my right thumb reached on the report button on the corner of the three recent reviews and clicked on it. This platform does not allow anyone to delete a review. We can just report them as abusive and some departments would verify the report. If it were indeed abusive, the post will be taken down automatically.

"What happened to you, Queen?" I heard Kate asked. She must have sensed the sudden changed of my demeanor.

"Oh... Uhm, the story I am reading is so dramatic! I got carried away!" I managed to reason out and drank the whole glass of water. "I'll send you my drafts later, Kate!" I added and then hurriedly walked out heading towards my room. Kate is beaming with happiness, I don't want to ruin her good mood.

Once I'm inside my room, I exhaled my frustration. I took a few more breaths to collected my thoughts. Then I opened my social media account. I hesitated for a while but then managed to type the status under a certain group page where writers and readers are gathered as one community.

"Fellow writers, help me make a bed scene."

I clicked the post button and placed my phone on the edge of my bed. Then I slowly laid next to it until I fall asleep in hope that I would get insights from my post.

A few hours later, I was awakened by the knock on my door. Kate was calling me from the living room.

"Queen! Your mother is on the telephone. They said they can't reach your number." Kate said after I opened the door.

"Oh, my phone must have died. I fell asleep." I said and took the wireless telephone from her hand. I looked at Kate as she frowned at my face. I waited if she had something to say but after a few seconds of staring, she turned her back and walked towards her room.

"Hi, Mom! What's up?" I finally answered the phone.

"Kate, your father wants to know what do you want on your birthday?" my mother said enthusiastically on the other line.

"Mom! It's 3 months away!" I giggled and laugh.

"Well, 17th birthday is special in our family tradition Queen. This is your age of preparation. We will have a big celebration but not as luxurious as your debut. Anyway, this is for you to familiarize our business partners and deals. We will introduce you to some relatives and stockholders of our company during your birthday." I heard my mother explained.

"Can I invite my friends?" I asked her in my slumber state. My eyes are already half-closed and are ready to go back to sleep.

"Of course, dear. Kate and Candace are invited. And also Lorraine. Do you have other friends?" she inquired. I imagined her writing the name of my friends in a pad.

"Uhhm, wait mom... Kate, what's the name of your boyfriend?" I called Kate.

"K-N." she responded. 'What an odd name!' I secretly thought.

"Mom, also include Kate's boyfriend. K-N." I added.

"Alright, anything more?" she asked.

"That's all mom, you can pick the rest" I replied.

"Okay dear, take care of yourself there. We love you!" my mother said in her gentle tone.

"You too, mom! I love you and dad!" I said before I hang up. I placed the telephone on the dining area and saw Candace on the couch, completely sleeping. Her face mask was already on the floor.

I glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was still 10 pm. I went to the dining area and saw the food that I ordered on the table. There was a sticky note tap on it.

"I had eaten half of your fries... I traded them to my 3 siomai." - Raine

I sat down and eat silently. After a while, Kate came to the dining table wearing her nightgown. She stared at me again for a long time.

"What story were you reading, Queen?" she finally asked.

"Huh?" I looked at her completely confused. I was not following any story anymore other than the one I have been publishing! Then I remembered that I did tell her that I was reading a story before I fell asleep.

"Ah, it was nothing Kate. It's a random story I saw." I said while trying to mask the awkwardness of my voice.

"Nothing... is not enough to convince me, Queen." Kate replied in a serious tone.

"Well, there are a few bad reviews I got on my story." I finally told her.

"Bad reviews exist not only on books, Queen. They are in restaurants, hotels, airlines, and everywhere. Don't get affected by it. What you need to do is focus on the things that you will be able to control. Positive and negative remarks are always there for us to learn to control our behavior. Remember two things; your condition and your decision. Now, how will you cope with your behavior should depend on your decision, Queen, and not on the condition that you are in. When you learn to control your behavior, no one can ruin you." Kate's wise advice rang to my ear. I could not even determine whether she is lecturing me. Her voice is too soft but the words were harsh.

"You are right, Kate! Thanks!" I said after pondering for a while.

"Some people are just waiting for you to behave badly before they strike and pull you down. Don't give them the opportunity that they are anticipating. That's how you will defeat these types of people, Queen. Self-control." Kate added and pat my head like I am a child. I looked at her and she smiled at me. I grinned back at her before I cleaned the table and went to my room.