Leaving Town

I looked from the rancher who'd begged me to be one of his hired guns to the father of the girl, who the fantasized thinking of, had kept me up all night with a raging urge for release. The tension to possess the girl had not eased any with daylight and now it mounted to an even higher pitch as the very thing I wanted was being offered to me practically on a silver platter.

As much as my raging masculine point of being wanted to do the talking it fell short of overcoming the cognitive higher functioning of my mind that was shying back from the situation rapidly. "So let me get this straight. You two think that I want this man's daughter enough to become the number one target in a shooting gallery that's about to bust open all around us?"

Ralph was gritting his teeth, but nodded anyway. Both men were decidedly beginning to look deflated.

They had no idea how much I wanted the girl.

Looking at Pedro Martinez I confessed privately to liking what I saw of him. He was a man about to be overrun by a pack of wild dogs that had no respect for anything weaker than them and he was desperately trying to do the right thing not only to avert that disaster, but also find his daughter a mate that didn't move or function purely for the sake of money.

I glanced at Ralph. He was in a similar position, only he didn't know it yet.

As soon as the little guys were all gone Max Emerson would turn on the others and Ralph was the most likely to go first. Predators always picked on, the more noble hearted ones first, because after they were gone the common decencies of justice and law were far more easily manipulated.

There was very little I could do for either of these men as whatever they thought of me and my abilities I was in reality still only one man.

"Sir, I want no woman, not willing to submit herself to me of her own free will. I appreciate the offer, along with all that would come with it as I've heard from others that your place is quite spectacular, but my answer is no."

Pedro looked into my eyes deeply and said, "You tame the horses? That is what you do here in town, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's what I do, but a woman simply ain't a horse. A horse has a spirit and with the proper discipline it can be mastered, but in addition to a spirit a woman also has a mind. If her mind isn't willing to do what you propose then her spirit will eventually break and I don't break the spirits of any creature I tame."

Pedro nodded, "I respect you for this Sir. I must now confess that I would've loved to have you for a husband to my daughter."

I nodded respectfully to him and the two men got up and left.

I kept a close eye on the next proceedings. The old man left town and soon after so did Ralph Eklund.

He went in the direction of his spread and Pedro went in the direction of his. It had actually hurt to turn the two men down, but it was for the best.

I watched carefully as the eavesdropper, who had been spying in on our conversation near the livery made a beeline in the opposite direction out of town. Max Emerson's spread was out there and Curly was one of his men.

Soon it would be common knowledge that I had turned down a golden opportunity to have the woman that every man in a 100 mile radius wished for an opportunity to lay his hands upon. They would think me the fool, but they had no knowledge of me to know that my plan went a bit deeper in terms of application.

Let them all think what they wanted to. I knew that the stakes involved in this valley amounted to all-out war and the best way to manipulate a victorious outcome was through deception.

I may only be one man, but the truth of that was that one man on his own was better than an army at times. The only question left to me to come up with an answer for was if all this was worth it?

Time would tell. Bodies were about to start falling and all that occupied my mind in the idle moments as I worked with the horses in the corral was what it would be like to be inside of Sessina Martinez as I rode her instead of the mount that I sat upon.

I guess as long as there was a chance for that to occur one day, then all this would be worth it. My empty and randomly beating about life had a purpose to it for once, even if all it turned out to be was me finally cashing in my chips.

************

It was getting dark and I was all but done with my work in the corrals behind the livery, when I caught the drift of a smell I'd only experienced once before. The smell of the girl, who I'd been daydreaming about all day.

I turned my head and saw her standing there by the corral posts. She couldn't have been there long, but that she had gotten so close without me noticing sooner than I had was impressive.

I went back to work and soon the horse I was working with was done and I let her go. Walking over to the fence the girl stood up against I leaned back against it just off to the side of her saying nothing.

Shadows were forming across the land and finally I said, "You better get on home before it gets too dark."

She said nothing. Then she did, "Why did you refuse my father's offer? I know you desire me. You defended me at great peril to yourself before. You could have me and one day my father's Ranchero. It is a lot is it not?"

Smiling, I shook my head, "It's nothing if you can't hold onto it Senorita."

"I know this, but they say that you are good with a gun. You killed that man without hesitation or even remorse. Such a man would make them think twice about attacking us."

"That eager for me to lay you across your bed and have at you Senorita?"

"No. In fact, I hate the very idea of experiencing your touch upon me. Everything that you would do to me."

"Then why are you here?"

"I love my brother and father very much. I... I would do anything to keep them alive."

"Very commendable of you honey, but if you are the punchline in a contract made to keep them alive, I need and want more than a willing martyr that spreads her thighs for me, but envisions taking a dagger and snapping it off inside my heart every time I make use of her. Comprende?"

"Yes. I cannot give you what you want, but I will give you my body and I will serve your every need if you were to choose to protect my family and accept my father's offer."

"That's not good enough, sweetheart. I appreciate the offer as well as the risk that you've taken to come into town and give it to me, but my answer is still no. I'll be leaving town in the morning."

"You're leaving?" Her voice had real desperation in it now and I glanced to her.

Tears were making their way down her cheeks. Breathlessly she said, "I could try to do more. To…. to open my heart."

She was simply irresistible. In a way I loved the woman already.

Anyone who could put their own needs and desires aside as she was doing was worth saving. Swinging around to face her I reached through the fence and pulled her closer against it with my hands splayed across the indent of her small waist and deeply curved in back.

I let one hand fully take possession of the small of her back, as I held her to the fence tightly, even as I let my other hand slide out over her lusciously appointed hip to then ease down and move across her perfectly proportioned heart shaped rear. My fingers flexed and the tips of my fingers indented the material of her dress and undergarments causing them to slide into the cleft of her bottom I squeezed even further still and for a moment held one cheek of her bottom captive in my grasp even as our faces were but inches apart.

In the growing darkness I beheld the startled shyness of a girl that had never been touched as I was so boldly doing right now. For all her fire and hot passion she was a virgin through and through as could be and that made me ache to possess her all the more.

Her breathing was rapid and her expressive eyes were the size of dinner plates. Leaning forward I wetly claimed her full lips already poised open from her rapid breathing and swept my tongue with possessive vigor into the moist cave of her mouth that actually tasted of something sweet.

Our lips sealed together passionately even as I explored her now fully open to me mouth. I felt and then heard her release of shocked surprise and then most surprising of all, her surrender.

She slumped against the fence and her mouth was a new home for my mouth to openly plunder and I did, enslaving myself entirely in the process. I was as lost in the kiss as she was and the urge to never let go was as strong as it had ever been in my life.

In a moment then her lips were gone and my hold on her back and bottom broken. As my eyes opened out of the shocked need to regain possession of what I had just been experiencing with her I instead felt a hit occur to the entire side of my face.

The force of the blow was so strong that it caused my head to slam into the nearby corral post that was to the other side of my head. Reeling from the pain I nonetheless drew my gun out from force of habit and blinking madly I looked about for the source of the attack.

Rapidly coming to my senses, I took in the reality that there was nobody else around. It was just me and the girl.

I had never been slapped by a woman before in my life and now because of the indignity of it I lost control of my temper. Holstering my gun I somersaulted over the fence as my face still burned from the unexpected hit.

She was backing away fast and breathing even harder than she had been before. I stopped my advance upon her.

Breathing hard myself, I regained control or at least I tried to. Feeling able enough to speak, I said, "So help me if you were mine, I'd put you over my knee and spank the living daylights out of you for that! What do you call that, what you just did?"

She remained silent and entirely shocked looking as she gazed at me uncertainly. I pointed to the fence behind me "If you could return a kiss as you were just beginning to do and not haul off and slap me like that I would stay. You come here offering me your whole body as payment for services and I test you out only to find that you're nothing but a spoiled little brat not capable of keeping her own word makes me want nothing to do with you! Now get out of here before you worry your father anymore to death than you already have!"

With an emotional sob she turned and fled. Shaking from anger, but even more so from denied passion I listened to her horse riding away in the darkness. I'd be true to my word and leave town in the morning.

Reaching a hand up to my face I felt at the burn still to be felt from her handprint. The girl could hit!

Shaking my head ruefully I acknowledged my own culpability in the situation. She was a virgin and I had simply overwhelmed her.

She'd overwhelmed me. Groaning, I shifted the rock hard protrusion of my maleness behind my pants, but there's simply just wasn't enough room for it and me to be comfortable together.

I simply could not wait to bury myself in the girl and feel all the passion that she possessed clamped down hard all about me in orgasm. Not being able to stop the inevitable, I opened my pants up in the darkness and left my shaft go free.

Completely unaided with just imagined imagery of what she would be like my shaft began spurting out the essence of life that I carried even as I gripped onto the fence post with one hand, groaning as my world was rocked by one of the most intense orgasms I'd ever had.

My orgasm complete I let my forehead rest against the post. The next time I came it would be inside of her.

I made myself that promise even as a niggling fear took over in my heart. Would I be able to protect her and her family?

I hadn't done that once before for the love of my life. Would this time be different?

In the past, I'd been a man of faith, now I was just a drifter going through life. What chance did I have of success if I didn't even have God on my side?

I looked up at the sky and for the first time since the day I had come home from the Civil War and found Macy as I had in our home, I gave a serious thought to the reality of where I was spiritually headed in life. Ever since that day I had found Macy I had cursed God for what I had seen as Him allowing evil to happen that He could have somehow prevented.

I had been content with the knowledge that one day I would go to hell for my actions against God and man. But even as that may still be the case for me what was I going to do if I wasn't enough to handle the current situation?

What if I wasn't enough to keep the girl and her family safe?

For the first time since Macy and I had been together, I actually cared about something and the reality of that was that I now stood to suffer the loss of something all over again. I didn't want that.

What would God think of me if I asked Him for help? What if not having God's help cost me in the present what I'd come to already care so intensely for?

These thoughts plagued me the rest of the night, but above all of them was the growing question of what if what had happened in the past had really not been God's fault? What if in fact it had been my fault?

If so, seeking forgiveness from God put aside, would I ever be able to forgive myself? It was a question I did not know the answer to.

Why had it taken me six years to even consider asking the question? The only answer to that I found was because maybe the truth was something that I had never wanted to accept.

In a way it had been far easier to just blame God. I struggled with the truth all night and as I packed my gear up in the morning I did something I hadn't done in a very long time.

I got down on my knees and prayed. Looking out at the sun coming up across the land that was about to receive its share of spilt blood, I said "God I... I'm sorry. If you could... please forgive me... I'd really appreciate it. In general, I'm sorry for everything and I ask for forgiveness in Jesus Name."

Then, as tears came to my eyes as I felt a peace settle over me that I hadn't felt in over six years I brokenly admitted, "And one other thing God, if you could, if you would... please help me forgive myself."

I stayed there on my knees for a while and then I got up and stowed my gear away on my horse. I really didn't have much.

The last thing I did before I left town was go into the general store and buy a small Bible. The storekeeper looked at me strangely, but then smiled as if he saw something greatly positive in the moment.

If he only knew that the last Bible I had owned had been burnt by my own hand along with what was left of the body of my negro wife he might not be as cheerful with his countenance toward me. If only it was the burning of a Bible that I had on my hands to atone for.

I was a very bloody man. Whether deserved or not I had put an entire community to the torch and those directly responsible for the death of my wife, well, I... I had done things to them that I would forever be ashamed of.

I deserved the justice of death a hundred times over and yet God had kept me alive despite my many sins. Maybe it was time to do some good in the world again.

The only problem about that in this community was in order to bring peace about the place a good many of its residents needed to disappear one way or the other and if it came down to it that was just what I would do, one hired gun hand and greedy ranch owner at a time.