Darwin's award

"So...I'm dead?"

I sigh heavily and nodded.

"But I don't want to be dead! I'm too young!" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me with a frown.

"Well then you probably shouldn't have drunken bleach."

"How should I have known that it can kill people?"

Oh God how stupid are you?!

"It's written on the bottle."

"No it isn't."

I grabbed the bright blue bottle from the bathroom floor and looked at it.

There was written in large letters:

Can cause damage to skin and eyes!Do not ingest!

"See there it is." I said while rolling my eyes.

"Nope. It doesn't say death."

Seriously! How the hell did she even make it to the age of seventeen with no brain?

I massaged the bridge of my nose and than said: "Well anyways you are dead now. So could you please just go into the light?"

"No I don't want to!" She yelled while stomping her foot on the ground.

"Well you don't really have any other options so..."

"I'm way too young and pretty to die! You can't do this!"

I looked at the corpse in front of me.

Her skin was a pale blue and around her mouth was a bright red irritation, that almost looked like she had burnt it. She was also laying in a puddle of puke and piss.

"Yeah right.... really pretty." I said while turning to her ghost.

"Can't you make me alive again?"

"No that's not how it works."

"Oh come on. Please." She tried to convince me by making puppy eyes at me.

"I already said that it doesn't work."

"Oh my God you are so fricking useless! Is there anybody else that I can talk to?"

"You mean like my manager?"

She nodded.

"Yes Karen there is a manger but she is also a Karen so... good luck with that."

"My name is Sarah you asshole!" She complained and then added "Look I just don't want to be dead okay?"

"Yeah. Nobody really wants to be dead but the thing is that there is no respawn button in real life."

"This is so fucking stupid!"

Yes just like you! I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't say it out loud.

"Please just go into the light. I promise that it is really cool there."

She groaned and pulled a grimace.

It seemed that she was thinking about it and I was fairly sure that I could even hear the gears turning in her head.

"Fine but if it's boring over there I will come back and hound you."

I put on a fake smile and said: "Great so we have a deal?"

"Yeah what ever."

She rolled her eyes one last time and then finally stepped into the tunnel that had slowly formed on one of the walls.

When she was half way through she turned around.

Before she could even say a single word I closed my end of the tunnel with a flick of my wrist and then sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

Why are some people so stubborn when it comes to dying? It's not like it's the end for them.