Poison Testing or Tasting?

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

*SFX*

[Gamer]

{System}

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--1000 years--

It is 7,000 years have passed since I came to Apeiron. I am also getting a lot stronger than last time. And I am still getting more muscles and my size is getting bigger as all of my stats skyrocketed. *Sigh* I need to do something about my size.

As I am doing my usual thing, grinding stats, I came up with a plan to get more skills.

{Alex, what are you doing?}, said Sys as she uses her usual stink eye to me (even though I can't see her, she does).

"I am just cooking something.", I said as I am continuing to make something in the cauldron.

{What are you cooking?}, said Sys as she gets a bad premonition in her heart.

{'Oh my god, he is making something again. I don't like the sound of it. Not even a bit. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid again.'}, she thought as she watches me like seeing an idiot doing something stupid again. She thought about those stupid things I did in the past years.

"Poison.", I said as I am continuing brewing and cooking the poison in the cauldron.

{Uhhh, why are you making a poison?}, said Sys as she is getting more bad premonition in her heart.

"I am gonna eat and drink it.", I said as I continue brewing and cooking the poison while nodding my head at my plans.

{WHY WILL YOU EATING AND DRINKING IT!! ARE YOU AN IDIOT!!} said Sys as she is scolding me like a mother to a child do.

Yup!

I am gonna drink and ate poisons like drinking water and eating normal food.

Well, folks, this is what happens when you are alive for how many years, trapped in a planet with an A. I for 10,000 years, they are getting the tendency to do stupid things and that includes me.

Well, it is for getting a poison resistant skill after all and it is not a bad decision to make (I think so?). It is not like I don't do it for sh*ts and fun right? (Author: He does it for sh*ts and fun.)

Well Sys is as usual, is a worrywart, she worries about me too much but that is also why I respect her as not just an A. I but also my friend. I remember how she scolded me when I tried piercing myself, cutting myself, jump on a volcano's lava pool, and many more. I appreciate her worry to me though but I need to do it for science (for sh*ts and fun!!)!!

As I listen to Sys scolding me, I am now finished in making the poison. I arrange it properly in the dining table like preparing a normal meal.

{Wait, why is the poison smelled like cooked food? And the appearance is like a cooked food too and the drinks are normal too.}, Sys said as she smelled the salivating aroma that spreads in the kitchen room. Don't even think about asking me why she can smell that. I already stop asking questions about anything Sys does.

"Well, if I am gonna drink and ate the poisons, I might as well make the poison more appetizing and I am a food critic and my standards in food are very high.", I said as I smugly look at Sys (her robot).

{What's with that smug face of yours and food critic? Really? Food critic my ass!! Enough of that, why are you treating poison as food!? It is called poison for a reason, Alex! P. O. I. S. O. N.! Poison Alex, Poison!! What is in the poison anyway?}, said Sys as she is getting work up to me.

"Well, the liquid poison is extracted from the dangerous plant leaves in the world like poison oak, poison sumac.....", I said as I list the poisonous plants leaves in the world.

Sys feeling cold as she listens to my lists of plant leaves ( Even though she doesn't have a body.).

I tell her how I get it in the forest and how I am having fun with it.

{W-what about the meat, it is normal meat right?}, said Sys as she is hoping for something. Well, I am gonna crush that hope of hers.

"Well, remember how I ask you to get the meat of the most poisonous animal of my world?", I said as I instead of answering her, I question her instead. I remember what I did at that time.

Sys hearing that is getting a more bad premonition.

{Well, I remember it, you said you want to experiment with those subjects. Wait, you mean to say you use those meats of those subjects to your poison?}, Sys said as she is already guessing where the meat comes from.

"Well I didn't lie about experimenting it, of course, I just didn't tell the whole story. I left some other meat for this occasion.", I said as I nodded back to her.

{What is the meat of the poison? There are many poisonous meat subjects that I get for you at that time.}, said Sys as she pales what meat I will eat today.

"Well, the meat is most not definitely toads and frogs. It is disgusting even if it is me. I most definitely get it from.... ", I said as I said the list of meats.

As Sys listens, she gets paler by the second.

{Wait, how did you make the food appetizing in the first place?}, Sys said as she looks at me for answers.

"It is my maximized Lvl. cooking skills, I just treat poison as an ingredient and Voila, I got an appetizing poison and ready to be eaten and drink.", I said as I represent it in front of her (her robot).

"Well, I am gonna eat and drink it now. Bon appetit.", I said as I eat and drink the foods.

The foods in the dining table look like a normal meal but in fact, it is one of the most dangerous meals to have.

The poison drinks look like green and black tea and the poison meats look like a normal steak, fish fillets, and soup dishes.

I made it look like that because I was bored and I want it to look like that (for sh*ts and fun!!).

Ahhh, the miracle of cooking, even poison can make it look like a normal food to eat and drink when in fact it is poison all along.

Imagine what will happen if a normal person eats and drink it. He/she will die blissfully and painfully at the same time. Blissfully because my poison food is so delicious that they will have foodgasms to the point it will look like what happens in a certain anime (Shokugeki no soma, anyone?). Painfully because he/she will die slowly but surely in a painful death from 'Food Poisoning'.

Do you get it? Because you know, the Food is also poison and then I said they will die from 'Food Poisoning'. Ugh, whatever, I should stop doing 'Poisonous puns'.

Ahhh, the miracle of cooking is so beautiful a skill to hold and yet so terrifying. It is very beautiful and terrifying indeed. I said it twice because it is important to note here.

Anyways, as I ate and drank the poison. I felt like having a foodgasm but I didn't. It is very weird to feel like that. It is a Gamer's mind at work here people.

"Oh sh*t, this drink is too 'poisonous' a drink, literally!!", I said as I said my 'poisonous puns' as a joke here people.

"Oh sh*t, this meat is soo delicious that it is too 'poisonous' to eat!", I said as I continue my 'poisonous puns'.

[Due to a specific action, the 'Poison Resistance' skill is created.]

[Poison Resistance (Active) Lvl.1 0.97%: A skill that resists poison and disease that are foreign to the body. Passively resist poison by 2%.]

"I am really gonna die eating these if I were a normal person which is thankfully I am not.", I said as I finish eating and drinking the poisons. I got the skill too, nice!

{*Giggle, e-enough *Giggle*of that, are you really human?}, said Sys as she tried to stop laughing at my puns and starting to get serious about me.

"Well, I am surely human. It says here on my–", I said as I suddenly lost my consciousness.

POV Sys

'Well, he is unconscious. That is what he gets for trying to do something stupid like drinking and eating poison like normal. I ask him that question because seriously, does anybody, anybody at all does what he does. I seriously want to know what's in his brain.

I really wish he should rest for a little bit. He barely sleeps over the years. Right now, he sleeps once per week.

Sure, his powers make him able to not sleep at all but that doesn't mean he shouldn't sleep. I keep on telling him but he wouldn't budge. So this is a great opportunity to let him sleep. I think he will be asleep for about for few days on tops and paralyze for a few days more. That should give him more time for rest.'

I thought as I pick him up from the chair and carrying him towards his room.

{Good night, Alex}, I said as I put him to his bed in his bedroom.

[Name: Alex Bourne

Race: Human

Occupation: The Gamer

Title: The Loner, The God of Cooking, The God of Crafting, The God of Martial Arts, The God of Weapons, Lucky Bastard, A Fool

Level: lvl1 (10.00%)]

[HP: 1,024,443,600/1,024,443,600

MP: 0/384,163,020]

[Strength: 8,536,998 (+42,684,990 Martial Arts and 'The God of Martial Arts passive)

Vitality: 8,537,030 (+42,685,150 Martial Arts and 'The God of Martial Arts passive)

Agility: 8,536,986 (+42,684,930 Martial Arts and 'The God of Martial Arts passive)

Dexterity: 8,536,597 (+59,756,179 Martial Arts, 'The God of Crafting' and 'The God of Martial Arts passive)

Intelligence: 8,536,956 (+17,073,912 meditation passive)

Wisdom: 8,537,003 (+17,074,006 meditation passive)

Luck: 8,535,984 (+17,071,968 Lucky Bastard passive)

[Points: 10

Cash: 10,000 $]

[Passive skills:

Gamer body Lvl Max

Gamer mind Lvl Max

Crafting Lvl. Max

Cooking Lvl. Max

Cleaning Lvl Max

Martial Arts Lvl. Max

Weapons Mastery Lvl. Max

Physical Endurance Lvl. Max

Pain Resistance Lvl. Max

Fire Resistance Lvl. Max

Programming Lvl. Max]

[Active skills:

Massage Lvl. Max

Observe Lvl. Max

Fool's Act Lvl. Max

Future Reading Lvl Max]

[Passive / Active skills:

Meditation Lvl. Max]

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