Sometimes You Need To Be Held

My blood was boiling. How could Zeus fucking Grace not care? I couldn't say anything wrong, though, because I refused to make things even worse for Jason. He sat at the table, forcing himself to smile and laugh at my jokes. Bless my mother's soul, she tried her best to keep the conversation upbeat and not mention anything that could remind Jason of his situation with his father. Still, whenever the conversation leaned toward family anecdotes, a shadow would fall across Jason's gorgeous face, which made me angrier.

"...so, I had spoken to Percy on the phone before his field trip to the Metropolitan Museum. Next thing I know, he's standing in my kitchen, hugging me, saying I didn't sound happy on the phone," Mom said, and I smiled.

I remembered how I had looked at the cabs streaming down Fifth Avenue while my class was eating lunch on the steps of the Museum. I remember I thought back to how tired and almost defeated Mom had sounded. I remembered I barely hesitated as I made a beeline for the street, hailing a cab to East One-hundred-and-fourth and First. I had heard Mr. Brunner call after me, but I ignored him.

"Of course, it didn't take long for his teacher to call, and I had to send him right back to the Museum." Jason smiled at me, albeit a little sadly.

"Mama's boy," he teased affectionately, slightly shaking his head. I opened my mouth to argue, but Mom cut me off.

"He is," she affirmed with a grin.

"Hey," I protested.

"Oh, honey," she said sweetly. "Everyone knows you are, including you. Besides, I don't see it as a bad thing. Do you?" she directed at Jason, and he chuckled as he shook his head no. "And being the Mama's boy you are, it takes an exceptional person to make you want to move out," she smiled warmly at Jason, which made him blush slightly.

"So, you want to move in with me?" he asked me shyly, making my mother smile more.

"Of course, I do," I answered, taking his hand to brush my thumb over his knuckles.

"I'd say he'll be an idiot if he didn't go through with it," Mom chirped, unhelpfully.

"Is your dad on board, as well?" he asked hopefully.

"Well, yeah," I said with a shrug.

"Then why haven't you said anything?" he nearly shrieked.

"Okay," I started, raising my hands in defence. "To be quite honest, I wasn't going to say anything until you told your family about us, because I didn't want to open the door to one of your family members and have them call the cops on me because they thought I was robbing you." He opened his mouth to argue but closed it quickly when I gave him a pointed look. I then turned to my mother.

"Is this why you asked me to come this weekend?" I asked. "To convince me to move in with him? Because that's not necessary. I'm already sold, and since he just told his family, it's a big possibility if not a certainty." Mom looked down at the table.

"Actually, I had something else to tell you," she said, grabbing our plates and taking them to the sink.

"What?" I asked after she went silent for a while.

"Well, here goes nothing," she said nervously, turning back to us. "I'm dating someone new."

"Who?" I shrieked. Jason took my hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it, trying to calm me. Who was this man trying to steal my mother from me? I was not going to let another big, fat bag of trash treat her the way Gabe did.

"His name is Paul," she answered, determination burning in her eyes. "He was your High school English teacher."

"Mr. Blofis?" I asked, stunned. I thought back to the good-looking man with the slightly overgrown salt-and-pepper hair. He had been one of the teachers I had liked. He was sincere and genuine. He understood my difficulties with my dyslexia and ADHD. He always tried to motivate me and be supportive. He was not a trash bag by the slightest. He was decent.

Piper had once gotten him to divulge a lot of his personal life in class, in true Piper fashion. No one could say no to her. Not when she flashed her kaleidoscope eyes at you. Paul had never been married. Not that he didn't want to, he just hadn't found the right woman yet, is what he had said.

I looked at my mother, trying to picture them together. They would make a pretty good couple. Gods know my mother needed a decent man in her life for once. Nothing against my father, he's a good man, but I can admit he's not exactly marriage material.

"Yes," she nodded, before quickly adding, "he makes me happy, Percy."

"It's okay, Mom," I said, getting up and pulling her into a hug. "From what I remember, he was a good man. If your happy, I'm happy," I said, kissing the top of her head. "He sets one foot wrong though," I said, holding her at arm's length. "You tell me, and I'll kick his ass." Mom burst out laughing.

"Trust me, honey, he sets one foot wrong, and I'll kick his ass myself," she said, wiping a happy tear from her cheek. I started laughing.

"Somehow, I don't doubt that, do you?" I asked Jason.

"Not one bit," he chuckled.

"Oh, and we're all going out for lunch tomorrow," she said, turning back to the sink full of dishes. "Paul wants to spend some time with my darling son." She stressed the word 'darling,' and I understood her meaning very well. I was to be on my best behaviour and be kind to Paul.

"Of course, he wants to spend time with me," I shrugged. "I'm an amazing person and a fucking delight." Both Jason and my mother snorted in unison.

"Sure you are, honey," Mom said, tapping me on the shoulder affectionately.

"Haha," I replied humourlessly, which caused both of them to laugh even more at my expense.

"Anyway, I'm going to finish up the dishes," Mom said. "Why don't you two go to the living room and pick a movie?" she asked, and I kissed her on the cheek.

"Will do, and thanks for a wonderful dinner," I said as I made my way towards the living room, pulling Jason along with me.

"Thanks for a lovely meal, Missus Jackson," he said over his shoulder. Mom threw a wet dishrag at his head. It connected with the side of his face.

"I told you to call me Sally," she scolded, waving a finger at Superman, and I laughed at his shocked expression. I picked up the rag, throwing it back to her. She quickly caught it and turned to the sink full of dishes.

"Come on," I told Jason, pulling him out of his stupor and into the living room. I quickly flipped through our small DVD collection. I came across the one I was looking for and presented it to Jason for his approval.

"Newsies?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's my mom's favourite," I explained. "I've lost count how many times I've have watched it with her."

"I've never watched it," he confessed with a shrug. "Is it any good?"

"Let me put it this way," I smirked. "Most people love Christian Bale because he was Batman. I love Christian Bale because he was pretty hot as Jack Kelly. This movie is probably the reason I turned gay."

"You think Christian Bale's hot?" he asked with a chuckle.

"You don't?" I asked incredulously.

"I guess he's just not my type," he shrugged. My jaw dropped as I stared at him. "His features have always been a bit too sharp for my liking." He took a step closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Maybe if he had a slightly turned-up nose, like this beautiful nose..." he tapped my nose with a finger, and I chuckled, "...I would have found him very attractive."

"You know what worries me about you not finding him attractive?" I asked, and he frowned.

"What?" he asked perplexed.

"If you don't find him attractive, do you find yourself attractive?" I asked, and he blushed, looking down at his shoes. "Because you have a lot of the same features he does, babe."

"It'd be so weird if I found someone who looks like me hot," he mumbled.

"Jason, it would not be weird," I insisted, hooking a finger under his chin to make him look me in the eye. "You are beautiful, fucking gorgeous, and you really should know that. It's not enough that I see it. I want you to look in the mirror and see it yourself." He squirmed in my hold, trying to look anywhere but me. I didn't let him.

"I'm not beautiful, Percy," he said deflated. "I have a scar on my face," he referred to the cute little scar on his lip — the very scar I loved to lick whenever I kissed him.

"It gives you character," I dismissed the thought. "It doesn't take away from how beautiful you are; it only adds to it. There's a story behind that scar, and that makes you that much more interesting. Scars show that you've have lived, that you weren't put up on a pedestal and treated like a porcelain doll."

"My eyes are fucked," he countered, having lost his scar defense. "I'm almost legally blind. I'm useless without my contacts."

"So, that's why you can't see how drop-dead gorgeous you are?" I asked, and he blushed a deep crimson.

"I...I'm just..." he wanted to say something, something important, that much I knew. It seemed like he couldn't find the words, though. He let out a frustrated sigh as he pushed himself out of my arms, turning away from me. "I'm just not good enough," he mumbled. I saw the pain those words brought him, and I knew what his reason was for believing them. Those words hurt me just as much as they hurt him. I couldn't bite my tongue anymore.

"Your dad's a dick," I said as I gently wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"Percy, please don't." He sounded so broken.

"Just listen," I whispered into his ear. "He never told you he loved you, or that he was proud of you. He never treated you like a father should, and that was wrong of him." He sighed, letting his head fall back onto my shoulder. "But acceptance of oneself doesn't come from other people." I moved one of my hands to rest it right over his heart. "It comes from within, babe. Only you can give people the power to hurt you."

"Where'd you hear that?" he asked softly.

"My dad sent me to a shrink after...well, Gabe." I turned him around. "We both have a lot of stuff to work through, Jase, but we have each other to help us through it." He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I'm trying, really trying, to find the value in myself, Jase. I want to be the man you deserve," I confessed. "Will you please try to find the value in yourself, too?" My shoulder shook as he nodded yes.

"I love you, Percy."

"I love you too, Jason."

"Okay, boys. Have you decided?" Mom asked as she walked into the room with two large bowls of freshly popped popcorn. Jason snapped out of my arms, wiping the tears from his eyes. Mom gave me her 'What did you do?' look, and I pleaded her to drop it with mine. She did.

I walked back to the DVD's and held up Newsies for her approval. She beamed and almost dropped the popcorn in her excitement. She gave one of the bowls to Jason before she plopped down on the armchair with the other bowl. I popped the DVD in and went to take my seat on the couch.

I pulled Jason down with me. He slotted in between my legs quite comfortably, falling back against my chest. I pulled the blanket from the back of the couch to cover us. The movie started playing, and I held Jason.

I just held him.