Roadside Confessions

"She says she loves you," Jason said as he got off the phone. I pointed towards the glove compartment.

"You're DJ today." He raised an eyebrow. I didn't feel like my heart was in it today. He slowly inserted the cable into my phone.

"You okay?" he asked, scrolling through my music library until he found whatever he was looking for. The screen dimmed as Ruth B's Lost Boy started, which I recognised as the beginning of Jason's favourite playlist on my phone. I usually only listened to it when I felt depressed, so it seemed a little odd on the ears. I didn't know what I was. I was beyond frustrated; that's about all I knew.

I didn't know what kind of game Jason was playing. I knew I didn't like it much, and I knew the whole thing about our emotional relationship, not moving fast enough was complete bullshit. How did I know? When talking about essential attributes like our relationship, Jason had always looked me straight in the eye.

The first time he spun his excuse, though, he looked at my face, yes, but he very pointedly refused to meet my eyes. He hasn't met my eyes any time it was brought up either. So why didn't he want to have sex? Although, he's been just as hard as I've been in all our brief encounters. So he must want it just as bad as me, right? Then why the fuck has he stopped me every single fucking time.

"Percy, slow down!" I heard his panicked voice. I was pulled back to reality and realised that I had let my foot get very heavy on the gas pedal. I removed my foot and nursed the brake pedal until I fell right below the speed limit. "What's up with you?" Jason asked at my side, his hand finding perch on my thigh.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked, and I felt Jason's confusion in the silence that followed. I gave him a quick glance before fixing my eyes back on the road. "That's part of the problem, right?" I explained. "That there was still a lot we didn't know about each other," I said, thinking back to his excuses. "So, what do you wanna know?"

"Well, you've only told me about four tattoos. The trident for your dad, the 'Thanks Jason' for me..." he began, and a quick glance revealed that the thought of the tattoo on my pulse still made him blush, even if only slightly. "..., the map on your back and the phrase on your ribs for your mom," he said, and I nodded.

"You know why I got it on my ribs?" I asked, quickly glancing over, smiling at the mere thought of my mother.

"Tell me," he said, slightly squeezing my thigh.

"I put her tattoo on my ribs because she's the queen of my heart." Jason smiled softly at me as Jeff Buckley's Satisfied Mind started. "In fact, she is the only woman that will ever get that close to my heart, so she deserves to be right over it, right?"

"You really are such a mama's boy..." he said, shaking his head, but an affectionate smile graced his lips.

"With a mother like mine, it's hard not to be," I defended with a chuckle. "You'll see. After this weekend, you'll constantly want to go to my mother's as well." He chuckled too.

"Okay, what about the anchor so suitably labelled Sailor on your shoulder?" he asked, the mirth in his voice clearly audible. "I remember the guys on your team calling you Sailor when we played against you in high school. So I'm guessing there's a connection." I gulped.

"You sure you wanna know?" I asked, hands tightening on the wheel. "You're in 'horny details of my past' territory." I felt his hand on my thigh, tighten its grip.

"Well, then, you better continue," he grit out flatly. I took a deep breath.

"Okay, so you already know I was a bit of a manwhore in high school." I could practically hear him grinding his teeth. "Anyway, we kind of had an unofficial team slut. You know, like a guy we'd..." I tried to find the least offensive way to state it, "...kind of pass around. Now please just remember that this was while I was still working for Gabe. So nothing meant anything to me."

"If you tell me you were that unofficial team slut, I swear I'm gonna kill someone," he said in a dangerous tone.

"No, it wasn't me. Or at least I never got fucked by anyone in the team," I said, trying to reassure Jason by squeezing his hand on my thigh. "I did the fucking." He huffed at that, and I realised how that sounded. "Well, I guess there were two unofficial team sluts then, the one that fucked everyone, me, and the one who got fucked by everyone." He didn't look impressed at all. "Anyway, it was Will."

"As in Solace?" he asked, quite shocked. I knew why he was shocked. Will came across as well-mannered and proper, the sophisticated son of a doctor, aspiring to become one himself. He had a 4.0 GPA and the perfect college transcripts. You'd never expect him to have some real freaky fetishes like being doubled, but I guess still waters run deep, and that's where the devil roams.

"Yeah, as in Solace. Trust me, he works hard and plays even harder." I answered. "So I was in Austin for a client the summer before senior year, and I finished with my client early," I said stiffly, bracing for questions about this client. None came.

"So I gave Will a call. I was bored, and I just wanted to kill some time before my flight the next morning...oh," I said, slapping his thigh to get his attention, which was stupid because I already had it. "I hate flying, by the way," I felt like I should share that little fact since he supposedly thinks we are behind on getting to know each other. He chuckled slightly. "So back to me and Will, we went out drinking and got plastered."

"Will lives in Austin?" he asked. Of all the questions I was prepared to answer, that wasn't on my list.

"Ummm...yeah, his mom's a country singer down there, so that's where he spends his summers. His dad's in New York, so that's why he went to school here," I answered, and Jason nodded as he indicated for me to continue. Somehow I hadn't expected him to be so calm about the whole story.

"So when I woke up, Will was next to me naked and there, on his lower back, was a tramp stamp saying 'Hello there, Sailor.'" Jason actually started laughing.

"You're not serious," he breathed. "I'll have to look out for it next time in the showers."

"You won't find it," I said, and I swear Jason actually pouted. "His parents made him remove it before he came back to school."

"I honestly don't blame them. So, your tattoo?" Jason urged me to continue.

"Right, so apparently while we were out, we couldn't get into one of the bars, so I convinced the bouncer I was a marine finally on leave after six months at sea, and then he let us in," 5SOS's Amnesia started on the speakers.

"And then Will started calling you Sailor," Jason concluded, and I nodded.

"I honestly can't even remember getting the tattoos," I said, actually trying and failing.

"So if Will had his removed, why'd you keep yours?" he asked, his voice getting a little tight. I knew what he was thinking, and I didn't like it.

"It's not because I harboured any feelings for him, Jase," I said, giving him a stern glance. "I just hadn't known he had removed his, so when football season started again, the rest of the team saw it in the showers, and they all started calling me Sailor. Then most of the school started calling me Sailor, and after a while, I had stopped associating it with Will and started associating it with the bond I had with friends, so I didn't feel the need to remove it."

"So a drunken night leading to a nickname," he said, mulling the idea over, and then he turned toward me with a stern look on his face. "No more margaritas alone with Leo, though." There was a moment of silence before both of us broke out laughing. You wanna tell me again we are behind in our emotional relationship.

"Okay, so I have a question for you, too," I started as I turned my eyes back on the road. I felt Jason tense the tiniest bit.

"Okay, sure," he said, taking a deep breath. I needed to know something before I made my decision about moving in with him.

"Where does your family stand with our relationship?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Well, I know your dad doesn't even know you're gay, so he obviously doesn't know about us, but what about Thalia?" I asked, thinking back to the punkish girl who treated my ex-girlfriend like a sister...the ex-girlfriend I had hurt and cheated on. Something told me Thals wouldn't be my biggest fan at the moment. Jason took another deep breath.

"Well," he started, a little uncomfortably. I needed to know where he was at, though. Family's a crucial factor in a relationship, or it is to me, at least. "She at least knows I'm gay. She's the first person I ever told, but I haven't told her about us yet," he said, fiddling with his fingers, head bowed.

"Do you intend to?" I asked a little part of me, relieved that Thalia wouldn't be coming to kill me yet. I was mostly pissed, though. "And when were you thinking of telling your dad?" He heaved a sigh.

"I really don't know when, Perce," he whispered, and I gripped the wheel a little tighter, grinding my teeth in frustration. I've been pouring my guts out to him. I've opened up more to him than even Annabeth, the girl I had grown up with, in such a short time. All the cards were on the fucking table. If we were having emotional relationship problems, the only one standing in the way was the guy refusing to tell anyone about us.

"So, what do you think our emotional block is?" I asked, my voice sounding very sarcastic and snidely even to my own ears. I kept my gaze firmly on the road, though.

"Is that really necessary?" he asked, sounding like he was chiding a child.

"I'm just saying that you keep complaining about how the emotional side of our relationship is lacking, but you keep locking us in a closet." I was thoroughly pissed now.

"Can we just hold off on this till after the weekend?" he asked, exasperated even though he had absolutely no right to be. "I don't want to fight in your mother's presence." I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, cut the engine, and got out of the car. The edge of the forest suddenly looked very inviting. How fucking dare he?

"Percy!" I heard from the vehicle. "Could you please stop acting childish and get back in the car?" HOW FUCKING DARE HE?

"Excuse me?" I asked, turning to look at Superman, who had his arms crossed over the roof of my car. "I'm acting childish?" I asked, cutting him off as he opened up his mouth. "You wanna know how I know that your mom died in a car crash when you were two years old? Annabeth told me after Thalia told her."

"What's your point?" he asked, visibly getting angry himself.

"My point, Jason, is that you didn't tell me!" I screamed at him. I didn't care if passing cars got the show of a lifetime. I was going to make Jason hear me out. "My point is that I've shared all of my darkest secrets with you. You know things about me, my own mother doesn't even know!" I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"How dare you say that I'm emotionally lacking?" I couldn't help myself. "It fucking hurts, Jason!" The tears started spilling, and Jason wasn't angry anymore. He got out of the car thoroughly and came rushing towards me. He held his arms out to me, but I refused, shoving him away.

"Percy, I'm sorry," he said, looking me straight in the eyes for the first time since we left my dad's. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel like this."

"No," I said sternly. "Don't you dare put this on me. I won't let you tell me that I just reacted differently than I should have. This is not my fucking fault, Jason!" I yelled, flailing my arms around.

"Percy, I'm sorry," he said, taking a step closer, which I surprisingly allowed. "I was wrong. I fucked up."

"The worst part of it all is that that wasn't even the fucking problem!" I said, trying to force my tears to stop flowing, but I couldn't. "I have no idea what game you're playing at, Jason, but I do know you're lying to me because despite what you think, I do fucking know you!" I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"So next time you wanna tease me or punish me or whatever, by withholding sex, you better come up with a better fucking excuse." He was shifting from one foot to the other, guilt painted on his features. "Or better yet, just tell me the fucking truth," I spat, all cried out and done venting my frustrations. Why did I use 'fucking' so often when I was upset?

"Okay, well the truth is..." he looked around a little flustered before taking a huge breath, steeling himself for what followed. "...I wanted you to fuck me as rough as you were planning to before you found out I was a virgin," he blurted, which left me a little stunned.

"What the actual fuck?" My mind was reeling. I couldn't completely comprehend what Jason was telling me. He heaved a sigh as he started pacing. His hand went to the back of his neck, and his cheeks were turning red.

"Okay, so..." he turned to me and cleared his throat. He had a determined look on his face. Still, he refused to make eye contact. "...the first night we slept together before you found out I was a virgin, you pinned me to the bed, and you were very like, animalistic and rough, and I remember being both terrified and extremely aroused." He was looking at his shoes, the blush flaring on his cheeks steadily spreading down his throat.

"So..." I started, mulling over the idea in my head, "...you want me to be rougher in bed?" He opened and closed his mouth as if he suddenly lost his nerve. Is he seriously still shy about sex?

"Okay..." he started, taking a few more breaths for strength, "...okay, so..."

"Jason, spit it out!" Maybe I was a little harsh, but could anyone blame me. His eyes went wide as he looked back at me.

"Okay, so I thought that if you could be that animalistic and rough, it might be something you need to be." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Please don't hate me, but I was scared that if you couldn't get from me, you would go look for it with someone else." I raised both eyebrows at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You thought I was going to cheat on you?" I asked lowly.

"Please, I know I was stupid," he said in a panicked voice. His breathing was getting faster and more laboured like he was starting to hyperventilate...oh, shit. "I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you," he coughed and leaned over as I stepped closer to help him.

"I just wanted..." he looked up at me with tears in his eyes, "...I wanted to be everything you needed," he finished weakly. I helped him towards the car, making him sit inside and lifting his arms over his head. It wasn't fair. How was I supposed to stay mad at the idiot if he literally couldn't breathe? Sneaky fucking way to defuse a fight.

"It's okay, Jase," I soothed softly. "Calm down." I cupped his cheek, "Just breath, babe." He looked up at me with pleading eyes until his breathing steadily started to normalise. I brushed my thumb over his cheek. "You are, Jason. You're everything I need and even more than that, you're everything I want." I let my fingers card through his hair, and he sighed as he closed his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said, still running my fingers through his hair. His breathing was finally entirely back to normal. "Please, just try not to be such an idiot again," I winked, and we both started chuckling.

"I can't promise anything," he sniffed softly, leaning into my hand. I gave him a peck on the lips, and his body relaxed.

"Now, get back in your seat. I want to see my mother as soon as possible." Jason smiled and moved over to the passenger side. I got in the car, started the engine, and within a few minutes, we were once again barreling towards the city and my wonderful loving mother.