A PAINFUL WINTER

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After the day our "heroes" celebrated the defeat of Verdia, Winter came around as snow was now slowly seeping into the land. Now you may be thinking "finally! Its Christmas! Time to get that PS5 that I always wanted from a random Scalper on the internet!" well, not for the people here. You see, in this world… only bad things come from Winter season if you choose to find it.

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Me, Aqua, and Y/n are sitting on our usual spot in the guild trying to figure out our situation... and by figure out, I mean ranting about it, hoping that one of them has at least one idea that could help pay our debt.

Kazuma: I need MONEY!

Aqua: well duh, everyone needs money. Money makes life easier!

Y/n: true that.

They both then gave each other a fist bump before Aqua goes back to talking again.

Aqua: if you had an ambition, things would've been a lot different! I mean, here I am, a goddess! And you have no problem letting me sleep in a stable.

Y/n: psshh! You think that's bad? At least you weren't born in one, unlike Jesus.

Aqua: who cares about that old man I'm talking about me and i'm sick and tired of living in that stable! Its both Shameful and disrespectful! So straighten up and give me the life I deserve dammit!

Y/n: easy now, no need to get all fussy early in the morning. But I agree, we really need to start making money or else we'll starve to death or freeze our balls off, either one of the two really…. maybe both.

Kazuma: your right… we need to find a quest ASAP.

Y/n: already on it. Oh and speaking of which, the other two are here, heyo!

Darkness: good morning Y/n.

Megumin: morning!

After we told the two about what we all would be doing, we now then went over to the quest board to find a decent enough quest.

Y/n: ah jeez… everyone is so jolly and happy… lets pick a quest and get out of here. Seeing all their happy faces makes me sad…

Kazuma: yeah… I feel ya.

I look to the board to see any type of quest, but to my dismay, most of, if not, all of the quest had a decent pay but were garbage.

Kazuma: dang, all I see is good rewards but the actual quests are garbage.

Darkness: Kazuma, Kazuma!

Darkness called me as she tries to show something to me.

Kazuma: yes, I am Kazuma-

Darkness: how about this quest?

Y/n: lets see… it says that we have to hunt down a pack of wolves. 1 million eris!? just how dangerous are they?

Darkness: mmm~ yes! Just imagining them hunting and slobbering me! MMM!~

Y/n and Kazuma: …. nope.

We then quickly move on from that quest and tried to find a new one.

Megumin: Kazuma, Kazuma!

Called the Loli mage as she suggests another quest.

Kazuma: yes, Kazuma I am-

Megumin: what do you think about this one?

Y/n: it says… hunt down a ONE SHOT BEAR!!? oh hell nah! We are NOT doing that!

Megumin: why? You have me don't you? I'll teach that bear which one of us has a stronger one shot attack! Nothing can survive my explosions!

Y/n: Kakyoin would beg to differ.

Kazuma: could you stop with all those references?

Y/n: nope!

I just sigh at my only reliable friends childishness as I continue to find other quests. That is until I found an interesting one.

Kazuma: what's this?

Y/n: what's what?

Kazuma: look at this quest… it says "the Mobile Fortress Destroyer is drawing near, scouts needed to report its whereabouts and to determine this route." hey, this might work.

Y/n: but, question is, what the hell is a Mobile Fortress Destroyer?

Darkness overheard our conversation so she then entertains Y/n's question.

Darkness: not a Destroyer, it's the Destroyer. It is a fast moving giant fortress.

Megumin: it walks around on huge legs, crushing anything in its way! It's also weirdly popular with children.

Y/n: I can guess why… this thing looks like it came out of a medieval sci-fi fantasy show or something.

Kazuma: ooh~… yeah I don't really get it.

Y/n: yeah, me neither.

After that whole conversation, i just went back and continued on finding quests that we can actually do. Until another something caught my eye.

Kazuma: huh, look at this… " snow sprite kill quest." what the heck is a snow sprites?

Y/n then thinks for a sec before answering my question.

Y/n: probably a low level mob that can be easily killed, and based on the picture, they kinda look like snowballs with eyes.

Kazuma: huh. Well, whatever it is, their offering a 100,000 eris for each one killed. But like what you said, they sound kinda… weak. Hey guys! Can elaborate on this?

I asked the other people in my party to see if they knew anything about these things.

Megumin: well, snow sprites tend to roam in large groups in snowy plains. People say that with each snow sprite killed, spring-

Aqua: I guess we're taking this one then! I'll go get it accepted!

Aqua then took the quest sheet and skips away to where Luna is. I look back at the group before I was then stuck by an ominous feeling. Y/n then leans in on me then asks.

Y/n: dude…. I don't know about you, but I just got a bad feeling about this quest…

Kazuma: me too… you think something bad Is gonna happen?

We pause for a moment…. then we then speak up again in unison.

Kazuma and Y/n: nah!

We both then walk away towards the guild doors so we could head out and get some snow gear. As we were walking though, I overheard Darkness saying something rather… Suspicious

Darkness: hehehehe~… snow sprites huh?

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Our team of questionable people have arrived at their snowy destination as they now prepare themselves to kill some snow sprites. But for context, before they went on their journey, they stopped at a clothes shop and picked up some snow gear for this quest. Megumin wore a Black onesie under a white robe similar in design to her previous attire with her hat design being on her hood. Aqua was wearing a simple white coat with a hat on top of her head. Darkness was wearing a jacket that covered only her torso while wearing a black shirt and skirt. Kazuma was wearing a fur coat while having a towel wrapped around his head like a hood while still wearing his previous shirt. Y/n wore his old assassins attire since it had more layers than his recent attire.

Y/n: Aah~ the smell of winter air. God I missed this. And look! Snow sprites!

Kazuma: so… those are snow sprites?

Y/n: Aqua… what's with the net? You look like a preschooler going to catch some butterflies out in the park or something? What's up with that?

Aqua: well, I'm gonna use this to catch some snow sprites, and since their cold, I'll put them in a box and use them as a refrigerator!

Y/n: well… I'd give that an A for ingenuity, don't you think so Kazuma?

Kazuma: whatever, by the way… Darkness, why aren't you wearing that much armor? Your not usually this exposed…

Y/n: yeah! Aren't you cold or something?

Darkness: I'm fine… I kinda like the cold air. It tingles~…

She then starts to pant in a very erotic way. Y/n then just decided to move on from that and started to actually do the quest.

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I decided to find a secluded place to hunt some snow sprites and while I am at it, I might as well take Hikaru out to practice with my stand and other abilities.

Hikaru: so, whats on today's agenda?

Y/n: I was thinking about training my abilities a little bit, y'know?

Hikaru: ah, okay. I got you.

Hikaru then started to morph into me as my eyes turn into a metallic white. Hikaru then starts explaining some of my Abilities and how to use them.

Hikaru: okay, first, I'll teach you about a light skill called White Arrows.

Y/n: kinda generic, don't you think?

Hikaru: it is, but it's the most useful one if you want to one shot undead's from a distance.

Y/n; makes sense. So, what do I have to do?

Hikaru: all you have to do is imagine having light arrows forming out of the air and launching them at your target.

So following her instructions, I closed my eyes to visualize the scene in my head before opening them and casting the skill.

Y/n: Light skill: White Arrows!!!

Suddenly, white arrows formed all around me and flung themselves towards the unsuspecting Snow sprites. Some missed as the snow sprites were fast enough to move out of the way while others got impaled.

Y/n: wow. That was cool. What else can I do?

Hikaru: well, there some more but you'd need much more experience to actually use them.

Y/n: I see… well I'll just practice with this then.

And so I did. I practiced my new skill and my stand for 4 hours. But while I was practicing I noticed that everything was getting a bit foggy. I was confused as to why that was so I decided to see if the others noticed it too, but as I reached them, i saw a headless Kazuma, all my party members kneeling and a huge ice samurai.

Y/n: what… the fuck.

Aqua heard me as she looked towards me and mouthing the word "Kneel!" and I was confused as to why…. that is until Mr. Decapitator decided to have my head. He disappears in a puff of snow. Now, basing from experience and anime, I knew he was going to go for a slash so I brought out my stand [Making Mirrors] and tried to block his slash. Now I just want to say…. that you can't block a sword with BARE ARMS!!! but little 'ol me didn't know that until the last second. The samurai appears in about to slice my head off but thanks to my stand, it blocked the slice as I was now sliding back by the force of the attack.

Megumin: Y/N!!!

Y/n: 'holy fucking shit! He packs a punch!… but, whatever! I can do this!' HA! YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE ME BY SURPRISE!? WELL YOUR WROOoooo...…. aaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOT MY ARMS AGAAIIN!!!!

Well. You see, his slice was so powerful that not only did it push me back, it simultaneously sliced both my arms off. But… you see! This could also go in my favor for my stand! [Making Mirrors]! has the ability to reflect damage done on me back to the opponent!

Y/n: *strained* heh!… you may have cut my arms… but you too will be armless! For my STAND! [Making Mirrors] has already reflected your attack! I'd count down your demise but I don't have any fingers so this will have to do.

Then at that moment, BOOM! Both its arms got cut by nothing and fell to the ground. It looks at its newly stubbed arms as he tries to figure out how.

Y/n: now it's time for me to EN-….

Its arms grew back.

Y/n: you cheeky mother fucker.

I used my Stand and tried to headbutt it but it disappeared once I got close.

Y/n: dammit! Where is he now!

Darkness: umm… Y/n?

I look to Darkness in a curious matter before I felt an ominous being behind me emitting a very dangerous aura.

Y/n: ... its right behind me, isn't it?

Darkness then gives a slow nod to indicate it was behind me. At that point I was… STUMPED! *baddum tshhhh* eh? Eh? No? Okay…

Y/n: just kill me…

*SCHWIING*

*THUMP*

I hate it here.

TO BE CONTINUED…