Chapter 4 - Butterfly

Chapter 4 – Butterfly

Jimin grabbed the piece of paper that Taehyung had left on his night stand with Taemin's number on it. Up until his conversation with his brother Alex, he had been indecisive on whether or not to call Taemin. Now, given the new information he received, he wanted to call him more than ever. Taemin and Jimin had not spoken a single word nor even seen each other in over two years. Jimin dialed the number. Taemin's voice answered on the other end,

"Hello?"

"Hi," Jimin said quietly.

"Jiminie?" Taemin recognized Jimin's soft sultry voice immediately.

"Yes, it's me. Long time huh?" Jimin answered softly.

"Indeed," Taemin agreed.

"I was pleasantly surprised to get your message. Why did you call me Taemin?" Jimin didn't mince words.

Taemin began, "I saw you on TV. You and Ju…..that other guy in your group," Jimin couldn't help but laugh. Taemin's refusal to say Jungkook's name was petty at an epic level.

"Oh yea, our performance at Music Bank," Jimin laid down across his bed.

"I like the song a lot. It was nice to see you featured. I get so sick of seeing the other guy in the middle all of the time." Taemin sputtered.

"Ok, can we rewind a little please?" Jimin did a spot-on impression of a cassette tape rewinding. Taemin laughed.

"You know me pretty well. I am not one for dwelling in the past. I think that looking towards the future is far more productive. But with that said, I think we need to…clear the air before we go any further," Jimin cleared his throat.

"Wow, so you went right to it. OK. I can work with that," Taemin took a deep breath and continued, "I would agree, that we need to clear the air. There are some things that I need to say to you. Things that I have been repeating over and over in my head for more than two years now. However, I don't want to dwell on the past either Jiminie. So let's agree on some rules. Ok? Each of us has 15 seconds to say what we need to say. After that, we start anew. Deal?"

Jimin smiled through the phone, "You always were a great negotiator Tae."

"I'd like to go first if I may," Taemin spoke up. "I should have told you about me and Kai. It was a drunken thing. I was feeling particularly jealous over you and that kid. It was a one night thing and it never meant anything. I should have trusted you enough to tell you the truth. I also apologize for my behavior on the night that we ended things. I could have handled it much better. I was hurt and I was drowning in jealousy, immaturity, insecurity. I said some awful things to you. I never meant to hurt you and I am so sorry. I should have called you the next day, but one day turned into two, two into three and before I knew it, two years had gone by." Taemin took a long pause, " I never stopped lov.."

"I'm sorry but your 15 seconds are up," Jimin interrupted with an awkward laugh, "It's my turn." Jimin was in no mood to hear the word "Love" coming from Taemin, so he made a calculated effort to stop him before he said it. "May I?" Jimin concluded his interruption.

"You may," Taemin's amusement over Jimin taking control of the conversation was evident in their exhange. Jimin started, again, not mincing words,

"I should have NEVER allowed Jungkook to stay that night. It was stupid and selfish. I should have insisted that he leave. Hell, I should have thrown him out myself. His presence made things 100 times worse. I'm sorry. I also should have been honest with you. I knew that I wanted to end things as soon as I heard about you and Kai, but I didn't have the courage. For that, I am sorry. I drug you along for far too long and that just amplified the pain," Jimin ended passionately.

"I forgive you," Taemin whispered, "I forgave you two years ago."

Jimin spoke gingerly as well, "And I forgive you. I forgave you two years ago."

"Now that awkwardness is out of the way, how have you been? How are things? How is the group?" Taemin was legitimately interested in knowing how Jimin was doing.

"Things are going well. The new album is doing better than we could have expected. We are very busy though. And you? Are you well Taemin? I am not the only one who's been on television. I secretly downloaded your last video so I could learn the choreo," Jimin smiled through the phone. Talking to Taemin like this was like having a large bowl of chicken soup during a cold. It was warm, healing, comfortable and fulfilling. He hadn't realized how much he had missed him.

Taemin lowered his voice and replied sarcastically, "Well all you have to do is ask, I think I can arrange a personal practice lesson to help you learn my lit dance moves,"

Both men laughed in relief. The conversation went well. It was evident that both had matured. The past really was behind them.

"And what abou Jungk…the other guy? I assume you're together? The chemistry between you two is undeniable, it practically jumps through the TV," Taemin said light-heartedly.

"Jungkook and I," Jimin made a point of emphasizing Jungkook's name, "are not now, nor have we ever been a couple. We are not dating Taemin."

"You could have fooled me. I see the way you two look at each other," Taemin said.

"Taemin, you know as well as me that most of that is just fan service. The agency likes us to play up the different ships. Some weeks it's me and Kookie, other weeks it's me and Taehyung. It all depends on what's trending that week. You know that," Jimin was simple with his explanation.

"So, you two aren't together?" Taemin asked cautiously.

"No," Jimin said firmly.

"Well that's a waste," Jimin was very surprised to hear this coming from Taemin.

"What do you mean by that?" Jimin laughed again.

"We broke up a perfectly good relationship so you two could do your thing," Taemin laughed heartily. Jimin joined him.

"Uhh, our relationship was far from 'perfectly good', " Jimin shifted in the bed and rolled over to his side. This was the same position that he used to hold for hours when he and Taemin would talk during their trainee days.

Taemin dismissed Jimin's explanation. "Whatever, he's an idiot if he couldn't score after the assist that I gave him."

Jimin and Taemin were both great soccer players and huge fans of the game. The irony of Taemin making a dating/soccer pun was not lost on Jimin. He laughed even harder.

"Well unfortunately, Jungkook isn't sure what team he's on, so there's that. I don't think there will ever be any goals scored where he is concerned," Taemin gave a full-bodied laugh this time. Jimin could sense that there was a wee bit of gloating in Taemin's voice. He could also sense that Taemin was relieved to hear the news that Jimin and Jungkook weren't a couple.

Taemin changed the subject, "So listen, there's another reason that I called. I heard that you were going to be in Hong Kong tomorrow. We'll be there too. I was hoping that we could meet up at the press party after the concert. Me and my former members are required to be there. I'm sure you are too."

"Yes, we will be there. I would like very much to meet up for a drink. It will be nice to see you again," Jimin confirmed.

They said their quick goodbyes and hung up the phone. Jimin took a shower and got into the bed. They had to be up at 3am KST to catch their flight to Hong Kong. Jimin felt at peace. In fact, he felt more peaceful now than he had in a long time. He hadn't realized how therapeutic it would be to clear the air with Taemin. He was happy.

There was a knock at the door.

"Jiminie," Jungkook called out, "Jiminie-hyung, are you ok? Why aren't you answering your phone?"

Jimin turned out the lights and pulled the covers over his head, leaving Jungkook standing in the hallway. Jimin heard Taehyung's voice from a distance yelling at Jungkook from down the hallway.

"Hey boy, get away from my door making all of that noise. Go to bed. We have an early day tomorrow." Tae jokingly scolded Jungkook.

Jungkook reluctantly pulled away from Jimin's front door. He continued to look back as he walked away, hopeful that Jimin would suddenly answer. Taehyung shooed him away, then opened the door, stepped in and closed it briskly behind him.

"I can tell you aren't in the mood to talk to him so I got rid of him," Taehyung spoke to Jimin.

"Thanks Tae-Tae," Jimin responded.

"Look, I don't know what's going on between you two, but if you need to talk, I'm here," Tae spoke as he walked over to the bed where Jimin was laying. He rubbed his hand through Jimin's hair and gave him a soft pat on the back. He disappeared into the bathroom to take his shower. Jimin, in the meantime, dozed off.

Jimin rose early the next morning. He was actually one of the first of the seven to get up and get dressed. Taehyung hadn't finished packing. In an effort to help is very disorganize roommate, Jimin threw a couple more pair of Tae's pants and tshirts into Tae's suitcase. He also made sure that he had an extra tooth brush and shaving supplies. Jimin was kind to all of the members, but he always took special care of Taehyung and Jungkook.

For the first time in many years, Jimin woke up not caring about how Jungkook was doing, what Jungkook was doing, or if Jungkook was ok. He felt free of the burden of being in love with someone who didn't love him back. Their friendship would either survive or fail based on individual merits. One thing was for sure, Jimin was done chasing after Jungkook. In fact, Jimin thought it best to just avoid him as much as possible until some of the raw emotions from the hurt had a chance to fade.

Jungkook's alarm went off. He hadn't slept well. He wasn't sure but he thought that Jimin might be avoiding him. Jimin was still angry because of the stunt he pulled yesterday with Soujin. He also knew that Jimin had moods. He suspected that by the time they got on the plane, Jimin would be back to his normal self. The most important thing, thought Jungkook, was that he had finally given Jimin a clear message that he wasn't interested in him romantically.

The guys all met in the lobby and rode in a large mini-van to the airport. He and Jimin didn't speak. Jimin laid on Taehyung's shoulder the entire trip while pretending to be sleeping. Jimin made it very clear that Jungkook was not to bother him. They arrived at the airport and got checked in. Jungkook was the last member to board the plane. When he got to his seat, 7A, he expected to see Jimin sitting next to him in 7B. Jimin and Jungkook were always travel buddies. It was a rule. Today however, instead of Jimin sitting next to him, Yoongi was occupying what should have been Jimin's seat. Jungkook scanned the plane looking for Jimin. He saw him sitting in 12B next to Namjoon. He walked back to where Namjoon and Jimin were sitting.

Jimin saw Jungkook coming back and decided to close his eyes and pretend to be sleeping. Jungkook approached Jimin and Namjoon and spoke softly, shyly,

"I'm supposed to be next to Jimin-hyung."

"You're in the right seat Jungkook, Jimin switched seats with Youngi," Namjoon explained.

"Oh, ok…thank you." Junglook waited for a split second hoping that Jimin would clear this up and get Jungkook seated properly next to him. But Jimin, still pretending to be asleep, never said a word. Jungkook reluctantly turned and headed back up the aisle to sit in his seat next to Yoongi. He couldn't understand why Jimin was acting this way. Something was definitely wrong.

When they arrived at the airport in Hong King, Jimin exited the plane quickly to catch up with Tae. The two clung tightly to each other which upset Jungkook considerably. Jimin was always playing his little games to get under Jungkook's skin.

As for Jimin, he just wanted the sweet, honest uncomplicated loyalty that only Tae could provide. Tae knew Jimin was hurting and he was there to support him. He was willing to do whatever was required to help Jimin and Jungkook get through this "rough patch". Tae, although never one to pry, had a pretty good idea of what had happened between Jungkook and Soujin. He had known all of them for a very long time and it didn't take much for him to put the pieces together. Plus Jimin had been very open and honest with confiding in him about the situation while they sat in the airport away from Jungkook.

The schedule for the day was tight. OT7 had rehearsal, then they needed to get through hair and make-up, change clothes and get to the stage in time for their performance. The boys literally had no down time from the moment their plane touched ground until after they performed. There was also a mandatory press party after the performance that the group was required to attend. Jimin and Taehyung took a car together directly to the party after the practice because Jimin had packed a change of clothes for him and Taehyung to change into after the performance. They were able to get to the party early and enjoy more time there. The rest of the guys, Jungkook included, had to go back to the hotel to change. This meant they would be arriving at the party much later.

The party was a really nice scene. There was a DJ spinning in a lighted booth upstairs with a large video screen behind him. People were dancing and singing. There was food, drinks and plenty of alcohol. Many idols from different groups were there since it was a press party. By the time Yoongi, Soekjin, Hoseok, Namjoon and Jungkook arrived, the party was in full swing. As soon as he walked in, Jungkook could see Taehyung in a large well- lit room up on the third floor. He was giving an interview to one of the Chinese reporters from the press core. Jungkook scanned the floor looking for Jimin. He didn't find him. A member of the press core tapped Jungkook on the shoulder and asked if he and Soekjin would come upstairs and be next to be interviewed. Jungkook and Soekjin agreed and followed her upstairs. As the two of them arrived, Tae was getting up from the interview table. He removed his microphone and gave it to Soekjin. On his way out, Taehyung punched Jungkook in the shoulder hard and rubbed his hair. There was only one seat in the room. Jungkook allowed his hyung to take the seat and he stood behind him. He was perfectly happy to also allow Soekjin to handle all of the questions. Jungkook hated press interviews.

Jungkook had a perfect line of sight to the dance floor down below. From his vantage point, he could see everything. He decided to make another attempt to locate Jimin. He saw a flash of red hair in the corner next to the bar. It was Jimin. Jungkook let out a small sigh of relief but his relief suddenly turned to disbelief when he saw the person that Jimin was talking to. Jimin was in full-on flirt mode and falling all over Taemin. Taemin looked up to the interview room and noticed Jungkook staring at them. He doubled over in a deep bow in Jungkook's direction. At that moment, Jimin laughed hard and rubbed his hand down the entire front of Taemin's body from his chest down to his stomach. Jungkook's mouth dropped open. It was at that time that the interviewer stuck the microphone in Jungkook's face. He had no idea what he was supposed to answer. He had been so busy staring at Jimin, that he completely missed whatever question had been asked of him. Soekjin, thinking fast, repeated the question for Jungkook,

"Who are you closest to within the group?" Soekjin repeated.

"Jiminie-hyun," Jungkook said with a low shallow tone.

The interviewer thanked them for their time and shut down the camera. Namjoon and Hoseok were queued up outside of the room waiting for their turn to complete the interview. Jungkook checked his phone. While they were performing, he had missed a few texts from Alex, Jimin's brother. He had also missed four phone calls. Whatever Alex wanted, it must have been urgent. Jungkook clicked on his messages to read his texts.

Alex to Jungkook: He knows Jungkook. He knows everything about the cabin. I'm so sorry

Jungkook's heart sank. Now Jimin's behavior toward him made perfect sense. Jungkook knew that what he had done all those years ago was wrong. He wondered if Jimin would ever be able to forgive him. It was a secret that he thought would be hidden forever, but now, here it was out in the open. Jungkook didn't know if he had enough apologies to make up for this one. He now understood that Jimin wasn't just upset about him kissing Soujin. He was angry because of Jungkook's role as the catalyst that ultimately broke up him and Taemin. Now Jimin and Taemin's sudden reunion made sense. A wave of dread and regret swept over Jungkook. He walked downstairs and sat at a table adjacent to Taehyung. He positioned himself to make sure he could continue to watch every move made by Jimin and Taemin, no matther how painful it was to see.

Jimin noticed Jungkook staring at him. He didn't care. The days of him caring about what Jungkook thought were over. Taemin proposed a toast making sure to gesture extravagantly for Jungkook's benefit. He cleared his throat and spoke loudly, "To new beginnings," toasted Taemin. He and Jimin clinked their glasses together and repeated, "new beginnings." How appropriate Jimin thought.

The flight back to Seoul was intense. Jimin was in a better mood but he was still distant. For the return trip, he kept his original seat next to Jungkook. Jungkook was unsure of himself. He was unsure what to say or what to do. He didn't even know if he should attempt to speak to Jimin. It was an awkward mess. As soon as Jimin sat down, Jungkook's nerves exploded. He immediately began bouncing his knee violently against his seat.

"Are you going to do this little dance all the way back to Korea?" Jimin said as he smiled politely.

"You can't get back with Taemin!!" Jungkook blurted out. What the Fuck Jungkook, why did you say that? He thought to himself. Jungkook truly didn't understand where his sudden outburst had come from.

"What I do in my personal life, is not your concern Jungkookie," Jimin stated calmly.

Jungkook's heart melted at the sound of Jimin saying his name, "Jungkookie". Jungkook continued to speak, "We tell each other everything Jiminie."

"Obviously not, not anymore," Jimin said staring at the back of the seat in front of him.

Jungkook knew that Jimin was referring to the incident at the restaurant, his kiss with Soujin.

"You can't get back with him. He cheated on you…he's not…I won't let you do it." Jungkook stated matter-of-factly.

"LET ME! LET ME? What are you going to do Jungkook, scheme with my brother to devise a plan to break us up…AGAIN?" Jimin raised his voice much too loudly for the close quarters of First Class.

"About that, I'm really so…." Jungkook started to apologize.

"Please. Stop talking." Jimin slammed his headphones onto his head and turned them up full blast. He turned his back to Jungkook and faced the window. Jungkook thought he heard the faint sound of Jimin sobbing. The conversation was over.

The next few months were awkward. While Jimin wasn't outwardly angry or hostile toward Jungkook, it was clear that he was indifferent to his presence. Jimin's nature was so loving and kind. He would never be rude to Jungkook. He still helped him when he needed it. He still tried to take care of him as the Maknae of the group. He still flashed that million-dollar smile whenever Jungkook made him laugh. On the surface, everything seemed the same. Underneath the surface, everything was different. For the first time, Jungkook was starting to feel the consequences of poor choices. He had hurt Jimin and hurting Jimin was something that he never intended to do.

The training schedule for OT7 was growing exponentially day by day. They had a barrage of TV appearances, award shows, MV shootings, recording sessions, and photo shoots. A recent addition to their already hectic lives was the presence of cameras. Cameras were on them almost 24/7 now as they filmed for one reality show or another. Jungkook especially hated being on camera. It really affected the authenticity of his behavior. It wasn't easy growing up and becoming a man under the scrutiny of hundreds of thousands of people. Jungook was really struggling internally with all of the adjustments.

The icing on the cake was the fact that Taemin was still around. Jimin took sadistic pleasure in making sure the phone was on speaker every time Taemin would call. Jungkook's heart was ripped out every time he had to hear Taemin's voice. The emotional distance between Jimin and Jungkook was like a deep chasm in the earth. Jungkook missed his Jiminie more than he ever thought possible.

It was time for OT7 to begin recording for their new album. Management booked a two-hour studio session for the group to come and lay down their tracks. Jimin arrived two hours earlier than the rest of the members so he could do some additional vocal work.

Jimin was an extremely hard worker and a perfectionist. Jungkook always admired Jimin's determination and work ethic.

By the time Jungkook arrived, Jimin was back in the main studio reading an article on his phone. Jungkook couldn't help but notice that Jimin looked amazing. He was sharply dressed in a long sleeve Gucci shirt, a pair of Gucci slacks and two chain earrings. Their stylists had dyed Jimin's hair back to his natural brown and he was wearing light make-up. His new hair color made his soft features pop even more. Jungkook avoided staring, but it was a challenge to do so.

The recording session concluded quickly. Most of the guys had plans afterwards to enjoy their free time. As soon as they finished, the members all said goodbye and dispersed in different directions leaving Jungkook and Jimin alone in the room.

"You ready Jiminie? I'm starving." Jungkook stood up and took a couple of steps toward the door. It was a tradition for him and Jimin to walk down to the Panda Express on the corner after every recording session.

"Oh, I'm sorry Jungkookie, I have plans. Raincheck?" Jimin was looking in the mirror running his fingers through his hair.

"Sure, ok," Jungkook's expression emptied.

Jimin could see Jungkook's face in his mirror. Unfortunately for Jungkook, Jimin could read him like a book. He knew that Jungkook was much much more disappointed than he wanted to reveal. He turned so he could face Jungkook.

"Raincheck. I promise," Jimin gave Jungkook a soft, loving smile.

Jungkook couldn't muster up the courage to ask Jimin where he was going. Besides Jimin was reluctant to tell Jungkook about anything that happened outside of OT7 these days.

Jungkook felt an overwhelming need to be close to Jimin. He just wanted to touch him.

He walked over to Jimin and placed his open palm on the side of Jimin's face cupping his cheek softly, he stared into Jimin's eyes and said,

"OK, hyung, raincheck."

Jimin felt it. Every emotion that Jungkook was feeling at that moment was transferred through the electric warmth of his touch. He felt himself melt under Jungkook's fingertips. He tried to force himself to quickly recover but he was frozen in place by the unexpected sensuality in the gesture from Jungkook.

For the slightest millisecond, Jungkook saw Jimin close his eyes and melt into his hand. He and Jimin had connected and Jungkook knew it. The moment was interrupted by the buzzing of Jimin's cell phone. Of course, Jimin put it on speaker to answer it.

Jimin tapped his phone and answered, "You here?"

"Hi Babe, I'm here. Downstairs," Taemin advised.

"OK, on my way," Jimin responded.

Jimin beamed. He grabbed his bag and hurried to the elevator to head downstairs. He stopped for a moment to look over his should at Jungkook. "Raincheck, I promise," He said before disappearing on the elevator. Jungkook ran to the window to look down at the street below. Taemin was parked there sitting in a Black Mercedes. He exited the car looking sharp and walked toward the front doors of the building. He and Jimin were obviously going someplace upscale. There was no mistaking it. Taemin was smiling from ear to ear. There was a happiness on his face that Jungkook had never seen in all of the years of knowing him.

Jungkook saw Jimin run out of the building and high five Taemin. He then gave him a big hug. Fearing that they may actually kiss, Jungkook looked away quickly. When he looked back, he saw Taemin turn around and Jimin jump on his back. Taemin carried him all the way back to the car. They both jumped in the car and drove off. Seeing them together was all the confirmation Jungkook needed to know they were indeed dating again. It was the first validation of what he had long suspected. There were no words.

It had been six months since Jungkook's little stunt with Soujin. It had been six months since Jimin last showed any interest in Jungkook. It had been six months since Jungkook felt whole. Jungkook could feel an overwhelming sense of loss. He had lost something that he didn't even realize he had. The pain, speculation, anxiety, worry, confusion and sadness over his feelings for Jimin all culminated into this moment. Seeing Jimin, hugging another man, loving someone else, was too much for Jungkook's mind to process.

Jungkook couldn't understand what was happening to his body. He felt a gagging sensation in his throat as he fought to maintain his balance. He was dizzy and his sight seemed to blur just slightly. He suddenly felt hot and humid as if someone had thrown a wet blanket over his head. He struggled for breath. He desperately gasped for breath. He just wanted to breathe. His hands were trembling and his knees began to buckle beneath him. There was a stitch in his stomach and it was rising up through his chest and into his throat. Jungkook felt he was going to throw up. He ran as quickly as he could down the hallway into the bathroom. He burst into the bathroom stall and threw himself over the toilet. His insides were burning as if there was a dragon breathing fire into his veins causing his blood to boil. He opened his mouth expecting to void the contents of his stomach, but instead he released a long painful scream. He pulled back from the toilet and allowed his body to slide down the side of the bathroom stall. His trembling grew worse. Sweat poured from his forehead as the pain within his stomach grew sharper. Then, the tears started to come. Jungkook began letting out long low wales of pain that accompanied his tears like a soloist and his piano.

Taehyung was walking past the bathroom and heard the sound of someone sobbing. He entered the bathroom only to find his best friend crying uncontrollably on the cold tiled bathroom floor. "Oh shit, what fresh new hell is this?" Tae thought to himself as he gathered himself in preparation to rescue his sullen friend.

"Hm. Ok, first, that's disgusting. We have to get you up from here. Second, what's going on Jungkook-ah? What's wrong?" Taehyung said as he leaned down and put his arm around Jungkook's waist.

Tae tried to hoist Jungkook up from the ground. Lifting Jungkook was not an easy task. The Maknae had grown at least 3 inches within the last six months. He had also put on about 15 pounds of pure muscle. To make things even more challenging for Taehyung, Jungkook was so distraught that he was incapable of doing anything to help raise himself off of the floor.

"A little help here please, just a little help, anything you got, please," Taehyung pleaded with Jungkook.

This little bit of humor seemed to bring Jungkook back to life. He put his arm around Taehyung's neck and lifted himself to his feet under his own will.

"Jungkook-ah, what's going on? Is it your family? Did something happen?" Taehyung prepared himself to hear the worse.

"No Tae-Tae, they're fine," Jungkook offered.

"Then what's going on here?" Tae pressed, "You know you can tell me anything."

Normally, Jungkook could tell Tae anything, but not this. He couldn't tell Tae anything about what he was really feeling. He could never share his heartbreak over the fact that Jimin was dating someone else.

"I…I miss my parents," Jungkook had to come up with some explanation for his anxiety attack. This excuse was as good as any because there was some truth to it. Jungkook wished for nothing more than to be in the presence of his family to help guide him through his confusion.

"I'm sorry Jungkook. I can relate to that. I miss my parents and grandparents too. It's hard being away from them. Is that what's been bothering you these last months? It seems like you haven't been yourself since our trip to Hong Kong." Taehyung offered Jungkook a tissue.

"Yes," Jungkook lied.

He hadn't even realized that his misery was noticeable to the other members. He thought he was doing a good job keeping his emotions concealed. The tears started to flow again. He couldn't stop them from falling and he didn't want to. All he could do was replay the image of Jimin being carried to the car by Taemin. And although he had not seen them kiss, he was pretty sure that it happened. Hoseok who had been in an adjacent room, had also heard screams coming from the bathroom. He peeked his head into the men's room to see what was happening. He saw Taehyung heavily patting the back of Jungkook's head trying to console him and Jungkook leaning wearily against the stall. Taehyung saw Hoseok and mouthed the words, "He SAYS he's homesick" with a heavy emphasis on the word says. Hoseok came into the room and swept Jungkook into a bear hug. Both Hobi and Tae had a feeling that this outburst was not because of being homesick, but because of Jimin.

The two, Hobi and Tae, managed to get Jungkook home to his apartment. They escorted him inside. Both Hobi and Tae could see the turmoil and pain that resided on Jungkook's face. They both knew they were helpless to fix it. This was something Jungkook would have to solve on his own. Both Hyungs gave Jungkook deep and loving hugs before leaving him. He thanked them both for taking care of him. It was ironic. The love and care being shown by his Hyungs was typically something that he only received from Jimin. Never did he ever imagine that Jimin would become the source of his pain as opposed to the source of his never-ending comfort.

"Call your mother," Taehyung suggested as he walked down the hall, "It'll help."

Jungkook replied with, "Yeah, I will, good idea."

Jungkook laid down on his bed. His twitter notification rang out loudly. Jungkook looked at his phone. It was a tweet from Jimin. He had tweeted out a short video of himself saying, "Shopping for something special." with a big glowing smile. Jungkook didn't know what he meant. Most of Jimin's twitter messages in the past were always secret codes to Jungkook, but not lately. Lately Jimin's messages were just…messages. Jungkook traced the outline of Jimin's lips with his fingers. Despite his sorrow, the image of Jimin's face on his phone was pleasing to him. He stared without blinking at the features he had seen a million times. He thought about the moment where they touched right before Jimin left. He thought about the warm hugs that Jimin used to give him after practice. He thought about Jimin's smell of orange blossoms and roses.

Jungkook began to get an erection. He laid on his back with his phone only inches away from his face. He stared into Jimin's eyes as he pulled his cock out of his pants. He began to stroke himself lightly as he watched Jimin say over and over again, "shopping for something special." With his eyes never leaving Jimin's face, he moaned under the pleasure from his own hand. The vision of kissing Jimin's puffy pink lips replayed in his imagination. He stroked himself more aggressively until he came. He left a mess of orgasm all over his stomach and t-shirt. He didn't care. He kissed Jimin's face on his phone then dropped the phone on his chest with Jimin's image still on screen. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Jimin and Taemin laughed and laughed as they drove down the freeway on their way to the jewelry store.

"Seriously," Taemin said, "thank you for coming with me. You have such great taste and sense of style. I know I'll pick the right one with your help."

"I'm so happy for you Taemin. This is the best news. You deserve to be happy. And to tell you the truth, I really like Chen. He's perfect for you. Such a sweet person too. I know you two will be very happy. Are you going to America to get married?" Jimin gushed.

"Thank you Jimin. You have no idea how much that means to me. We are thinking of going to Amsterdam. It's legal there and I hear it's a great place to vacation. Falling in love with Chen was the best thing that could have happened to me. Guess what the second-best thing is?" Taemin teased.

"That McDonald's that they just opened in Seoul?" Jimin teased back.

"Ha-ha smart ass. NO. The second-best thing that has happened to me, has been getting you back as a friend." Taemin said sincerely.

"It has been nice," Jimin agreed.

"Sooooooo – What's up with you and jerkook?" Taemin grinned smugly. He laughed too hard at his own silliness.

"Be respectfull please," Jimin said sternly.

"Sorry," Taemin apologized.

Jimin asked with a slight hint of frustration, "Do you think that the two of you will ever get along?" He glared at the side of Taemin's face as he drove.

"Fuuuuck NO! Nor do I have any desire to get along with him. I will always hate that guy. But, I will respect him out of respect for you, but that's all. I can't do anymore," Taemin was speaking honestly. "Now answer my question," he persisted.

"How many times do I have to tell you there is nothing between us?" Jimin insisted.

Taemin rolled his eyes, "Do you want there to be something between you?"

"I did, I used to. A very long time ago. Now I'm not sure what I want. I'm not sure what HE wants. He hurt me." Jimin looked down into his small hands and seemed to be examining the fine lines along his fingers.

"I hurt you too. And look at us now." Taemin offered with a slight smile.

"You make everything sound so simple." Jimin crinkled his nose and smiled at Taemin.

"It is.'" Taemin said concretely.

"My heart is not strong enough to keep getting rejected Taemin," The tone in Jimin's voice was one of extreme sadness.

"Jimin listen," Taemin pulled over and parked in the jewelry store parking lot, "I've never seen you look at anyone the way you look at that guy (still refusing to say Jungkook's name). Don't even get me started on the way he looks at you. My parents don't even look at each other like that and they've been married for 200 years. There is a force that connects you two at the soul. I knew the first day you met. I could see it. The Universe put you two together in this one place at this one time for a reason. It kills me to admit this because I think the guy's a jerk. He caused more than his share of trouble in my life. But …ugh, I really hate to say this….I think…he's the one. Promise me that you won't give up just yet? Give him more time. He's growing up and definitely coming into his own understanding of himself. I want you to be happy and I think he can do it for you," Taemin ended his lecture with the softest most sincere smile possible.

"I appreciate everything you've said Taemin. But again, it's not that easy." Jimin paused for a second and then continued, "Enough of this! Let's go get Chen's ring!"

Jungkook awoke in a sticky mess. He still had orgasm juices all over his stomach. His now soft cock was peeking halfway through his boxer shorts. His cell phone was still laying on his chest. Jimin's twitter video was still pulled up on the screen when he checked for messages. He kissed Jimin again on his phone screen and placed the phone on his nightstand.

Jungkook took a quick shower and played a video game to try to distract himself from thoughts of Jimin. His phone buzzed. It was Taehyung texting to see if Jungkook had remembered to call his mother.

Tae to JK: Did you call your mom?

JK to Tae: Not yet, thanks for reminding

Tae to JK: I'm here if you need to talk. Do you need me to come to your room?

JK to Tae: Thanks, but I'm good. I'm going to call mom and then go to bed early.

Tae to JK: Eat?

JK to Tae: No, not hungry

Tae to JK: Not Hungry??? Should I call 9-1-1? I've never known you to NOT be hungry

JK to Tae: Ha-Ha. I'm ok really. I'll call you in the morning

Jungkook took Tae's advice and called his mom. She answered much quicker than usual. Jungkook had always teased his mom saying that she had "Spidey senses" because she had a unique ability to know when something was bothering her children, even from miles away.

"Hello Kookie! How are you baby?" Jungkook's mom gushed with pride.

"Hi Mom," He replied softly.

"This is a pleasant surprise. Where are you? I got your latest schedule but Dad still needs to print it so I can keep a copy on the refrigerator."

"I…I'm still in Seoul mom. We'll be here I think for another three days before we travel again,"

Jungkook tried to force a smile in his voice.

"Jungkook!" His mom grew serious.

"Mom?" He answered.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook dropped his head. His mother and those damn Spidey senses. He tried his best to cover up,

"What? Nothing is wrong. Everything is very good. I miss you and the family," Jungkook didn't put much effort into his lie. He was emotionally drained.

"I can hear it in your voice Jungkook. Talk to me son." Jungkook's mother was almost demanding.

"I don't know why you think something is wrong," Jungkook insisted more firmly this time.

"If you don't tell me, I can't help you." Her statement seemed to force back the curtain on Jungkook's thinly veiled attempts at deception. There was silence.

Jungkook desperately wanted his mom's help. He desperately wanted someone to talk to about his feelings. Jungkook loved his mother. He trusted her more than anyone in the world. If there was anyone he could trust to protect him, understand him, advise him, it was her. Still, could he tell her everything? Did he have that much courage? One thing was for sure, keeping this secret inside was tearing his soul apart.

"It's relationship problems," Jungkook phrased it as generally as possible.

���I didn't realize you were seeing anyone sweetie," his mom said methodically. Jungkook could tell she was treading lightly.

"Well I'm not. Not exactly. I mean…I think I want to but they don't want to…well not anymore. I'm trying to, but I shouldn't…I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Mom there's something WRONG with me, I think I'm losing my mind. Mom I'm so confused about everything." Jungkook started to sob. He lost all control.

There was silence on the other end and a long pause. Jungkook's mom finally spoke,

"Oh my sweet boy. First, there is NOTHING wrong with you and I never want you to think that. I'm sorry you're in pain. Relationships are tough. Especially for people your age who aren't exactly sure what they want or how to express it. Has the other person told you how they feel? Do they have feelings for you too?"

Jungkook picked up on the fact that his mother used agnostic pronouns. She used the term "other person" and not "girl". Jungkook figured that she was just using generalizations for simplicity. Jungkook felt a responsibility to reaffirm for his mother's benefit.

"SHE used to tell me all the time how she felt." Jungkook made sure to emphasize the word SHE. He didn't want to panic his mother. He continued speaking, "In the past, she was a very open and honest person. She showed me love unconditionally. Somehow though, I blew it. He's changed now. I took him for granted and I didn't appreciate the love he was giving to me. I pushed him away and I teased him and I was horrible to him."

Jungkook switched his pronouns without realizing it. He was now giving his mother his purest, truest and most honest confession.

"I think he's found someone else. I hurt him mom. I didn't mean to. Now I'm all confused and I have all of these emotions that I don't know how to control. I feel so many things and all of them are wrong. I'm an embarrassment to you and to dad. I can't control my feelings mom. I can't." Jungkook was sobbing openly now. "He's found someone else," the sound of Jungkook hearing his own voice say the words, "He's found someone else," sent him into a complete breakdown. He dropped his head in despair and could barely hold onto his cell phone. Tears fell in buckets from his big brown eyes.

There was another long pause. Jungkook's mother spoke again,

"My sweet boy. Listen to me. Listen to me Jungkook." There was a pause in his crying. His mother continued, "You still have time to tell them how you feel."

"It's too late mom, he's moved on, I mean she's moved on," Jungkook tried to explain. His crying started again, but louder this time.

"Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook!! His mother's voice growing louder as she wrestled to pull her son back from his grief. "It's never too late my beautiful boy. Especially in your situation. I think you have a really good chance at making this right. You're both still very young. Jungkook. You're not confused. You're in love." She said it so tenderly that Jungkook's heart instantly started to mend. Jungkook stopped crying and listened carefully, trying to process what his mother was saying. "Love is a very rare and powerful thing. It can drive you mad and save your life all at the same time. When love comes, you have to hold on to it. When love comes, you have to protect it. When love comes, you have to fight for it and sacrifice. Most importantly, you can't allow anyone to tell you that your love isn't real or that it's less than anyone else's. Love has no color, shape, or," she paused, "gender. I am so proud of you Kookie. Me and your father love you so much. There is nothing you can do or say that will ever change that."

Jungkook was silent. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did his mother just low key give him her blessing to go after his true love? Could she really know what was going on in his heart? In his mind? Could she possibly know that he was in love with Jimin? Jungkook spoke,

"Mom?"

She didn't acknowledge him. She continued, "Embrace your heart. The heart wants what the heart wants my wonderful sweet boy. Please be honest with yourself. Be honest with…," she paused again and then continued, "…him." She gushed with love for her son. Jungkook began to cry again but this time, he was also smiling.

"Mom, how did you?..." Jungkook gushed back to his mother.

"I've always known," His mother stated warmly.

"Mom, what will people think?" Junkook said in a worried voice as his tears started to flow again.

"I love you Kookie, nothing will ever change that. You have to follow your heart. There is alot to consider, but we will worry about that other stuff later. For now, FIGHT my sweet boy. Don't let true love slip away." His mom considered the matter closed.

"I should go now. I have a lot to think about, plus early practice in the morning," Jungkook felt like the weight of a 1000 years had been lifted from his shoulders. He began to smile as he said his final salutations to his mom, "tell dad that I'll call him back later. I love you mom."

"I love you too Kookie, always." He could tell that she too was smiling, "Oh Kookie, one more thing."

"Anything for you mom." He answered casually still smiling.

"Next time you see Park Jimin, will you please tell him I said hello and we would like to have him over for dinner soon? I think we should start spending more time with him." Jungkook's mother grinned like a canary. Jungkook could definitely hear the smile in his mother's voice.

Jungkook's boisterous laugh filled up the entire room. He clapped both his hands together and laughed at the boldness of his mother.

"Yes mom. I will make sure to tell him." Jungkook laughed again. There was a knock at the door. "Ok Mom, there's someone at the door. I have to go. Bye Mom."

"Bye Angel." His mom was still giggling as she hung up the phone.

Jungkook wondered who could be at his door so late in the evening. The knock sounded like Jimin's but he knew that couldn't be possible because Jimin was with Taemin. And then he heard it; an angelic voice coming from the other side singing a horrible song, "Jeon-Jungkookie, Jeon-Jungkookie, Jeon-Jungkoooookieeeeeeeeeeee," Jimin sang as he cajoled Jungkook to open the door. Jungkook almost broke his leg trying to get to the door as quickly as he could. He swung it open and smiled widely when he saw Jimin's face.

Jimin greeted him by punching him hard in the chest, "Look brat, what took you so long to open the door? You jacking off in there? Listen, we've got about three hours free time tomorrow. Panda Express?" Jungkook couldn't help but notice that something about Jimin's banter was different. It reminded Jungkook of the old days. He was optimistic, cautiously optimistic. Jungkook stepped out of his room and grabbed Jimin hard. He pulled him into a hug that was so tight, that Jimin had trouble breathing. He smelled Jimin's hair and the sweet scent of Jimin's cologne. Jungkook held on to him for dear life while rubbing the back of his head with his hand. He slowed his breathing down so it could sync with Jimin's and then he closed his eyes tight to savor the moment.

"I'd love to go to Panda Express." Jungkook finally replied while still embracing Jimin in a death grip.

Suddenly Jungkook felt another pair of arms around him. He was squeezed even closer into Jimin by a third party who had joined their hug uninvited. Jimin and Jungkook both looked around to see a tuft of brown hair squeezing both of them. It was Taehyung. He was walking by, noticed the hug and decided to join. "Why are we hugging?" Taehyung asked.

***