Saving Fluttering Bird

There is silence. While I catch my breath that races as if it would escape from me, I look from the trembling Fluttering Bird, to the motionless Gentle Whiskers to the Emperor sitting with his eyes closed.

His eyes, when open, are full of iron stone and I clasp Fluttering Bird's arm, pulling her to the bed in fear. He claps his hands and points at her. I wrap my arms around her so that she falls onto the bed, but I do not let her go. Gentle Whiskers bows his head to the floor and I hear him trying to weep quietly.

Men in blue run in, bent low in the Emperor's presence and try to tear Fluttering Bird from my arms.

"No, no!" I shriek, holding onto Fluttering Bird with all the strength left in me. "Don't take her away. Don't take Fluttering Bird away. Don't kill her. Please don't kill her. She didn't do anything wrong."

I have a terrible feeling that if I let Fluttering Bird go, I will never see her again and Gentle Whiskers will be very upset. She was his treasure, didn't he say? All he had left. Why does he kneel and do nothing?

"Mercy!" Fluttering Bird cries, her hands shaking while her arms are caught by men in blue. Her feet struggle for purchase on the floor while the men in blue attempt to tug her from me. "Have mercy, your Imperial Majesty! This slave knows she was wrong. This slave acknowledges her mistake. Please forgive this ignorant slave. She was wrong. She won't do it again. This slave won't dare make the same mistake. Have mercy!"

The men in blue pry my fingers off her arm and drag Fluttering Bird from the room. I try to follow by throwing myself out the bed after her, but the Emperor's arm stops me from falling out of the bed. He holds me tight while I fight against him.

"Anybody who harms you or puts you in harm's way must die," he whines.

"She fed me and sang to me," I cry. "If you kill her, you will hurt Gentle Whiskers. She is all he has left. She is his treasure. Don't take her away."

"You pricked your finger on her needle. She must die."

"I didn't know it would bite."

"She did."

"If she dies, no one can tell you who Hungry Beetle is. What if he comes back here to hurt me? He was scary. I hit him and he was angry."

The Emperor does not answer, but I feel an arm move and hear his fingers snap, followed by running feet.

"If she has to die, then I have to die too. She did nothing wrong. When I thought I was tofu, I tried to sleep in the water and I lost Baby Tofu. Now Baby Tofu is go-o-one. I am a bad woman. I should die too-oo. Why didn't you leave me in the water?"

The Emperor holds me and lets me cry until I am limp and unable to move or cry anymore. He strokes my hair and back until I fall asleep again.

Fluttering Bird sits by my side when I wake. Her eyes are swollen red. It is dark and the room is lit with lanterns. Sniffing, I smell food.

"Good evening, Consort Lin," she says, her voice rough, as if it is tired. "Sit up and eat."

She helps me up and will not let me speak, bidding me only eat and drink. Seeing her here cheers me. Gentle Whiskers will not be left alone.

"Thank you for today, my Lady," she embraces me and then wipes my mouth. "You have saved me many times now. My life and my father's belong to you now. We will serve you wherever you go, all the days of our lives. Thank you."

"I hear you," I say, frowning and trying to understand, "but I do not comprehend. I made trouble for you. I did not save you. Why do you belong to me? What is 'serve'?"

"It doesn't matter," Fluttering Bird says with a small smile. "It doesn't matter whether you understand or not. I mean that we will stay by your side and follow you."

"Oh," I smile and return her embrace. "I'm glad. When you and Gentle Whiskers are near, I feel warm here," I touch my chest.

"You barely know me," Fluttering Bird says, shaking her head.

"I know Gentle Whiskers," I tell her. "He has looked after me for a long time and I do not want him to be sad. If you are his daughter, you must be like him. Full of wisdom. Patient like stone. As gentle as breath."

Fluttering Bird does not answer, but picks up the tray with dishes and wiping her eyes, leaves the room. When she returns, she carries coloured pebbles that she lays out in my lap and teaches me a game.