A heavy thud against the door makes me turn. Nothing happens but scraping noises and the sound of sobbing cries.
"Please," I hear the high pitched, trembling voice. "Please, don't do this. I beg you."
I am afraid to let go of the chair and so I push it in front of me. It is heavy, but that means it will not let me fall. Stepping around the chair at the door, I push at the door to try slide it open. Like I have seen others do. The door refuses to move at first and then it slides aside as if it was not stuck so that I fall to the hard ground. Struggling to stand again, I find that I am unable to.
Beside me, against the wall, a man dressed like a beetle has pressed Fluttering Bird. It looks like he is trying to eat her and she is struggling, crying against his heavy shell. They pause to stare at me and Hungry Beetle snorts, turning back to her. There is something dangerous about him and I am afraid. His eyes are like those of a hungry dog who has caught a rat.
"Don't eat her," I say, from where I lie on the ground, still struggling to stand. "She does not want to be eaten. See, the water leaks from the eyes."
My feet finally seem to find firm ground and I pull myself upright. Fluttering Bird looks so frightened. Hungry Beetle has his hand inside her dress and she cannot shake him loose. An angry heat rises from within me. From my centre comes a fire. A need to protect my fellow woman. It is like a small drop of clarity in dirty water.
Throwing myself at Hungry Beetle, I knock him and Fluttering Bird down sideways. I crawl between them, trying to push Hungry Beetle away but become tangled in the hard scales of his shell when he kicks and struggles against me. Fluttering Bird sits and cries, while I kick Hungry Beetle back. Hungry Beetle bellows and shrinks away, crawling and then stumbling up and away, bent low, holding his lower body.
Crawling back to Fluttering Bird, I hold her tight and she puts her head on my shoulder, making my sore shoulder where Hungry Beetle had kicked it cool with wetness.
We stay like that until a pair of men in blue come past, stopping to see what is wrong. They bark so quickly to Fluttering Bird that I cannot understand what is being said. I hold her tighter, in case they want to eat her too.
"You can't eat her," I tell them fiercely. "She doesn't want to be eaten."
The men pause their barking at this and their tone gentles.
"We don't want to eat her, Consort Tofu," the one with a scar on his chin tells me. "We are just concerned that you are outside, here on the floor. His Imperial Majesty will be very angry if he hears of this."
"Hungry Beetle tried to eat Fluttering Bird, but she couldn't fight him. His shell was too big and hard. Tofu, no, Singhua... Yes. I came to stop him. Now I cannot stand and Fluttering Bird is too small to help me."
Fluttering Bird looks down, drops of water falling to the ground.
The men in blue bark at Fluttering Bird some more and the water falls faster. Their barking hurts my ears and makes me afraid again.
"Stop barking," I clap my hands over my ears. "Stop barking."
The men move my chair back to the window and lift me into it. Fluttering Bird sits quietly nearby and the door is closed behind their padding feet.
I feel like someone has given me a heavy weight to hold and the weight makes me feel like I will fall. Fluttering Bird comes to sit next to me. Holding my hands, she sings of spring and I fall asleep, leaning on her shoulder.
When I wake, I am back in bed and Gentle Whiskers is examining me.
"She is a little bruised, Your Imperial Majesty," he says and belatedly, I smell the Emperor's perfume, "but she is unharmed. I apologise for my daughter's behaviour."
"Good afternoon, Tofu," my eyes open to find the Emperor hovering over me. His eyes are dark with stone. Immovable as mountain rock. "I am glad to see you awake."
Struggling up, I still feel so tired, but want to chase away the stones in his eyes. I don't like the way he is looking at Fluttering Bird or Gentle Whiskers.
"Good afternoon, Your Imperial Majesty," I say and Gentle Whiskers helps to sit me up. "Have you come to kill me?"
The Emperor's eyebrows jump in shock and he withdraws the hand he had put on my hand. Clouds gather over his brows and he thunders. Fluttering Bird trembles and Gentle Whisker's movement becomes jerky.
"Who dares tell you such a lie?"
"No one told me anything. I think it. Is it still a lie then?" I ask him. "I lost Baby Tofu, I was unable to stop Hungry Beetle from trying to eat Fluttering Bird or stop the men in blue from barking at her, and now you are the thunder in a storm. Your eyes are full of mountain stones and I have not made you happy. So you must kill me."
"Is that so?" the Emperor demands. "Where did this blood come from?"
He points to a dot of red on my robe.
"Is that blood? Is that the red bead I was looking for?"
"Why were you looking for a red bead?" the Emperor sits down on his chair and his voice takes on the nasal whine again. I like the thundering better. "What happened?"
I have a feeling he is talking about more than just the red bead.
"I tried to catch a silver fish that was swimming in Fluttering Bird's cloth. It bit me and a red bead came out. Fluttering Bird was worried, and I lost the bead. She wiped my finger and the pain jumped off and then she went to take the cloth away," I tell him, fidgeting with my sleeve.
The Emporer motions for me to continue.
"I got thirsty while she was gone and stood up, but there was noise outside my room and I forgot about the water and the red bead," I say. "I heard Fluttering Bird crying and pushed my chair to the door to help her open the door, but the door was heavy and I met the floor. Then I saw Hungry Beetle trying to eat Fluttering Bird and open her up, but she was beating him and unable to get him off."
Hesitating at the Emperor's darkening expression, I continue in a small voice.
"The scales on his shell were very hard and he was too big. He snorted at me and I remembered that I am not tofu – that I am a woman and I must help Fluttering Bird. I pushed Hungry Beetle down and tried to push him from Fluttering Bird, but he hit me. His scales got tangled and hurt my hand."
The Emperor took both my hands to examine them, turning them over.
"After he ran away," I continued, "the men in blue came and found us and barked at Fluttering Bird. I thought they maybe wanted to eat her too and wouldn't let them near. Then they helped us back into the room and Fluttering Bird sang a song and I fell asleep. I am very tired."