The horses enter our yard and leather vested warriors leap to the ground. For now, they keep the blades in their sheaths, but that doesn't stop their furs from bristling. Their leader has a scar on his chin and a white fur collar. He catches sight of me sitting at my table and takes long strides forward.
He pauses and his eyes open wide with astonishment and a smile grows from his eyes.
"Princess!" he exclaims. "You're alive! I knew the rumours were true." He turns to his trusted friends. "I told you that grave wasn't hers. There was no one in it."
"Prince White Fur," I say and watch his smile falter at the new name. "You have mistaken me. I am not the Princess. I don't know of whom you speak."
"You are the Third Princess."
"The Princess is dead."
"Miss Lin then," his brows furrow.
"Miss Lin is dead," I tell him. "Only Tofu is left. You may call me Tofu. I apologise, I do not know you. The Princess may have. Miss Lin may have, but Tofu remembers very few people and knows even less. Tofu only looks like the women you once knew. That is the only similarity."
"Tofu?" Prince White Fur hesitates, his hand is on his sword. "Miss Lin, why are you like this? We were best friends when you left. What has happened to you? Who made you like this? Tell me. I'll kill them for you."
"No," I say, reaching across the outdoor table. "Put the weapons away. I cannot talk to you while you wish to kill." I look at all the soldiers gathered around listening. "All the weapons."
The men hesitate and the Prince pauses to think. Then he nods, removing his sword and passing it onto his man. All the soldiers grumble and put the weapons away.
"Princess," Prince White Fur says, sitting back down and leaning forward, "please, continue."
"Not Princess," I correct. "Tofu."
"All right, Miss Lin," Prince White Fur shifts uncomfortably at my frown. "Tofu."
"You are a man of your word. You do not go back on your promises."
"See, I knew you can't have completely forgotten me," he reaches forward to take my hands, but I pull them away before he can touch.
"Tofu only sees it in you. Does not remember," I say. "Now, you and your men must make a promise. You cannot break it. I only have Tofu at my centre now and if you break your promise, it will be crushed and I will be no more."
"What would you have me promise?"
"You will not harm. You will not kill. You will not let me see red again. No matter who they are or what you think, you cannot harm. You cannot kill. They are all Tofu has left. They remember for Tofu, because Tofu cannot. Do not try to make me remember. Promise me this."
Concerned eyes look into mine. In the eyes, I see mountains and fields of grass. Eagles flying in the sky and a carpet of wild flowers. I see fat fish in icy streams and herds of sheep and cattle. I hear the promise of warmth that was once given, the agreement that was meant to be carried back. The feeling of hope for a bright future. I break contact and close my eyes to breathe. Don't think. Just breathe.
"Miss Lin. Tofu, you are crying."
"Promise me," my voice snaps and nearly breaks.
"Very well then. I, Mengfu, Second Prince of Snowscap, promise you, Third Princess, Miss Lin, Tofu, that neither I nor any of my men will harm or kill any of your people. If I break this promise, may our bones be scattered and never find rest in our ancestral tombs."
Opening my eyes, a wave of dizziness assaults me, but it passes. I look back at eyes that want me to remember. Are begging me to remember.
"Miss Lin? Are you feeling well?"
"Tofu is not well," I tell the concerned prince and his shifting men, fighting to keep my breath slow and calm. To fight myself. "Tofu is seldom well. Remember, you promised. You always keep your promises, even when no one else does. The Emperor is dead. Tofu must not remember and has very little left. You promised."
"I promised," the Prince says with a thick voice. Moisture is growing in his eyes and I turn away.
"Fighter is making tea for you all. I sent him to make tea. You all sit and relax. I apologise, we have little food to share. It will not be enough for so many. I am going to fetch my family and Baby Tofu. To tell them we are safe."
"Baby Tofu?" Prince White Fur half rises from his chair, but then sits back down and composes himself when I flinch back from him and his incredulous fury. "You have a baby? You are married?"
"The Emperor who claimed me died. I am cared for by Fighter who loves me more than I can care for," I reply as steadily as cracking, crumbling tofu can and watch a tear fall from the Prince's eye. His hands are balled into fists. "The Emperor is dead. Baby Tofu is mine. You cannot take him from me."
"I won't," the Prince takes a few deep breaths and relaxes his fists. "I promise. I won't take him from you."
"Then, while I am calling my family, Fighter will come. He is listening, worried you will hurt me. I told him you were old friends, but still he worries. Fighter will come and he will confess. He will remember for me. He will explain and when he is finished, I will come back and we will drink tea together. I picked it myself," I give a radiant smile, ignoring the cracks in my centre. It is nice to have nice friends. "It will be nice to have some company. Company here is very rare. Now, remember it is very, very important. The Princess is dead. The Emperor is dead. Don't make me remember. Please, excuse me."