Returning journey

"Princess! Princess!" I open bleary eyes to blurry faces and muffled voices. I feel my limp body being shaken.

Voice One (female): "Has she been out here all night?"

Voice Two (male): "Weren't you watching the house last night?"

Voice Three (female): "Where's Baby Tofu? Have you seen him?"

Voice One (female): "She's made three dirt mounds. That's Baby Tofu's rattle. What happened? Is he dead?"

Voice Two (male): "Princess, open your eyes. Talk to me. Talk to us. What happened last night?"

Voice Four (male): "There was a fight here last night. She's been injured."

Voice Three (female): "Second Prince, last night - you didn't..."

Voice Two (male): "No! I promised her. I always keep my promises. Especially my promises to her."

Voice Four (male): "There are more signs of fighting this way."

Voice Two (male): "You go follow the tracks and see what you can find out. If I'm not wrong, last night, the Former Emperor escaped with his son. He didn't leave from the front door, so they must have left from the back window. The Current Emperor's men arrived late last night although I told them I had promised not to touch anyone. They might have been watching and given chase."

Voice Four (male): "Yes, your Highness."

Voice Two (male): "I'll carry the Princess back to the house. You women run back first and let the doctor know. You'll all need to get ready and pack. The Emperor has given his men orders to bring all of you back. I'll keep you all safe for the Princess' sake. You won't die. Go on. I'll order some carriages for you all."

Voice One and Voice Two: "Yes, your Highness"

I am lifted into strong arms that smell of snow and budding green. A distant, familiar scent that I had once thought I had fallen in love with.

"I waited and waited for news from you after you left," says the voice of the one carrying me, puffing with every step. "By the time I learned that you had been forcefully taken to Meihua, you had already been there for over a month. I went to try and save you but I was stopped at the border. I gathered allies and spoke to people, trying to gather support. I even went to find your father but he turned me away, saying your country was too small to dare fight. Gifts had already been sent to him with threats that you would be harmed if your father tried to rebel. Everyone was too afraid. I had almost arrived back at my own country when suddenly, I heard the bastard Emperor had led his army south. By the time I found out about it and rushed there to help your father, it was gone. Everything was gone. The least I could do was bury your family properly. It's been so long. I colluded with the Emperor's enemies and we overran the city and palace but when I looked for you, you were gone. All these years, I've been searching for you. Finally. Finally, I've found you. Princess, I'm sorry I came too late. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

I am laid on the bed. There is noise and clamour. The clashing and clanking of armour. The harsh orders of soldiers and cries of children. There is rushing and fussing and then I am laid onto a bed that can be carried. Down the mountain I am carried to a train of carriages.

The scent of soothing herbs keeps me calm through the rolling and bumping journey. I hear children wailing and crying in discomfort. Some of them crying for Big Brother Tofu. Quiet voices worry and fuss about me whenever the uncomfortable bumping and rattling stops. I am led and fed by familiar hands.

In my carriage, a large presence intrudes. It smells of snow and budding green. The smell of a distant land where mountains stand proudly beyond a wide plain.

"Princess," says the man, holding my hand and stroking the calluses he finds there. "I promised you. I don't break my promises. Even though you've been through so much, I'll still marry you. Don't worry. I'll take care of you, the doctor and your maids and their families. I'll make sure you all stay safe."

I want to move. I want to tell him, but try as I might, I cannot speak. I cannot even open my eyes. Fighting and struggling against the internal chains that weigh me down, I manage to move a finger. Like the release of a sluice gate, strength rushes through my body. My mouth opens. My tongue is free. For the moment. I speak the heavy words, stumbling over them.

"Princess?" the man sounds uncertain.

"The promise was with the Princess. The Princess is dead. She is gone. The promise is dead."

"No. I promised. I never break my word," dark eyes look into mine. They are fierce, like the eyes of an eagle.

"You are free from the promise. It is no more. The Prince must move on."

"I've spent so many years looking for you."

"Not suitable. This broken person is no longer suitable. Listen," I insist, lifting a hand to stop his words. "You are the eagle flying free. You must soar with your ambitions. My heavy weight will only pull you down. If the eagle would be king, it must fly. I have released the eagle. I won't hold it down. I can do no more than that. You need a queen. I am not the one. Not anymore."

"I can't," the fierce eyes fill with water that refuses to spill. The wild ferocity is no less because of the tears.

"You can. The promise is gone. The Princess is gone. Even Tofu is gone," I close my eyes, feeling the strength seep from my bone. I feel myself falling limp. "Gone," I whisper.