Ember Land
After being left behind and receiving the Ember guardian system, Aaron son of the duke Froststar, must strengthen himself and survive on this continent full of magical beasts and invaded by demons of the void while fulfilling the mission of the goddess Eri to create a safe kingdom where his people and the chosen ones of the goddess Angela, her "players", can return safely to retake the continent.
Will he be able to maintain the last embers of hope on this continent plunged into darkness and be the beacon that guides his people back to home or will he be consumed by the darkness?
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English's not my first language so if you find some error in the grammar or have suggestions, feel free to point it out.
Don't forget to read the other novels on the writing formula practice
Reveal Spoiler
Hey! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email kerawood.review*@*gmail.com (delete *） We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Let me just say that the setting is quite interesting. A game character is suddenly chosen by a system to become the hero and save his own world. What's so interesting to me about this is the fact that the MC is an actual resident of this world and definitely has deeper feelings for it than some random person/player. The second thing which made me quite happy was the realistic rejection and questioning on the MCs part when he suddenly got a system. The MC didn't just go: "oh wowie, I hab systems now, I go kills, do questy and level up like pewpew". This made me very happy. There are a few points in there, which IDK if the author intentionally wanted to portray as funny, but they made me laugh. What made me sad, or made it a bit annoying to read was the writing/grammatical errors. There are a lot of them. Tense issues, missing punctuations, oddly phrased sentences etc. In some chapters it feels like the author didn't review them after writing, leading to obvious oddness. My advice is: go through your work and review it before you post. And review it thoroughly. I know that it's easy to miss mistakes, it happens to me too, so I'd recommend reviewing a chapter a few days later too. Coming back to read it with a fresh mind helps me see my mistakes more clearly, might work for you too. For the punctuation, I'd recommend using something like grammarly to avoid having as many issues. Fixing this kind of stuff permanently and properly will take time. But these are all the immediate adjustments you can do. Overall I really like the setting and the development. Hope that you keep working hard and write this novel to completion. Best of luck for the contest!