Confessions

Emily P.O.V.

Hours pass by and the longer I see there is no change the more worried and anxious I feel. I pace back and forth, left foot in front of right foot, turning around in circles as I reach a wall. Heading back another way I begin to bite my fingernails.

"Emily, you need to relax," General Adkins tells me with a slight annoyance in his tone.

"I can't." I mumble still holding a finger to my lips.

Shaking his head, General Adkins gets up from the stool he was sitting at and places a gentle hand on my shoulder. I pause, meeting the gentleness in his eyes.

" Come sit, please," he pauses.

" Sometimes quiet is a good thing instead of bad, she is coming back. Just have some patience."

I want to argue with him, tell him how wrong he is, that Z could be in big trouble and we won't be able to tell. That we can't know if she's okay and assuming she is or will be is a mistake. But, in the end there really isn't anything to be done but to wait and have faith.

I go over to sit on the very stool General Adkins had moved from and place my head in my hands. I don't know how much more of this waiting and having faith I can endure. At least fighting Solarious she is there and I know everything will be fine. I can see if she's hurt or okay and kicking ass. But this spiritual reborn shit, I can't know and it kills me.

"She really does love you, you know " I feel a warm hand placed on my back.

I look up to see Nicole offering a small smile.

"You really think so?" I ask tilting my head up more to make better eye contact.

"I don't think, I know." She sits back.

Pushing myself upwards, I sit up straight. Looking at her I want to hear more. More about how she thinks or in her mind knows Z loves me. To know that it's not all in my head, that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Yes I know Z and I have kissed before but a kiss is just a kiss until two people can admit there is more of a connection. And I won't let myself fall if I am the only one doing so. I have to keep my guard up. I've lost so much already and my heart is the only thing I have left.

" How is it that you know? We haven't admitted hardly anything to each other and only had one kiss between us." I beckon the question.

Nicole tilts her head, intrigued by my confession. I feel heat rise to my cheeks as I realize that night on the couch no one was around. That for one small moment it was just her and I.

" Well, all the more reason to say I know now. Not to mention the proclamation you made while fighting that beast." She giggles.

"Nicole!" I playfully slap her shoulder.

By now I am certain that my whole face is lobster red. I can't hide it nor should I even try. I already said the words I did and I can't take them back. Nor would I ever want to.

" Okay, okay, down tiny human" she teases.

I glare at her squinting my eyes which only makes her giggle even more at me.

" Z doesn't just one let herself feel anything. She doesn't show she cares, she doesn't have nightmares about someone not being there, unless she cares. And she doesn't just go around kissing any woman around."

I keep listening, soaking in every word that Nicole says.

" When she kissed you, however long or brief, that kiss was her letting you in, allowing herself to feel again….to love again. Emily, she lost her mate, the love of her life, and when that happens to a Lycan they cut off all emotion, so that they may never feel that sorrow again. The fact she has opened up to you, only means she loves you."

My heart is jumping in my chest, I can feel each beat as if I was holding it in my hand. Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach. I mentally face palm myself. Could I have really been that blind to see that Z had fallen for me months ago? Oh, what a fool I am to have missed that.

" Emily?" Nicole snaps her fingers in front of my eyes , shaking me free from my internal thoughts.

" Huh?, Oh yeah sorry Nicole." I stutter.

" You were thinking of her weren't you?"

More like mentally slapping myself, but I'm not about to say that.

Instead I nod my head and smile wide. The thought that everything I have felt. That I was hoping she loved me just as much as I did her, made me happy.

" When she comes back I'm going to tell her." I say to Nicole.

" I would say that is a wise decision, life is too short to leave words unspoken." Nicole replies, with a gentle pat on my shoulder she stands and goes to check on her sister.

With all the craziness I feel like such an asshole not thinking about checking on my friend. Or both of my friends.

Standing to my feet I walk over to where Natasha lays on the examination table and where Nicole sits holding her sister's hand. Natasha took a good brunt of the rage that beast held within. The fact she still lives after suffering such trauma to her head, ribs, and abdomen is amazing.

" How is she doing, Nicole?" I ask softly.

"She took a good beating, but she will recover, we just have to wait for the nanobots to repair any cyber damage done to her systems and let natural healing begin on all flesh." She replied without a hint of doubt clinging to her words.

" That's a relief." I pause.

"I'm sorry, I didn't ask sooner, that was selfish of me," Nicole looks up from her sister, still holding her hand.

" I didn't think it was selfish, a lot has been going on," she replied with a warm smile playing across her lips.

"Look!" General Adkins shouted with surprise in his voice, breaking our conversation.

Nicole and I turn to look where the General was pointing. The pile of melted flesh and still in place bone was starting to shake and move on its own. Twisting and moving left and right adjusting themselves until they made a complete skeleton.

"It's happening," he says with anticipation dripping in his voice.

"Get ready, if we see fur, first we are in trouble." Nicole says with shaking fists.

We all stare waiting, waiting for the answer, waiting to see the outcome of a battle unseen by our eyes. Could it be that Z won? Is she truly coming back to me, to us?I feel my chest tighten and my body shake. Oh please let it be Z. The Z we love and care about.

Slowly blooming from the bone is perfectly tan skin, which spreads like a running river all over the bones. Relief washes over us a welcoming feeling as we all release a breath we didn't realize had been caught in our throats. Z is back and we couldn't be more thankful that this dark chapter is behind us.

Z P.O.V.

I jolted up from where I was laying, drawing in as much welcomed air to my lungs as I could. I can feel my chest rising and falling heavily. My eyes are still blurry, I can't see much but some sort of figures around me. My ears ring and I feel completely disoriented.

This is not how I imagined being reborn would feel like. Then again nothing in my life that has happened had been what I expected. I slowly try to gather my wits. And calm my nerves while allowing my senses to regulate.

Blinking a few more times, my vision finally focuses completely and I can see once again. I am greeted by the faces of Nicole, General Adkins and finally my eyes lay on the hard headed stubborn human I feel in love with. Tears well her eyes and she covers her mouth with her hands.

" Well aren't you all a sight for sore eyes," I manage to say.

Emily and Nicole begin gushing tears and grab hold of me tightly, General Adkins diverts his eyes quickly. And that is when I realize….I am fully bare ass naked. He quickly rushes over to grab a sheet that somehow managed to remain undisturbed from the whole fight.

Covering his eyes with one hand he reaches the folded sheet out towards me.

" Umm," I clear my throat, and the two balling women release me.

" Oh, sorry," they say in unison, realizing themselves of my nudity.

Wrapping the sheet around myself, I stand on my two feet. I still feel really weak, but I can't show that in front of my friends. I have always been the strong one, the toughest out of the bunch and I can't show weakness now.

" Nicole ...I… I don't deserve your forgiveness, I am so sorry-" Nicole raises a hand up in front of my face causing me to pause mid sentence.

" I forgive you Z, after all it wasn't you, none of this was you." She places both of her hands on my shoulders.

I can't help but still feel shameful for allowing Serna to get free. As much as they all say it wasn't my fault that it wasn't me. It still is absolutely my fault. That was my darker half. Serna was my responsibility to keep under control.

" Natasha is going to be okay, just let her finish healing. And as for you Z, you need to rest too." Nicole leads my wrapped up sheet covered self out of the designated lab and back to the room I shared with Emily.

" Nicole, I can't.."

" You will Z, because you can, we've all been through hell. We can talk about it later. Right now we all need to rest." She gives me a laser focused look with a very serious expression in her eyes. She means every word. So I give in.

I flip onto the bed sheet and all as Nicole covers the blanket over me.

" Rest now my friend we will all rest along with you," she says once more before leaving the room.

I lay my head down on the feather filled pillow, as much as I hate to give in I can't force my eyes to stay open or for my body to not relax. I feel dreadful, ashamed even about my actions and resting just seems like an even more shameful thing to do.

As I close my eyes, I begin to drift off. But, as I feel myself slowly hitting the deep sleep that my mind and body crave, light footsteps on the floor catch my ear. Peeling open my eyes I see Emily tiptoeing to her bed. She freezes like a thief caught in the night by a spotlight.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to wake you." She apologizes.

" You didn't," I lied.

" Where's everyone else?" I continue.

" General Adkins went off to his quarters and Nicole is sleeping in the lab with Natasha. But, don't worry Natasha is going to be fine, Nicole just didn't want to leave her alone." Emily reassures me.

I nod my head in response. There isn't much to say right now. I think I have done enough damage for a lifetime. Apologies can't fix what I have done but it's the least I can offer up to the people I have hurt. I still need to apologize to Emily too. But, to me, the fact Serna came after her and harmed her makes me more ashamed than anything else.

I take a deep breath letting go of my pride and allowing my emotions to take hold.

"Emily, there's something I wanted to tell you," I pause as she looks at me.

" There's something I wanted to tell you as well." She replies, still standing in the very spot I caught her in.

I gesture for her to sit next to me on the bed, so that we can talk. After all it has to happen one way or another and I can't put it off any longer.

" About everything that happened. Serna coming after you, me losing control. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for all of it and for not being able to protect you. I feel so ashamed for everything that has happened since we met." She doesn't say anything so I continue on.

" No harm should ever come to you, and it has repeatedly come to you, more times than I would like, I hope one day you can forgive me for my failures too. And know how much I care about you and how much-"

Her lips meet mine interrupting my long unrehearsed speech or apology whatever it is to be called. I wrap my arms tightly around her. Goddess it feels good to hold her so close to me. To feel her in my arms safe. To have her lips against mine. Her fingers intertwined with my own.

She pulls away allowing us each a chance to breathe. Bringing her forehead close to mine I can feel her sheepish smile.

" You talk too much, there is something that I have been wanting to tell you for a long time, and I have been to blind to see that you feel the same way."

We're so close together but we make eye contact and I can feel the heat rise throughout my whole body and the butterflies flutter in my stomach. And I know right then she is about to say the very words I had been wanting to say to her. And just like a beautiful melody she whispers to me. The three words anyone ever wants to hear.

" I love you."