WHERW I FIND CALM.

Narrated by Noah

I walk quietly through the campus the day is quite sunny, a group of very smiling and flirtatious girls pass by my side, but I ignore them the least I wish now is another fool with the dream of having the bad boy, I hurry I need to see to my father.

I go into the rector's large office and he is sitting there.

Will Cullen "Hello son"

"Hi Daddy" I greet him.

I take a seat in front of him, he's busy going through some papers, his office is a pretty cozy place.

"You have to see your brother today, right?" It is not a simple question, it is simply his way of telling me that I should go yes or yes.

He does not take his eyes off his documents, he has eyes like mine, only that hers have a tired appearance, he is quite similar to me physically, on the other hand we are very different, we never agree with anything.

"That's right," I answer dryly.

Will Cullen, "Talk to the coach."

My posture changes rapidly, I already imagined that this was why he wanted to see me.

"He told me that you're missing a lot of practice," he joins his hands and watches me.

"I haven't stopped training", I defend myself but it really stops me.

Will Cullen, "Noha that's your dream, you have to try harder."

I look at him annoyed, as always this could not be the typical father and son talk, you always have to always argue for the same reason.

"That was my dream dad, why continue, we all know what is going to happen, you really think I can continue swimming when I'm blind," I say rudely.

My father bangs his desk annoyed and with an authoritative look he shuts me up.

"That won't happen, I know because I'm your father and please don't start your tantrums and go I have to host a new student.

I get up to leave but again he stops me.

Will Cullen "Wait, we must test you"

Noha "Dad, I haven't used for a long time, please let's stop for today."

He watches me for a while and then nods.

I leave the office I am tired, all this bothers me a lot. It is inevitable that the truth cannot be disguised.

I turn my gaze to the front I am fully illuminated, a girl is waiting outside, she is very pretty, she has dark hair at shoulder height, she is tall and very thin, she has gray eyes that reflect a lot of joy and in fact, it is hers who most It catches my attention, I stare at her and she does the same but quickly looks away to the ground, she looks like a shy and tender girl, a lady next to her says something that I can't hear but that makes her blush, a little smile appears on my lips smile that long ago did not show.

I get to the pool after a few minutes and everyone is ready, I get ready as quickly as I can and put myself in my place under everyone's gaze, it is not very common to see me here but unfortunately I will have to attend more often.

We finish the practices and Abel approaches me, he does not talk to me, he just takes his things, he gives me a serious look and continues on his way, Darían approaches and throws a towel at my face.

"What are you doing?" I ask

He smiles and comes closer to me with open arms.

They would say "Don't you plan on saying hello, we haven't seen each other for a long time, are we going to party?"

Darían is a robust boy full of tattoos, but when you meet him you realize that appearances can be deceiving, it is the opposite, he is a funny, friendly and charismatic boy, in a very good position, his family is one of the wealthiest in the country, but he doesn't talk much about it.

"I can't have to spend the day with my family," I lie.

I say goodbye as quickly as I can, I can't take another second surrounded by people.

The classes passed very slowly, the day has been stormy my head hurts a little so I return home quickly, I need to rest, I enter my room and sink my head into the pillow the pain is unbearable and I can only remember that day.

I am in the middle of the street there is a lot of commotion, people running from one side to another try to get into the crowd and I find a girl lying on the ground with a wrecked motorcycle next to her but unfortunately I recognize who she is.

"Bella," he yelled her name.

I push everyone and when a pain hits my head and I fall to my knees in front of Bella I put my hand to my face and blood begins to run through her

"You killed her it was your fault," Abel yells at me, I can hear it but I can't see it

"Wake up Noah, wake up," Richar's voice snaps me out of my nightmare.

I open my eyes I am in my room, Richard is in front of me.

"You're okay," he asks concerned.

"Yes," I lie.

Richard "It's beautiful isn't it, another nightmare?"

"It's nothing I'm fine," he assured.

I wipe the tears from my face, I'm sweating and my breathing is very strong, I get up and go to the bathroom a year has passed because this keeps happening to me. It's almost six in the afternoon, I look at myself in the mirror, my hair is somewhat disheveled, my eyes are red and my head is hammering, I take my pills out of their hiding place and I take them. I don't want Richard to find out about my condition. I know it's not the painkillers I need right now so I grab my gym bag, Richard is getting ready for the Party tonight.

"There's a party today, aren't you coming?" Richard asks.

"No, right now it's not something I feel like right now, I'm going out for a bit."

"Okay," he says something dubious.

Richard is my roommate, a great friend so I couldn't tell him about my problems, he would try to help me and tell the rest of the boys, I don't want to be a damn burden to anyone. I leave the room and go to the gym where the pool is, it is the only thing that refreshes my soul, feeling that I immerse myself in the deep makes me forget everything.

"Nalla wait," a boy runs past my side.

I don't pay much attention and continue on my way, I take a shortcut to the pool, I open the gym door with the copy I have of the keys, I check that no one there, the place is practically dark and quiet, just what I need, I dress with My swimsuit I put my feet on the edge and I submerge myself, a lot of bubbles begin to disappear around me, I stay submerged trying to heal the pain and forget, when I started with the drugs, the fights I just wanted to die, destroy myself totally. My lungs start to burn and the lack of air is present, but even so I do not move, there is nothing out there.

A lot of bubbles accumulate around me is a girl with a red dress, I am quite surprised, I swim next to her, she looks at me attentively until her eyes close, I quickly take her and take her out of the water. I recover the air that was missing quickly.

It's the girl from this morning, she opens her eyes and coughs a little, she lifted her up and ran my hand down her back, hoping that it would calm her down when a boy enters.

"Nalla, are you okay?" The boy I saw earlier running.

He kneels by her side but she tries to run away and approaches me, she is frozen and scared.

"Go away, don't touch me," says the girl with a cracked voice

"Nalla we have to talk," The boy tries to touch her.

Grabs her hand and pulls her away from me, an animal instinct takes over me, I grab the boy in the shirt, pull him up and away from her.

"You said don't touch her," I warn him.

"She's my girlfriend," says the boy.

Noha, "Listen asshole, I don't care who you are, she'll go with me."

I approached the girl and no matter what he thinks, I covered her with a dry towel and lifted her in my arms. We left the gym, I must take her to the infirmary, so I decide to do something that has not crossed my mind for a long time.

"Wait here," I put her down and run to the back of the place.

Hidden in the dark is my bike, Richard restored it after the accident but I just didn't want to see it and brought it here.

I climb on it with trembling hands, start it up with a roar and quickly get the girl.

"Come up, I'll take you to the infirmary, it's a bit far from here," I say reaching out to help her up.

Although somewhat doubtful, she accepts it and gets on the motorcycle, she is shaky and cold.

"Nalla what do you think you do, you don't even know him and you get away from her," the very moron reappears shouting.

Noha, "You are really stupid."

He ignores me completely.

"It's over Nalla, we're going," he says taking her arm.

My patience reaches the limit I throw a punch that goes straight to his face causing him to fall to the ground, before he can join me I leave with her.

The cold air hits us, I feel her trembling behind me, I take her hands and brought them closer to me, her simple contact makes something in me turn on, I smile at the feeling, it is warm.

We stop in front of the infirmary and without saying a word I help her to enter. Her hair is stuck to her face and her soaked dress is cut and bloody on her knees.

"What happened," asks the nurse, "let's take her to that stretcher I'll bring her dry clothes."

"You can leave me here, don't worry you've done enough for a stranger," she says shyly.

"It doesn't matter I'll help you," the feeling of at least knowing that she's fine brings me peace, but she's not Bella, her eyes are the same, they have life.

I put her on the stretcher and brought a medicine cabinet to her, I took out what was necessary to clean the wounds but she stopped me.

"I can do it," she says, trying to get up but I stop her.

"I think I would do much better," I clean her wounds while she rests, "done."

I had not realized that she was already asleep, I get up and brush some damp strands from her face. It is very similar to Bella, but it is not Nalla, the boy who was called had said, why the hell did I help her I was only there decided to die but she arrived, I do not understand my own feelings are confused, on the one hand love for another hate, but of course sometimes it is easier to hate and distance ourselves and many times the most correct.

My phone starts ringing is Ethan my brother, I had not realized how late it was, although a part of me wants to stay, I'm leaving I need to stay in my dark

"I'm glad Noha was able to make it there," Ethan greets me.

I managed to get to the clinic as fast as I could, I didn't use the motorcycle, it's strange but I can't get back on it.

"Sorry about the time, something came up," I apologize.

Ethan is sitting with a pile of papers in his hands, I see his white coat and his appearance so perfect that sometimes I wonder that we are brothers, he has short dark hair like mine, he is tall but very thin not like me and with that eye color that characterizes our family so much.

Ethan, "You're lucky I'm your brother."

Noha, "I don't think it's that good."

We laughed at my comment, the truth is that we are inseparable despite the fact that I am a disaster, Ethan helped me to get off drugs at first he was alone until he realized that I would need more help, he bothered me for being a It burdens my family and friends, but I understood that this was not the best way to get rid of my pain, I only cause more pain to those I care about, my way of being is the way I have found to avoid pain.

"Well, you told me that your head has hurt a lot these days and I see that your eyes are red, have you drunk?" my brother asks.

"No, not in a long time," I say sincerely.

Ethan "fine, I'm glad, let's see what happens to you."

After some tests that did not turn out as I would like.

"This is very bad brother, your vision worsens for days at this rate in a few months you will hardly be able to see, you also have some hemorrhages from the accident, they are supposed to disappear but there they are, the best thing will be to operate, we can recover your vision, although it's a bit risky, "concludes Ethan.

Noha, "you know that doesn't matter to me, if I lose my sight now or later it's not important."

Ethan looks at me with sad and thoughtful eyes I hate when they do that so I don't tell anyone about my situation, everyone feels sorry and wants to do something for me, something impossible.

"You'll be fine, I'm the best and I'm your brother," Ethan claps me on the shoulder.

Noha, "I know."

I would like to believe that everything will be fine but it is very difficult for me, I think I deserve all this and I cause a lot of damage, because of me a family mourns the death of their daughter.

Ethan, "come on I'll walk you home."

I get in my brother's car, I don't feel well, my chest is compressing and I can't breathe.

"you feel good?" Ethan asks.

"I need air, I better walk," I quickly get out of the car.

I get out of the car and walk back, my brother does not start the car until he sees me calmer only when that happens he starts the car and leaves, I walk alone and I enjoy the tranquility, I need to prepare things, I'm going to be away for a while due to the operation and I have to make up an excuse for my friends, but not only in that I think, I worry about the girl, Nalla, I miss the warm feeling of being by her side, maybe it was just a pity, maybe I'm just confused.