fears

╰┈➤ ❝fears❞

Fear.

It controls everything, humans, non-humans and everything in between. It manipulates us, tricks us and makes us do things we never would have wanted to do. It connects us and breaks us, makes us vulnerable and immortal at the same time.

Fear is able control our emotions in the wrong way, it can make us lose our path in life and there's a chance we'll never find it again. It can completely break us if we're not careful, and the thought of that makes us fear even fear itself.

But fear can also make us stronger. It can guide us to a better path and protect us from dangerous situations. It makes us understand that life is not something straight from a happy children's storybook. This is reality, and we have to accept it even though we would like to keep our head in the clouds and fantasize about all those happy endings.

If people would learn to control their fears, they would be able to do great things in their lives. The only exception would be those who do nothing about it, those who let fear take control and let it affect their own lives, as well as their family's, friend's and everyone else around them.

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Yeosang had lived in fear for his whole life, it controlled him, manipulated him. Any hint of hope had been sucked out of him, leaving an empty shell behind and nothing else. Fear was not the only thing that had been controlling him.

A dark, empty room.

Those cold, cold stone walls.

Hunger, it was the only thing he felt.

Where was he? Why was everything so cold? Was he back at that place? Yeosang couldn't move nor talk, his body was basically paralyzed, frozen in one place. The last thing he remembers is that he was pinning Seonghwa to the wall after he had had Yunho at a knife-point. The only thing that didn't make any sense was the fact that he was still kind of aware of everything that was happening around him.

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"Is he going to be okay?" Wooyoung said as he sat next to Yeosang who was laying on the bed under a soft blanket. He was indeed very worried about Yeosang, whether he liked it or not. He knew he should be angry at Yeosang for what he did to him in the past, but he couldn't bring himself to hate him even if he wanted to.

The way they spent every day together and had such a fun time together was so much more precious to him than he had ever thought. It really did leave a mark in his heart and he didn't want to wash that mark away. Although, the mark had a hole in it, he wanted to replace the small hole with a bandage and recover their friendship.

Of course he knows it's going to take a long time, probably years even. But he's determined to try, and if Yeosang shows no interest, he's going to stop trying and he'll finally move on from him.

San watched as Wooyoung was spacing out on the bed. He smiled when Wooyoung shook his head and turned to San with a blush on his cheeks. "Were you spacing out again?" The older smirked, adoring the small pout that was forming on Wooyoung's lips.

Wooyoung shook his head and pouted. "I- I wasn't spacing out anything! I was just... thinking about certain things." He huffed, looking back at Yeosang. San chuckled and looked at Wooyoung's hands, this sudden urge to hold them yelled at the back of his head. This weird feeling had been in the back of his head for a few days and he had no idea what to do about it.

He had realized his was heart beating faster every time Wooyoung was close to him and even every time they talked to each other. This small urge to protect the younger was always haunting him, every single day. "What things?" San smiled widely, finally taking Wooyoung's hand in his. Wooyoung turned around to face San and gave him a startled expression. "Hmm?" San teased more.

"Just... things." Wooyoung said with another huff, squeezing San's hand. "I'm just worried about Yeosang, that's all." He sighed, looking at Yeosang's peaceful figure. "I have no idea what he's thinking about... that's why I was, well, very shocked when he collapsed." He explained, releasing a pitiful chuckle.

San nodded, turning his head to look at Yeosang too. He too was very baffled at everything. He had no idea why Yeosang had acted like that so suddenly, passing out in his arms. "Believe me, I was as shocked as you are right now. He's been sailing with my crew for years and I know close to nothing about him." He sighed, pursing his lips into a thin line. "But now that you're here, maybe you could talk to him?"

Wooyoung froze for a second, taking in San's idea. He was right, maybe he could just talk about things with Yeosang, but would it be that easy? Yeosang has always been a closeted person, even when they were best friends. He doesn't know anything about Yeosang's family or his life in general. At the same time he felt like a complete stranger, and at the same time he felt like a soulmate to him.

Why was he so scared to talk to him?