Ups and down (5)

"I thought you weren't interested in my choice of friends," Lucifer mentioned when he appeared next to the same vessel Michael was wearing before. A slightly younger Aaron sat in front of him, looking at the pieces of glass that came from a broken mirror a few steps away from them as if they were gold.

Michael had a mask of indifference as he saw the different kind of emotions displayed in Aaron's soul. "I was merely curious of what you see in him. I won't affect his timeline, Lucifer."

"Well, you've been already here, seen some things. Now go" Lucifer walked towards Aaron and sat beside him, as he had done a few minutes ago. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say a couple of months later.

"He probably wouldn't have gotten into Heaven immediately, had he succeed," Michael said calmly.

"Had he succeeded then I would have given him to you yesterday, with the others." Tears didn't fell from Aaron's eyes as he started to hyperventilate between clenched teeth. He grabbed the broken glass with desperation, sweat falling from his forehead. Unconsciously, Lucifer started to move a hand towards his wrist.

"Lucifer."

Michael spoke only once, but the meaning was clear. Lucifer's hand halted, stayed in the air as he saw Aaron cutting his forearms with a tight smile on his face, a broken sob escaping from his lips. Aaron looked relaxed as he leaned his head against the bathroom wall and stared at the ceiling. He breathed in relief and his smile turned soft, sincere.

His future self wouldn't be too pleased to know that he had seen him in this moment. He shouldn't be watching; it was Aaron's past and he hadn't invited him. However, at the same time, Lucifer found himself unable to tear his eyes away as the blood rolled from his arms to the floor.

Aaron ran a hand through his hair, placing his head back so it wouldn't bother his eyes. The movement was slow as if his limbs weighted him. He didn't clean the drops that fell onto his face. He just smiled bitterly and mouthed a 'finally' at the air.

Lucifer was right. Aaron looked good in red. Stunning. Even more accompanied with the sharps colors his soul displayed. A beautiful contrast of lights. Relief, fear, sadness, happiness, disappointment, accomplishment. Too many colors.

"Lucifer."

"They're not going to make it," Lucifer said, ignoring his brother's silent question (Or was it a command?). Aaron had told him before that it was his parental figure, Will, the one who found him in the bathroom. Lucifer could sense him with his wife but they still were on the road, five minutes too late ─ Aaron had already lost too much blood.

"Even after you rebelled there were rules that you never broke," Michael started, using the tone he always used to lecture others, "Because you knew how important they were."

Lucifer glared at his brother. "I'm not changing the timeline if it already happened."

Michael looked thoughtful, considering. "Do you think that Father wanted you to─"

"Oh, stop it. I'm doing this because I want. Don't involve Father here." Lucifer brushed Aaron's hair; he didn't seem to have felt him, it looked hard for him to stay conscious. But with that touch, the bleeding stopped. Lucifer sighed and stroked Aaron's hair, pressing the human's head towards his chest.

Michael kept looking at his actions with curiosity and stayed there, in front of him, until the couple went inside the house. His brother surprised him by dropping a piece of the mirror on the floor. The sound made Aaron blink slowly but his eyes were still unfocused. Lucifer only moved away when they entered the room, startled at the noise. Will was the first to enter. He dropped on his knees and grabbed both forearms; Karen then came, covering her mouth with a hand, tears forming in her eyes.

He didn't want to, but Lucifer made the blood start to pour again at a slower pace, flying away when the paramedics came. Grabbing Michael's arm with him and traveling between timelines until they were in the correct one. He released him in someplace close to the Pacific Ocean.

"If you ever go to any other period of Aaron's past, I won't care about the deal we made, brother. I'll fight you and win."

Michael stayed silent, not doing anything to stop him from when Lucifer decided to go.

He looked tired.

- -

Aaron's smile didn't falter while he was eating. He had tried to erase it, noticing the odd looks he was receiving. But he couldn't. Lucifer's words still rang clear on his head. And Aaron didn't care if he was becoming too attached. Not yet, at least. He wanted to enjoy the feeling until it went away, because Lucifer didn't hate him. They were still friends.

Linda was walking by, but stopped upon seeing him, her lips curling into a smile.

"It seems like someone is happy," she said and leaned on his table. It didn't bother him. They had met in their group session and for some reason, most times, they ended together in activities. He had grown used to her. "So, what's up?"

The question was lighthearted and easy. She seemed to be having more good days lately.

Aaron could feel his dimples forming. He glanced away. "Is nothing."

"It sure looks like something, but you don't need to tell me. Is just nice seeing you so happy, Aaron."

"Thanks."

She smiled again and ruffled his hair before she left.

Aaron stood up in a good mood and started looking for a nurse so he could receive his pills, wondering if Lucifer will show up later. He wanted to question him about what he had said about Michael looking into his life and that abrupt depart.

Already in his destination, Aaron found that it was the turn of the head of nurses to give the pills. Aaron wasn't fond of her as she had been the one to sedate him many times before. Luckily, he heard Magdolna calling for him and when he turned, he saw her with two little cups in her hands. "I've got your pills, Aaron"

"Oh, hi. Haven't seen you all day." She sighed, her smile faltering. There was certain exhaustion in her posture. "What's wrong?"

She waved a hand. "Is just that a girl with BPD from the other wing broke again with his boyfriend and I had to be with her."

He took his pills. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, but I'm a little worried by the guy too. I mean, it must be really difficult for him just having a relationship with her," she said, glancing down to a paper and signing Aaron's medicine file. "Her doctor even told him that it would be better for him to stay away if he was not prepared for that kind of relationship. They can be too consuming, you know."

Aaron felt tense at the words. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she doesn't even know if it's love or just her being clingy. She tries to be independent and look as if she doesn't need any company every time they break, but then she harms herself because she can't handle the rejection. We had to put her down because she hadn't slept in two days, barely ate."

Uneasiness started to creep inside Aaron. He remembered his friends at Stanford and how he had done exactly the same. How he had been with friends before pushing them away, afraid of forming relationships because he grew attached too quickly at the people that showed him any sight of affection. The things he had done were what made Karen and Will notice his state. The things he had done for others were what sometimes kept him awake at night. Preferring to be alone, not wanting others to notice how bad he had gotten, Aaron had perfected the action of making others forget about him. Or maybe not forget, but to not care. He wondered if what he was feeling with Lucifer was just that: he feeling needy for affection. From someone who wasn't family and couldn't throw him away without feeling remorse.

"─been with her, trying to calm her down. She needs constant watching so…" Magdolna stopped talking. Aaron glanced at her. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't be telling you this, is just that─"

"It's okay," Aaron said absently, trying to smile, "I like to hear other people. It's okay."

Aaron couldn't see her face well when she glanced down. "I should go and return to that wing. I've already made my job here, just wanted to say hi."

"Anytime."

Aaron walked out first, not looking down as he went to his room. He could feel the pill on his throat. Thick and sour. He closed his door's room and breathed a couple of times until he calmed down. He grabbed the book he was previously reading and searched for the page he left on, trying to concentrate in other things. Other things that didn't include how pathetic he was.

He glanced at the desk where the white crayon that Lucifer gave him still was. Its color reminded him of himself. Irrelevant and unnecessary as he was.