Chapter 11 — THE TRUTH

"W-what?",I ask him stuttering when he says that three words

"I said 'I love you' ",he speak holding tightly my hands smiling cutely at me

I look at our hands that are holding tightly fitting perfectly.I look up at him with a sad smile.I,I can't do that to him.Not again.I don't want to hurt him again.When he touch my hands a shiver travel all my body not knowing this feelings.Right now I feel safe and loved,but I can't feel this.I can't take this to this good and caring person.

"No,no,no is not true!",I says shaking my head pulling out my hands ruffle my hair

"I,I don't understand",he speak not knowing what I am talking

"I can't be with you!",I says to him holding tightly my tears that they want to escape

"Why!?",he ask me pulling my body to be closer to his

His hands are on my waist being very close to his body.In his shirt I can feel his muscle.I put my hands on his chest trying to escape on his hug,but I can't do it he is very strong.I want to leave me alone.I can't be here.Everytime I saw him he reminds me what I've done to him.

"Because it reminds me what I've done to you and I can't hold this pain!",I says pulling out on his strong hug escape immediately

Jungkook looks at me shocked for what I says.He try to came closer to me,but I lift up my hand stopping him to not come closer to me.Right now I can't look at his eyes.I feel miserable for what I did to him.

"Eunha.....",he whisper my name making me to shake my head

Please,Jungkook,don't say my name.

"....please don't leave me!",he begged me with his teary eyes

I can't take this anymore.I don't want to suffer neither Jungkook.All I want is to be with him,but I can't because I know that I made a mistake and I hurt him al lot.

"I'm....I'm sorry,Jungkook",I whisper to him with a sadness tone before I leave letting him alone on the hall

I cried a lot.I ruffle my hair starting to cry on the street.People are looking at me some with concerned in their face another are look confused why I am crying in the middle of the street.

Right now I want home to cry in my pillow on my bed.I know I hurt Jungkook feelings again and I hope he will hate me with his all heart.I did this because I want to Jungkook to hate me with all his heart.I don't deserve him.

I'm sorry,Kookie.

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The next I woke up with a big headache.Ah,my head hurts a lot.Shy do you have to hurts right now,huh?You stupid brain.I am not feelings well.What is happening with my body?

I slowly get up on my bed with a difficult because I almost faint on the floor.Ugh,what's happening with me?I start to get up on the bed,but I faint on the bed not feeling good.Why she reacts right now?

My neck is hurt,but why?Oh,I remember.Yesterday I say outside crying a lot when was raining so I think I catch a cold.Not now,please.But I think is good because I will not see Jungkook and he will can't try to talk to me.

My mom walk across my room and she stop in front of my room when she saw me looking like hell.She looks so scared when she saw me like this.It has second time when I saw her looking at me like that.First it was when she found that I have a disability to read and write.

Every night when I sleep I saw her face scared like I am dead.I don't want to see her face never.I don't want to worried about me.I don't want to sick her because of mine neither my dad.They are important to me and I don't want to sick one of them.I loved them so much that are the most important person in my life.

"Oh my good,honey,you okay!?",she ask me came into my room letting the clothes down looking at me worried

She puts his hand on my forehead."Oh God,you have fever",she says when she check my forehead

"I think I catch a cold",I speak with my shaky voice

"Be sure of that,sweety!",she says with a concerned voice."You will stay home.Go in bed and I will make you some soup,okay?",she says to me pulling a blanket in me before she leaving letting me alone on my room

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I slowly open my eyes to see a boy standing on a chair looking at the floor.My eyes are a little open so I don't see who is the person.I open a little more my eyes seeing Jungkook on the chair looking scared on the floor.

Why he is here?

He's eyes are focus on the floor,but when he saw me he kneels down his face close to my face.He put a fake smile on his face making me to don't see that his smile is fake.

"What are you doing here?",I ask him with a heavy voice

"Sana says to me that you are sick,so I came here to see that you are fine",he speak with a husky voice putting his hand on my forehead."The fever disappear",he spoke with a sigh relieved that I am safe

I look at the clock seeing that is 7 p.m and he has to be home.He is late and his parents will be worried about him.Plus tomorrow is a day of school so he has to not be sleepy or tired.

"Go home,Jungkook,it's late",I spoke breathing hardly

He puts his hands on my cheeks showing his usually bunny smile which he is making me to smile a little.He put his lips on my forehead letting their some minutes to feel his heavy breath.I froze on my bed when he do that.My eyes they are very big.I can't believe he did that.

"I will stay here until you will be okay",he speak when he pulled away for me looking deep on my eyes

"W-what?",I stutter not processing his words yet

He doesn't respond but he gave me a small smile showing his teeth and bunny smile that makes me to fall for him.Why he always smile when he is around me?He makes me weak.

"Go home,Jungkook",I says to him being concerned about him

"Aww why you have to be like this?",he ask me pouting at me trying to change my mind,but I don't do that."Meanie~",he whine looking at me with his big smile looking like a cat when he wants something

Ahh,I hate him for making my heart to beat fast like that.I roll my eyes annoyed by his aegyo.Why I have to be weak when someone is make aeygo in my face?And why he does aegyo in my face even he knows that?

"Aha,you laugh!",he exclaim pointing to my face stopping me to not laugh."Aww,why you stop laughing?I want to see your smile",he pout looking like a child

I roll my eyes trying to sit up on my butt to stand up.He try to help me to stand up,but I hit his hands to let me help myself.I look at his face being sad.He rub his neck sad for what I did.I point on the bed showing him that he can stay with me in my bed.

He looks at me with his bunny smile before he sit down beside on my bed putting his head on my lap.At first I froze on the place,but I smile when I see him smiling.I love to see him smiling.I ran my fingers through his hair slowly.His hair is so soft.

Jungkook put his hands on my leg not wanted to let me go.In my leg I can feel his heart beating faster than I heard in my life.He close his eyes sighing.

You stupid,why are you here?Why you make my heart to beat fast?Why you stay with me even I hurt your feelings?

Why,Jungkook,why?

Why you so stupid and avoid me forever?Why don't you look at another girl and you annoyed me even I hurt you.You have to avoid me and hurting me,not to be with me.I can't deserve.You are to good for me and I don't deserve.Not for what I did to you.

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When I fall asleep so fast?I try to stand on my feet,but I can't.Why,why I can't?I look down on my body seeing two arms being around my waist holding my body tightly.What the hell?I turn my head seeing Jungkook having his head on my neck sleeping peacefully.

I smile immediately when I see him.I turn my body being face in face this time.I ran my hands through his face touching his cheeks slowly because I don't to wake him up.Why you have to be good with me even you know I hurt your feelings?

Jungkook eyes open slowly smiling widely when he saw me and he kiss my cheeks making me to blush and look another way.

"Morning,beautiful",he speak with his husky voice making a shiver to travel all my body

"M-morning",I stutter making him to laugh

I hit his chest making him to burst into a laughter hard.I pout at him.I can't believe he laugh to me even I am sick.I was thinking that he will take care of me,but no he laugh to me.

His hair is ruffled because he moves his head a lot of the time last night.When he smile he smiles with his eyes.I chuckle seeing him looking like a child.I kiss his cheeks making him to blush having his eyes and mouth big before I go on bathroom having a shower.I stink and I want a shower.

I chuckle seeing his face when I kiss his cheeks.I put my hands in my lips thinking hard what I've done.I can believe I kiss his cheeks.What I've I done?How can I see his face when I did that?Ah,is so frustrating sometimes.

When I finish my shower I enter on my room seeing Jungkook who is texting in his phone.I borrow my eyebrow up thinking who is texting?What I am thinking?He can text everyone.I am not his girlfriend to know everything rhinos texting.Maybe...I am jealous?No,no I am not.I shake my head ruffle my hair.

Jungkook seeing me coming to me putting his hands on my shoulder looking deep on my eyes.He smiles kissing my forehead.

"You feel more better?",he ask me worried if I am feelings better

"Yeah",I shrug showing him a small smile

He smiles at me before pulling me into another hug.His hands are on my waist holding me tightly.I miss so much his hugs.He makes me to feel safe and loved.I put my hands on my neck pulling him closer to me.

"Thank you,Jungkook",I whisper at his ear thanked him

He pulls a little to looking at my face confused.He looks so cute when he looks at me with his face confused.He looks like a child when he lost in the mall.

"For what?",he asked me with his eyebrows up

"For everything.For forgive me for what I've done to you even I don't deserve you forgiven.For being sweet,caring,good and cute.For making me to be safe and loved.Thank you,Kookie",I says popped his nickname that he hates when someone says

His friends always calling him "Kookie" and I kinda like it.I love more "Kookie" rather than Jungkook.It's more cute than his name.His eyes are big at first when I says his nickname,but then he smile widely lifting me up start to rotate me smiling a lot.I laugh when I look at him looking like a child.

He put down not stopping to smiling.If is not stopping smiling I will say that he is looking like a creep when he wants to kill somebody.

Everytime I saw his face he reminds what I've done and I can't forgive myself.Even he forgive me for what I've done,but I will bot forgive myself.I don't deserve his forgiveness.He is to good for me and he deserve someone good,not me.

My smile disappeared immediately when I am thinking about what I've done.Jungkook saw this and when be wants to touch my cheek I slapped his hands pulling out of his hug.I turn my back to him not want to see his face.

"Go home,Jungkook,your parents are worried about you",I speak with a serious voice

He put his hands around my waist putting his head on my shoulder giving me a shiver on my body.I sigh not knowing what to do to Jungkook hate me.But I can't.I can't make him to hate me.Everytime I want to push him away everytime he come closer to me trying to make me fall for him.He can't try to make me fall for him because I love him a lot.

"I text my parents in this morning that is I'm on my friends house",he whisper in my ear feels his smile through his words

"Why you do that?You know that I hurt your feelings,but what you is to came closer to me.I was thinking you hate",I whisper having my eyes teary

Jungkook sighed."At first I hated you,but everytime I saw you with a boy smiling and laughing it makes me jealous.I want to be that boy to make you laugh and smiling and to be safe,not them",he whisper through his teeth holding my waist more tightly

Wait a minute.What did he says?He is jealous?But why?I hurt him.Why he loves me when I hurt his feelings and heart?

Why,you stupid,why?

"Please,don't leave me,not again",he begged me with his shaky face starting to shake his body

He is scared?But why he is scared?He is scared that he will lost me?He doesn't want to lost me?Ahh,why he make this situation to be so difficult to be decide?Why you try to make me to forgive myself even I made a BIG mistake?Why,Kookie,why?

"I will not leave you.I promise",I speak turning my body to face him

He looks at me shocked when I says that words.This time I say the truth.I will not leave him ever.I know I made a mistake and I don't deserve anything in this world,but Jungkook show me that when we make a mistake everyone can be forgiven and I will forgive myself too.This time I will think twice when I will make a decision.

He hug me so strong that I need to breath.Oh my goodness,please tell me that he doesn't go to gym necause I will going crazy.Why?Because he has strong arms and everytime he will hug me he will take my breath.

"Y-yah,I c-can't b-breath",I try to speak,but I can't

"Oh,sorry",he apologize to me pulling me away a little to looking deep in my eyes."You telling to your parents about your disability?",he asked me concerned and I shake my head

"I....don't know what to do",I speak putting my head in his chest hearing his heart

"You know you have to tell me,right?",he ask me run his fingers through my hair and I nod."Come on",he says taking my hands pulling me on living room

My mom and my dad are in living room looking at me confused.I bit my lip thinking what I will says to them.I don't want to make them sad.I can't hold this pain again.

"What happened,sweety?",my mom asked me worried

I look at Jungkook pulling me to be in my parents face scared.What to say?Think,Eunha,think?How you will tell them about your problem?

Me and Jungkook sitting down on the couch looking at my parents faces.In shat situations you put me,Jungkook?I bit my bottom lip sighing.

"It happens again",I start to speak looking at my parents faces.

They know very well what I am talking right now.They faces are down like mine.My eyes are teary right now,but wipe them off because I don't want to see me anybody.

"Why you didn't tell us,honey?",my mom asked me concerned about me

"I didn't want to being worried about me",I spoke softly looking at them with a small smile

"Oh,sweety",she says coming to me to pulling me into a bear hug

Me and my mom start to crying in each other shoulder.I know how much they both suffer.My dad coming to in our hug holding us tightly.I love them so much that I don't want to hurt them.

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"It goes thirty minutes.I think I have to go in there!",I tell my mom pointing to my dad office

"No,sweety,let them to talk",she says chuckle to me

I roll my eyes chuckle myself.Thirty minutes my father see Jungkook on the couch beside and he wasn't happy when he sad him.So,he take him to his office to discuss something.I don't know what they discuss,but one thing I know right now I have to help him to escape at that room.

To dad when it comes to boys he is very protective with me.Every boy that I talked he become protective like Jungkook.Sometimes I think that they are father and son.They looks similar when it comes to boys.They are so protective with me.I am worried about him that he can hurt him.I don't want to hurt him.I love him.

I have to do something even my mom not let me to do something.I get up on the couch going to the door hearing some yells and I make eyes big.I can't believe that my dad hurts him.I will hurt him too if he hurt Jungkook.I burst in the room making two of them to look on me with big eyes and mouth.

"Let him alone,dad!",I yell at him scared that he is hurt or something

I don't want to hurt him.I love him.