Acset Series: The Scorpio's Stone
On the way home, Kazuya Eiyuu bought food to eat for tonight in the nearest grocery store, and after he bought it, he exited the grocery store.
Like a red thread connected by fate, he passed a mysterious girl, shoulder by shoulder, and at the same time, the door opens.
He doesn't think that much when passes her, it was like an ordinary thing that happened in a grocery store, you think there's a person pass a girl and turn around, shouting,
“You! Have we ever met before?”
In a romance novel, yup, in real life, probably. Back to topic, after passes her. He stands in front of a vending machine besides the grocery store's door.
He chose the brand and insert the money, but the vending machine somehow doesn't accept his money, instead. 'Please enter different one.'
'Please enter different one your mother, this is the last money I have!' He thought to himself.
He grabs his money, and fix any curves on the money so it looked like a new one, he put the money back, and then the vending machine accepts it.
The brand he chose fell down and he crouch down to grab it, then the mysterious girl come out from the grocery store. He instintively looked at her and wondering why a girl that cute walking alone in the middle of the night.
As a man he wanted to help her but she came here on her own accordance and should prepare the risk, she must have tricks up to her sleeve, so he ignored her. He waits until her figure disappeared to the street walls.
Grabs the coffee can and walked away from the grocery store, he opened the seal and drink it.
A few minutes later, there's a left turn infront of him, he keep walking forward without turning his head, meanwhile on his left, the mysterious girl, the one he saw from the grocery store, is approached by six adults.
After passed it, he realized what just happened, he quickly saves her and after that, his consciousness slowly fade away and the next thing he knew, he is in a different world, place, and even time!
Look at the good side, you don't have to meet Truck-kun!
Okay, so... This novel will be really successful in the future. The details and writing quality is very well done. There are a few grammatical errors though. The story is clearly amazing from the beginning. The characters are also very well written and the world background plus the action sequences is just beautiful.
I loved Matrix, I liked movies like Equilibrium, Minority Raport, Butterfly Effect, Inception,... etc... so your story has been added to my library. Definitely I will follow ;) The idea is interesting, but to keep it to high standard might be chalenging... I wish you a good inspiration!
Well then, I am not the biggest reader of system type of stories or isekai, but I do read a few like Shield hero, Arifureta, Re:zero, or Overlord. With that said let's begin, shall we. First off, the setting, it's very well done and quite the attention grabber right from the start, now the characters they are well made, well written, engaiging and funny! Now, the writting is good, but it needs work grammar wise (and don't get the wrong idea, I am a strong believer that bad grammar, dosen't hinder a story, nor renders it like many say "unreadable" That is not something that in my opinion hinders a good story and it can be fixed with ease, and me too I make mistakes, lot's of them) All in all, this is a good story with great potencial, and don't let the few grammar mistakes will ruin it for you! As for the Author keep it going, my friend you have something good here!
Hello! I really like how the story is progressing! However I notice a bit of grammatical errors within the text. I suggest studying a little more about grammar. I too, struggle with the English from time to time. Anyways, I look forward to the story's growth and I wish you the best of luck! :3
Hey there. I really like your book and want to witness you becoming a successful author. I'm not much of a great author but I think I can call myself a low level author. Well then, please follow some of my tips and you might reach your goal. First of all, you should increase the updating stability of your novel. Please upload at least two to three chapters per week. You can also decrease the word count for a single chapter. I would recommend you to create a chapter which contains almost 1000-1900 words ,not more than that. You should also improve your Grammar. You should download some apps like gramarly which would definitely help you. After creating a chapter, before uploading it, you should read it completely for once and correct any grammatical mistake or punctuation error. Now that's for all, I really like the concept of your novel. I would love to read more chapters. ;)
Interesting Book. Well done Author The novel has a good plot and is promising. I love the pacing of the novel and the way writer writes the story. The writer is successful in appealing to the readers . At last the novel is overall nice and will desperately wait for the next chapters to release And hope that the writer will continue this awesome work and will evolve even more with time . Mine best wishes are always with you .[img=recommend][img=recommend]
Reveal Spoiler
I like how the story is progressing. Well constructed and coordinated plot along with characters sketching. Well thought out concept and descriptively designed background. Good job author!
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact keraringdom@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
I gotta say, the story is interesting, I want to see the progressive not gonna lie, though there are some negative points and I'm not going to say it. Can't wait to see more.
Nice to meet you fellow Daoist, I don't know how to say it. Your way to toss good ideas one after another to the story is like someone that I know that said drawing a long plot is just bothersome. It will be interesting to just make an interesting short plot, and then find a suitable path to continue the story. It is a good way to write. And It will be fun. the reader will find the story is like a roller coaster, and it is addicting. My only suggestion is don't make a plot that will make your protagonist too strong. You will find it difficult to make opponents who is stronger than him. And the story will stuck. It was a fun novel. Thanks...
Don't mind me, just self-rating my own book, and oh yeah, if you wondering what this book about and worried that you waste time reading it, I can assure you that this book is worth your time, and maybe you could learn a thing or two. What kind of book doesn't leave advice or morale? Anotoki P.S. If my work different than what you imagine, I am very sorry!