They Wake

     The countless bright lights are enough to bring a rush of memories in Anael. How long has it been? She thought, trying to clear the haziness in her head. It felt like it happened years ago, the memory of her declaring that she  will volunteer for Tanner's experiment. Why had she done it? What are the reasons? Countless, incoherent questions swirled inside her head as she tried  search for the answers, tried to dive deeper inside her mind and hope that she'll stumble on something important.

     What was she like before the experiment happened, who are her friends, her enemies? Did she even have a family, someone that looked out for her back then? Or did she live alone. Where did she live? She once considered to ask Tanner, or Vincent, or even Diana, the three persons that she last saw before her mind left a black hole. She couldn't remember her conversations with them, but she always got flashes of their faces in different places.

     She looked around at the empty halls outside. It's been days since she was allowed to get out of her quarter by her own will. The last time she got out of her quarter was when Tanner said that the first thing that she has to do as a god wielder has come. It turned out that Tanner brought her to Theios just because he needed to show her off. At that time, Anael didn't know what to think of herself or what she would react. The surging feeling of power, of heat, just bursted out of her like it was being called. She remembered the burning feeling inside her bones and the waves of energy cursing inside her. She felt amazing, but terrified.

     Deep inside her is another being, one that has its own thinking, but still syncing with her. What will she do if it got out of control, if she can no longer hold it like she did before?

     Tanner told her that there is nothing to worry about, that the god's core, the god that she knew nothing about, is completely matching her body and her thinking. But Tanner knew nothing about it, he didn't feel what Anael felt, nor experienced the strange urge to be out of control. The power inside her, whatever it was, is feral.

     Tanner kept repeating back then that she had it in control, boasting about his success and shaming Reina Dominique, but he was wrong. Anael couldn't control herself fully, and she felt like she was about to explode in pieces, completely erasing her human nature. She agreed with Reina Dominique, whoever she was, but then again, she has her own reasons to do and volunteer for Tanner's experiment, although she couldn't remember it.

     Anael curled around on her bed, feeling the cold kiss of the sheets on her skin. She wanted answers, wanted a purpose. She wanted someone to repeat the same words she heard for her to decide to be like this. Even Vincent's words will be welcomed, even Tanner's. She wanted to see the other subjects, to ask them why they did it. Why they volunteered. The purpose. What's the purpose?

     Something clicked, and Anael turned around. In front of her was the friendly face of Vincent Chase. He's still wearing that same smile that he used the first time Anael saw him and talked to him. Something immediately Anael off about the man. The friendly smile he always wear, is it a facade? Or is genuine? She will never know. Despite her thoughts about him, Anael couldn't help but to feel slightly relieved. At least she has someone she can ask, someone that can put her mind at ease, even for a bit.

      "How's it going, subject three?" Vincent asked, just like the last time Anael saw him. And the time after that. He'll  always have the same greeting.

     Anael felt her lips part, but nothing came out. What exactly is going? She doesn't know either.

     Usually, Vincent will get comfortable in front of her, seat on something or lean towards the walls with a smile on his face. But this time, he stayed on his feet like any minute now, he'll bolt out of the door and leave Anael behind. What's going on? Is something happening outside again? Will she be able to leave this room?

     "There's something you need to know, subject three," Vincent said in a hushed voice, his eyes glinting and squinting in unknown excitement. "The others are awake."

     She felt like her whole system froze. "The others?"

     She must have sounded bored or unamused, not even shocked, because Vincent gave her a serious look, the slight excitement in his face suddenly gone like a puff of smoke. "You can't possibly forget them. The other subjects, Shiina Mashiro and Ygnil Bard."

     "I didn't forget them," She answered meekly. "I simply don't know what to say. What to act."

     The look on Vincent's face softened. It was the look someone would make when they found some wet and stray puppy that's about to die. Pity. Vincent sighed, a soft, tired sound. Fixing his glasses, he then offered a smile to Anael and said, "Do you want to see them?"

     "Are they like me?" Anael questioned as an answer.

     "Of course. They succeeded to adapt—"

     "Did they lose their memories, too?"

     Vincent's features turned serious, a thing that rarely happens. Even around his colleagues, he barely even look serious, always have a witty and friendly look on his face. "Why don't you find out for yourself, subject three?"

     For the third time, Anael left her quarters, following the trails behind Vincent, not exactly sure where they will go. Following someoen made her uncomfortable for some reason, to the point that she wanted to ask Vincent where they're heading and lead the way herself. She can tell that she's not used of following, and she wondered why. Shrugging  off the useless thought, she focused her eyes to where they were going.

     They passed several hallways, some scientists that looked too busy on minding their own business that they didn't even bat an eyelash towards Anael, unlike what she experienced back when she was with Tanner. The paths they were tracking turned downwards, into a modern-tunnel, without anyone on sight.

     "It's rather creepy here," Anael heard Vincent mutter under his breath. There was nothing creepy  about the place. It was only quiet. Quiet enough that you can hear your own heartbeat. "I don't know what Tanner's trip, but why place the subjects in the underground labaratory?"

     Seconds passed, and the Vincent grew quiet, realizing that he's basically just talking to himself.

     "You're so quiet," He mentioned. "I wonder what happened to your confident and icy self."

     "I do not know either." Anael answered.

     Vincent glanced back to Anael, his thin framed glasses reflecting the cold  lights of the tunnel-like hallways of the underground facility. He let out a low sigh and said, "Will you believe me that the first time we met, you pointed a gun to my face?"

     Anael did not know why Vincent's trying to start a conversation, because for one, he should be more professional and composed, not too friendly and talkative, but Anael didn't mind the small details yet, actually interested of what Vincent has got to say. If he met her in her past state, she might actually know something about herself. What she was, what she did. Her words and her actions. She wanted to know.

     "Yes," Anael replied, glancing at the metallic doors that they were passing. "I can picture myself doing that."

     Vincent chuckled, a low and pleasing sound bouncing  on the walls surrounding them. As if reading her thoughts, Vincent said, "Do you want me to tell you what I thought of you back  then?"

     "If you may," Anael answered, nodding even Vincent couldn't see her.

     "As everyone did, I expected highly of you," Vincent started, which dampened Anael's empty mood for some reason. Why? "I thought, how can someone actually risk their lives and volunteer for something they're not even sure of? You were the one who demanded to see Tanner, demanded to make you one of his subject. I was shocked, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who felt that way."

     Anael wanted to say something, to ask questions. Did Vincent has any idea why she did it? Just an idea will be enough. Opinions or theories that he created inside his head, but she didn't say anything. The last thing she wanted to be is to look like a clueless sheep that's lost inside a pack of wolves.

     "We all had doubts, even Tanner—which rarely happened. It's not everyday we get an agent of Aegis standing right in front of our doorstep, demanding to be tested on," Vincent continued, seemingly oblivious of the dead words stuck in Anael's tounge. "But, right after you said that you're one of the specialized agents of Aegis, we took you in. Put you in the aptitude test and afterwards conducted the experiment."

     What was I back then? Anael asked inside her mind. Tell me more. Don't be practical.

     "I got to admit it, subject three, I  never  really thought that you'd make it this far," Vincent said, pulling Anael from inside her own head. "But, I guess we all make mistakes, because look at you now. Your memories may be gone, but the rest is just spectacular."

     "I still want to remember," Anael said.

     Vincent waved his hand lazily and then let out a breathy chuckle, "Don't worry, I get that. You'll get them back soon enough. I told you, didn't I? It's just one of the side-effects of the experiment. Some of your memories might have been put out because of the strong nature and instinct of the god that's put inside you. Your thoughts, your mental capability, must have adapted to the god's, causing your memories go into sleep mode."

     "Back then, what was I?" Anael couldn't help but to ask.  "Before conducting the experiment on me, did you learn where I am from? How old I am? My life before anything happened at all?"

     "You see, we tried to ask you, for it's one of our protocols. We can't just conduct an experiment on someone that we don't have any idea who, but you never said anything. The Aegis's  information database are blank about you, too. You told us to just get over with it," Vincent said, making air quotes. "And we did, without knowing anything about you. Diana and Tanner managed to get some informations out from you personally, but it's too bland to even consider as information at all."

     "What are those?"

     Vincent shrugged, offering a funny look at Anael. "I don't know. It has been years since the three  of us  actually shared something with each other besides the obvious things."

     An idea lit up Anael's mind. She can ask them herself, ask if the past her said and stated her reasons. Vincent may have said that she said nothing, but she can never be sure with him. All she wanted is to know something, just a little bit about her past self. Asking Tanner might be a good idea if he's not too loud, and Diana... She never spoke to Diana, just that one time—what time? She couldn't remember, couldn't even fully recognize if it was Diana or not. The only one that she can remember clearly was Niell Tanner.

     "Don't stress about it," Vincent said as they stop at the end of the longest tunnel ever that Anael has been. In front of them was a glass door, and sure enough, inside was Tanner and Diana, and two persons that has their back on them. "Save it for later."

     A wild feeling of suddenly surged inside Anael. What is she going to do?  Will she ask them questions? Will she remember them once she sees their faces? As Vincent verified himself in the security system of the very room, the thick, glass doors slid with a smooth and pleasing sound.

       It was enough to take everyone's attention. Tanner shifted his look from the two persons in front of him to her and Vincent, and so did Diana. The moment Anael saw the Diana's face, she remembered her immediately. The cold look, the quiet surrounding her. Diana Sandoval's gray, piercing eyes told her that she's not ecavtky happy of what's happening. In contrast, a pleased look appeared on Tanner's face right after he saw Anael and she couldn't tell why.

     "You're here," Tanner said, looking directly at Anael. Tanner  glanced at the two person in front of him, wearing nothing but labaratory gowns, smirked and then continued, "Subject three."

     A fraction of second passed, and the two was suddenly looking at her. The girl—if she can remember—whose name is Shiina Mashiro, has the every shade of confusion etched on every part of her smooth skin. She looked at Anael like someone that she never saw before, the look of unfamiliarity. In that moment, Anael Price learned that she and the girl never met each other. Mashiro's tired, smoldering red and dark eyes looked bewildered for a second, then it disappared, like she immediately lost her interest in Anael Price, as she stare back at Tanner.

     Anael continued to look at her, unconsciously denying the  obvious fact that they never saw each other before. As hard as she stare, as she study the girl's posture, her shape, the slender parts of her back, nothing came back to her.

     "El?" Just the deep and rich voice of the second subject—Ygnil Bard—was enough to bring some flashes inside Anael's mind. The memory is faint that she didn't feel her brain cracking at all, but it was enough.

     She knew Ygnil Bard, she was familiar with his bright, blue eyes, the color of clear water, cool but not cold, a pleasing color—just like the feeling he gave her. The hard lines of his jaw and how his face contorted with different emotions. As she and Ygnil stare at each other, Anael got the feeling  of that was completely opposite with the one she got from Mashiro. Something about him triggered a strange emotion in her to smile, to laugh, the pleasing emotions. The warm ones. Are those the things she used to do when her past self was with Bard? Was she that close with him?

     But things are different now. She couldn't even bring herself to sya his name, just like what Bard did with her. She couldn't even smile. What she got are just a fraction of feeling, so faint, but she guessed it was enough. She never remembered  anything important. Ygnil Bard is a stranger to her now.

     But why? She found herself asking. She and Mashiro may have never seen each other in the past, or not too  frequent that she never remembered her, but Ygnil Bard is a different case. He remembered Anael. He still have his memories, and that may be the case with Shiina Mashiro, too. If they still have their memories, why doesn't she? Vincent told her it was the one of the side-effects, but why did it only affect her?

     She tried to bring her lips to speak, but Tanner interrupted her. "Save the reunion for later, please." He said, raising his hands in a commanding way. Ygnil Bard immediately tore his eyes off Anael Price. "We brought you here to tell you that everything we expected. The moment that Shiina Mashiro and Ygnil Bard recovers, the three of you will leave this place to be trained in Theios. With your new-found strenght and skills, you will be considered as a threat. Going outside without getting used will be genocide. The power of the gods surpasses every weapon—everything, that the new world have."

     "Tell us something we don't know, doctor," Mashiro said, taking Anael aback, but not the others. This means that might have already familiarized themselves with Mashiro. Or they already know her. Why doesn't Anael? "And you never told us why we competed the process differently. Why are we late?"

     Bard looked at her slight irritation, "You are thinking about that?"

     Before saying anything back, Mashiro threw a hateful look at Anael's way, who has no idea what's happening. "Aren't you curious, Bard?" She said in a hushed tone, cool and unfriendly. "Subject three completed the process ahead of us."

      Anael Price wondered what her past self will say or react if she's  in this situation. Will she keep quiet or state the facts? But it was pointless for her past self is not her. Now, she's a blank slate, an empty being.

     "I... I don't know," Anael said in a low voice.

     Mashiro stared at her—hard, before scoffing.

     "Going back," Tanner's voice lost the friendly tone he used earlier, and was replaced with his usual tone—hard and demanding. Commanding. "I'm aware that we made deals before this. Shiina Mashiro and Ygnil Bard, your conditions will be granted right after you leave this place. Aegis will  provide everything you wish for." 

     "What about mine?" Anael asked, looking at Tanner.

     "As far as I can remember, you never demanded from us. But, please, spare the worries. You will be treated fairly." Tanner answered, offering her a look that she couldn't figure out.

     Why did I do that? She asked herself. There were 'deals.' What kind of person her past self is? What  are her reasons? She wanted to hurt herself in frustration. Meeting the two subjects aren't enough to ignite memories back to her. Maybe Ygnil Bard can tell her some things, but can she really trust him?  She can tell that she was familiar with the guy, but what if everything she thought was wrong?

     "How long will it take for us to recover?" Ygnil Bard asked, looking at the three scientists. "I'm aware that we completed the experiment a bit sooner than we anticipated, will that affect our recovery, too?"

     "Don't worry. Your progress won't affect anything besides your being. It won't take long for your body to fully adjust itself. Seventy two hours." Vincent answered, offering a  smile at Ygnil Bard's way. He looked so genuine and friendly that Ygnil's lip quirked, fighting the urge to smile back.

     Ygnil Bard nodded at him,  looking grateful. It also seemed  like they know each other before any of this. They all know each other—or aware of eveyone's existence—except Anael Price. She felt like she's lost in a crowd full of strangers—willingly. Why had she done it? She found herself asking again, only to remember that asking  herself won't be helpful, for she couldn't even remember her reasons.

     "Ugh. I'm so tired of this nonsensical talk." Shiina Mashiro muttered. She looked at Price and Bard, granted and then said, "The two of them can stay here and take their sweet time, but I came here knowing my purposes. Being here will be a waste of time. Recovering won't be  necessary. For god's sake, we spend two months sleeping in some cocoon and now you want to make us do it again?"

     "We understand your anticipation," Sandoval said in the first time, fixing her glasses as she gaze at Shiina Mashiro. "But, we cannot risk your life and our visions just because you could not control yourself. Throwing yourself outside without proper recovery and adaptation will be suicide."

     Shiina Mashiro didn't say anything, and just glared at Diana under her lashes.

     "Nevertheless, everything did go as planned," Tanner said, giving the three subjects a friendly look that took him several minutes to come up with again. Everyone knew it was fake, but whenever did it, it looked genuine and raw. "All of us—all of you, have the chance to save humankind. You will be the new heroes of this ruined world."

     No one said anything, looking at Tanner with these unreadable look on their faces, except Shiina Mashiro. She looked at Tanner with disgust, her face all scrunched up. She shook her head, muttering be word unbelievable and got up from the bed where she and sat. Giving the others a tired and bored look, she said, "We all know that's a lie, right?"

     Anael  wondered where Mashiro got the guts to say that, with Tanner in front of her. Is she just overly confident, brave, reckless or simply frank? There must be  something about her to have the guts to says such a thing, and not get cursed and yelled by Tanner like he always did with his colleagues. Tanner simply offered her as smile without saying anything. Anael has never seen Tanner act that way. In the past few days, she always saw Tanner ordering everyone around, making them feel inferior and booming at them if ever someone tries to oppose his opinions.

     "Whatever," Shiina Mashiro said, waving her hand in a dismissive manner. "Of course we're here to save the world. Of course we're so kind-hearted, genuine and determined to destroy the gods and help humanity reserve their usuless ass and live in the next ten years or so."

     "Yes, that is the purp—"

     "Who am I, kidding?" Mashiro cut off Diana, a dead look on her face. Sandoval's eyes glared colder than before, but Shiina Mashiro shrugged, completely  throwing everything off.  "But that's okay. We're going to fight gods one way or another. Where's my quarter?"

     Everyone stared at her for a couple of seconds, even Tanner lost the smiling face he had a just seconds ago. I'm contrary, Shiina Mashiro looked completely unbothered, her face feeling everyone that she doesn't care if anyone was offended or slightly hating on her right at that very moment.

     "In the second facility," Vincent answered. "I trust that you still know your way here? If you want to...fix yourself, you can always ask for the caretakers' assistance."

     "I know what I'll do," She replied. "I know this place like the back of my hand." with that, and a last sharp look that she threw at the others, she left the lab like nothing happened.

     For a moment, no one said anything, but Vincent decided to break the growing silence. "I have never met someone so disrespectful my whole life," He mused, and he should be sounding disappointed, but instead, he sound impressed. "She reminds me of her father."

     "Commenting will do nothing and will be a waste of time," Diana Sandoval said, looking sternly at Vincent Chase. She averted her gaze from Vincent to Tanner, her facial features suddenly turning poker. "Doctor Tanner?"

     Tanner, who still had the fuzed and tight smiling look  on  his face, said, "You and Chase take care of things. I still have things to do." He said then  looked at thet two remaining subjects, "for Mashiro made her exit, only you two will be tested in the hologram. In thatw way, we can see the results of the experiment, especially on you, Ygnil Bard. I take that you're curious of what has become of you?"

     "Isn't it a little too soon for subject two to be tested?" Vincent asked. "He just completed the last phase, seeing the results and making him trigger the his godly side will be dangerous," Vincent's tired eyes flickered to Anael, "Just like what happened to subject three. Her, forcing and  triggering her part almost put her in a critical state."

     Of course, Anael thought. Right after she was taken out of her pod and giving her the informations she needs, Tanner got her to enter the NEXUS' hologram, where the atmosphere helped her to focus on the other part of herself—the godly one. She can still remember the place, a city filled with ruins, the sky blood red and dry. A  part of her knew that it's how the city of Arcane looked outside the walls, destroyed and hopeless.

     According to Tanner, it actumy took her faster to activate and wake her ander part, the part of the god, although it felt like forever for her. She still remembered the feeling, like a candle being lit for the first time, a gun shooting bullets for the first time. It was escstatic, but it weakened her. She felt like a new-born child, taking in her first breath. She felt dangerous the whole time, terrified and shocked. Seeing herself in such a form was disorienting. She remembered the feeling of shooting right into the sky, inhaling the hot and burning air around her, the sun reflecting on her golden-skin. The feeling of getting out of control, of not being able to control, as she fell downward.

     "I see," Tanner said, interrupting Anael's thoughts. "Of course we can't afford subject two's safety."

     A relieved look appeared on Ygnil's tense face. Anael can tell he was afraid. Who won't be?

     "Just make sure that he will be ready if the time comes. Controlling their Anda will be difficult, so they had to  get used to it before leaving NEXUS." Tanner said, loong at Sandoval and Chase expectantly. "After all, it would be hard to disappoint the Liberators, right after the things I promised and made them expect."

     "Yes, doctor," Sandoval answered directly. Chase, on  the other hand, looked slightly irritated.

     Tanner just nodded at the two scientists and gave the two subjects a kind smile. "Remember your purpose. NEXUS gave you everything, the power to stand a chance against a god." He said. "You are living a different life now. No turning back, to doubts, no second thoughts. Do what everyone expects you to do."

     And with that, he left the four, his words having the weight of the sky on their shoulders.