16 - Lessons for everyone!
"Seems you are harder to kill than I previously thought." comes the voice.
Just darkness. In front of me is a darker shape in which I can see stars.
"And you are skimping on the illusions. Is this a more true representation?" I say.
The surroundings change to a dimly lit room. I'm reclining on some cushions and dressed in a gold shirt? I quickly check. Little gold badge. Uh huh. I look up. Among the dancers wearing barely enough fabric for a handkerchief is 'Shayla'. She sashays over and leans in.
"Come here often?" she says.
"Wrong type of green slave woman." I say dryly.
"Does that matter?" says the Dark Side as she kneels in front of me. "Come on. Just once. Wont even try and bring you over to the Dark Side. Guilt free, I'm not half your age."
"Really? What is our age gap measured in? Thousands? Millions? Billions?" I say backing up a bit. My foot slips on a cushion and I fall on my back. The Dark Side crawls over until we are face to face.
"Now, you know better than to ask a woman her age." she says.
"Dee-Jay!" Anakin? "Wake up!"
"Got to go. Business before, whatever this is." I say.
-----
I open my eyes. Same medical room, same bed. Darth Vader in training waiting in a chair. After a quick check I find I can move my arms and legs this time. Mind much clearer too.
"Anakin! Good to see you. How's the racer?" I say.
"Oh, we're doing great. My racer is going to be in the finals." says Anakin.
"That's amazing Anakin. Congratulations. How's the other matter?"
Anakin reddens, you are such a teenager.
"I played it a few more times. Then I got busy. With the racer and all. So I told R2 to put it in deep storage. It's okay, I know it's there." he says.
"Well done Anakin. Remember, emotions and feelings are fine, but we rule them. Not the other way round." I say.
Anakin nods in what he must think is a sage manner but is a little silly on a teenager.
"So, Shayla raced all the way from Naboo to here. Just in time too." says Anakin. He pauses and gives me a pointed look. "Is she your girlfriend?"
I pause. Not out of embarrassment, but because I know this place too well. Genre convention practically demands she walk in to get half of the message and interpret it in the worst possible way.
"You can ask us both and judge for yourself. Come in Shayla." I say. The door opens as Shayla walks in.
"Do you know where I am all the time?" asks Shayla.
"I do not know. I could sense you just outside. How would you feel if I could?" I ask.
"I think, I would like that. You could find me wherever I was." says Shayla.
"I have an idea to test that after they let me out. Any idea when that will be?" I say.
Shayla examines her pad. "We are going to keep you observed for another day. The poisoning was very strange. Just in random tissues. I suppose that you will tell me that was because of the Force." Shayla says.
"It's an answer you will have to get used to, you know." I say.
"So, are you two boyfriend and girlfriend?" asks Anakin, finally unable to remain quiet.
"I want to be." says Shayla.
"Yes. It's a good way to tell if we really are in love with each other," I say.
"Don't you know?" says Anakin, a little puzzled.
"Love is not simple Anakin. There are too many cautionary tales, both real and fictional, which end tragically because people thought they were in love without bothering to check if they really were." I say. You're in that category, by the way.
"Are you saying it's complicated?" says Anakin.
"Most things are Anakin. You should be wary of those who say things are simple. Just as it will take many years for you to learn how to use the Force, engineering or being, say, a starfighter pilot, so it is with being in love." I say. I then look at Shayla "It can take a lifetime."
Shayla smiles, a good sign.
"That long?" says Anakin.
"Maybe even longer. Shayla and I have several large power issues to work out. For example, Shayla is an educated woman with a Galactic level education. I only learned to read a few years ago. Practically a barbarian savage."
"Is that true?" ask Shayla her eyes wide.
"Yes, until only recently if you had cut off my index finger I would have been illiterate. I have been catching up as best I can. I bring it up as something you probably didn't know about me.."
Anakin laughs. "He can't use a spoink either. Mom thinks it's hilarious."
So that explains the uniformity of dishes served when I have been invited to Chez Skywalker for dinner.
"There is that. I recommend keeping me away from fine eating establishments." I say.
"Do you have any useful skills?" says Shayla.
"Can sing, can dance, can handle a lightsabre a little." I say.
"Well, I know just how to begin your education." says Shayla smiling. She then turns and walks briskly out the door. I look at my charge.
"Well, comments traitor?" I say.
"Traitor?" says Anakin.
"You brought up my appalling eating habits. Anyway Anakin, you have several questions." I say.
"I thought you and Hera. She would be much better for you." says Anakin.
"Why is that?" I say and wait while Anakin struggles to evolve 'You're both old'. "Is it because we are similar in age?"
Anakin nods. "Yes. And you are both Jedi. It would work out better."
"It probably would. The Force grants us tremendous power that anyone not as gifted cannot hope to match. We also must be forever be wary of the Dark Side, If we fall, any normal partner could be killed with but an angry thought." I say. Yeah. Looking at you Darth Chokes a Lot.
Anakin just stares.
"Padme." is all he says.
"Yes Anakin. This is why the Jedi are so cautious about love and attachment. More than anyone else in the Galaxy, we Jedi must be sure we are truly in love and not anything else. We do not say we would never do anything terrible, instead we must remain vigilant against that, ever mindful of the consequences should we fall." I say.
Anakin continues to look at me. Serious lesson is serious.
"What do I do?" he says quietly.
"We must be mindful. We listen to the Force. And the women, do you know what Padme wants?"
Anakin looks at me like I have asked him to divide by zero. Don't worry, you're still only thirteen.
-----
"Well, yes, sir, I must confess that I did gather the substance of the conversation." I read out loud.
"Very well then. You agree with me that the situation is a lulu?" reads Shayla affecting a high Naboo accent.
"Certainly a somewhat sharp crisis in your affairs would appear to have been precipitated, sir." I read.
I'm reading some of the funniest prose in the English language. With an alien woman, on an alien planet in a galaxy that has never heard of England or the crazy language it spawned. And yet here I am, on a date, beside the border of an energy shield while a snowstorm blasts the other side.
I'm on a date. That's the bit that is truly weird. I have kind of, sort of, mostly, got used to everything else. The aliens, technology and vistas sort of just wash over you after a while. Even the tales lifted almost wholesale in some weird memetic overlay makes some sense. It remains that I haven't been on an actual date in over twenty years. Yes, like any married couple Sharon and I had 'date nights', but that's a far cry from the whole 'getting to know you' ritual. It's totally something I never expected to really do again, in any galaxy. Not seriously. Should I mention I'm completely out of practice?
"You have stopped again." accuses Shayla.
I stare at the mishmash of characters that is aurebesh. I can read now, unless I am tired, stressed or, distracted. Hot green space babes leaning into me as she shares her love of PJ Wodehouse, sorry Poja Wodhut with me could be a perfect example of distracting.
"I am sorry. Aunts in Turkana was it?" I say sorting out the characters. I place my finger on the reader where I think the correct place is. Shayla reaches out and moves my hand to where it should be.
"Read it with me." she says and guides my hand.
"Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts." as we both resume reading together this Galaxy's version of The Code of the Woosters.
-----
"Ninety-nine, One hundred. Coming, ready or not." I call out over the drifts just outside the weather shield.
I scan the area quickly. I am playing hide n seek. I thought Shayla would be apprehensive about playing a game that could easily remind her of the past. She doesn't see it that way at all. Rather as search and rescue. All a matter of perspective really.
Speaking of which, I cannot see my elusive quarry, dressed as she is, all in white, white coat, white leggings with a white scarf and hood. Shayla doesn't so much hide, as vanish.
I close my eyes. Stretch out with senses that have nothing to do with light, noise, smell or vibration. There. I really can see her in my mind. I wonder about the range as I set of after her.
She is 'hiding' in a small depression. As I approach I sense a small spike of amusement and I duck, feeling an object whiz above me.
"I saw that." I say as I run over and reach down to help pull her out. There is another mental spike. I ignore it and am pulled over into the pit.
"You really can see where I am." she says holding me.
"All the time. How does it feel?" I say.
"Safe." comes the reply.
-----
Skip, skip, skip. Turn your partner. Skip, skip, skip. Beat, clap, beat, clap. Spin your partner to the centre. Now strut clockwise, no spinwards round the circle and, stomp.
"Hey!"
Strut driftwise back. Receive your partner and bow.
It is after the end of the final race. To everyone's amazement but mine the new wonderkid of Layferra has performed another miracle. The silver racer won. We are celebrating, listening to music and dancing. To the the astonishment of everyone the Jedi knows many of the Corellian round dances. This universe never ceases to surprise me.
"You really can dance." says Shayla laughing. "Do you sing as well?"
"A little." I say as I lift her up for a kiss.
As I said, never ceases to surprise me.
That night after kissing Shayla goodnight, returning to Layferra and going to bed, I stare at the roof, unable to sleep. I knew this would be difficult, if not impossible. Train Anakin Skywalker, the modern doomed hero, prevent him falling to the Dark Side and defeat Palpatine, incarnation of evil. Make sure The Empire never rises and save trillions of lives. I have the Force as my ally and some foreknowledge. It seemed such a great adventure, that opportunity to see if I really was on the side of the angels after all. No-one said anything about falling in love again.
-----
"Relax. We still have six hours of transit." I say to Hera. We are aboard a fast liner to Coruscant. On my left Shayla has fallen asleep. Transit really is hard on her. On my right Hera is gripping the armrests fiercely, knuckles white, expression set.
"Easy for you to say Coruscant." says Hera not turning, keeping her face set ahead.
"Still your mind. There is no Chaos, there is Harmony." I intone.
That gets me a look.
"Why do you insist on that ancient, outdated catechism? Nobody uses that anymore." says Hera.
"i find it calms me, attunes me to the Force. Not every revelation need be new. What do you prefer?"
"I am the bearer of the light. I carry it beside me when I walk into dark places. I shall bring the light and banish the darkness. The light is life, it is hope, it is freedom." says Hera.
"Does that help?"
"No. I am afraid."
"Then try this. I must not fear. Fear is the Mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it is gone I will turn my inner eye to see it's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." I say.
Hera stares at me. "I don't recognise that."
"Try it. With me. I must not fear." I begin.
"I must not fear." begins Hera.
-----
Now we are ascending the steps to the Jedi Temple. An immense crowd is outside demonstrating. They have banners and megaphones but also giant holoprojectors listing their grievances.
"Test them all! Test them all! Test them all!" The demand washes across the crowd of beings from the announcers. Two million voices take up the chant.
"I am suspecting you Coruscant," says Hera as we weave our way through the massive throng.
"What makes you say that? I cannot be responsible for every event in the Galaxy." I say.
"Ordinarily, any other being on any other day I would think that. Now, I believe otherwise." says Hera.
So with the holos lighting the sky like fire above me I walk into the temple.
Yoda is, of course waiting for me.
"Master Dee-Jay. Your visits, portentous, as rare they are." he chides gently.
I bow.
"Master Yoda. Allow me to introduce my companions. This is Knight Captain Hera Koll of the Green Jedi. She has business with Master Windu. I am here to support her. This is Shayla from Naboo. She is a friend. Hera, Shayla, this is Grandmaster Yoda, he is counted as among the wisest in the Order." I say.
That earns me a number three glare. Mind probably being read.
"Friend is it?" says Yoda with a chuckle. "Pray such a friend have I do not, for perish, I would."
Shayla looks puzzled. Always with the slightly befuddled monk routine.
"Thank you. I think." says Shayla.
"Master Yoda, we have heard of your wisdom on Corellia." says Hera bowing.
"So you should. Now come, come. Grumpy he shall become Master Windu if wait too long he must. Know that I think you do though." says Yoda and then begins waddling down the hall.
I and Shayla follow. Hera however has not. I look behind.
"I, can't." she pleads.
"You have come all the way here. Just a few more steps." I say.
"No. This was a mistake." says Hera.
I walk back to her. I hold out my hand.
"I said I will support you. Take my hand. Remember. I must not fear."
"Listen to Dee-Jay, yes. Litany Against Fear. Recite and find strength you shall." says Yoda turning round.
With that sort of endorsement Hera takes my hand and we follow Yoda. All the while my mind is racing. How the hell do you know that Yoda?
Yoda turns his head at that moment to grin and wink at me. Damn. When all this is over you and I are going to talk.
-----
"No."
I stand in the circular council chamber facing Mace Windu. Head of the Jedi Order. Master swordsman and paramount wielder of the Force. Also my boss. He has just refused my petition. There are other masters present but it's not like I can recall their names apart from Yoda. Let's stick with Conehead, Twi'lek, wobbly head guy and orange face mask. Hey I remember, that's Plo-Koon. Totally not a casual. They're all sitting down and apart from Yoda, are staring intently at me.
"I insist." I say.
"Did you not hear me Master Dee-Jay? But please, sit. There is much to discuss and you are related. I would appreciate your input." says Mace.
"I heard you Master Windu. Still, I insist. It is the Will of the Force." I say.
There is some murmuring from the assembly of the most bodacious badasses in the Republic. Well there is sniggering from Yoda. Come on! You are not helping.
"Very presumptuous." says Conehead.
"It is presumption to follow the Force? To do as it suggests? Go where it guides? I thought we were servants of the Force." I say. This would be easier if the little green goblin would stop.
"Are you saying that we do not." says Mace, leaning forward,
"No. Merely that the conflict within you has blinded you temporarily." I say.
Mace stands up, he walks over to me.
"There is no conflict." he says.
"In which case there should be no problem. See her." I say.
"No."
"It seems we are at an impasse, Master Windu."
"It seems so."
"Since we cannot resolve this by words, we should let the Force decide."
"And how do you propose we do that?"
"I believe our skill with a lightsabre will suffice."
"A duel? I accept."
"Very well. In an hour? In the ring?"
"In an hour. In the ring."
We step apart and I bow.
"Thank you for your wisdom masters." I say before departing.
-----
Outside Hera stands up from where she has been waiting.
"Will they see me now?" she asks.
"Patience. There is one small formality to be dealt with beforehand. I must defeat Master Windu in a duel." I say calmly, as if this is something I do every week.
"Oh Coruscant, I used to merely think you mad. Congratulations, you have banished all doubt of that." says Hera.
"Thank you Hera. To have such clarity is a gift. This journey has been worth it." I say and walk over to a flunky "Excuse me, can you direct me to the fighting ring." I say to them.
The flunky looks a little surprised but bows "Of course, this way master."
I follow my new guide.
-----
"A duel?" says Cin Drallig. I am at a fighting ring in the training grounds. It is a large space, open to the air and is filled with beings performing practice moves, sparring, observing or meditating. The clash of blades intersperse everything and yet, there is a sense of tranquillity, of purpose. Drallig has heard of what is coming and interested, come over.
Some names I can remember. Especially when they come attached to cool titles like Battlemaster.
"Yes. A little unorthodox, but if left unattended too long my padawan might, I don't know, build a planetary siege engine or something. I am on a timer." I say.
"Master Windu is an unparalleled master of the blade. You, I cannot quite recall your fighting style." says Master Drallig, a little worried. It's his job to know where everyone in the order is at when it comes to fighting techniques.
"I intend to use Rule Three." I say.
"Soresu? Against Master Windu?" says Drallig.
"No, Rule Three." I say.
"I am not sure what you are saying." says Drallig.
Join the club Battlemaster. Join the club.
-----
It has been half an hour since my challenge and I sit in the shade of a tree. There are a few more bods now. The Jedi may be stoic space knights but they have a rumour mill like any other organisation. Maverick Master challenges the Head of the Order. Definitely worth a look. People come over, stare for a while, check out Shayla and then depart. I give her an encouraging smile since I can feel her nervousness.
"Nice day." I say conversationally to the latest group.
"How can you be so calm?" asks Hera pacing.
"Because it is in the hands of the Force." I say.
Before Hera can reply a young Jedi runs up. "Master Dee-Jay?"
"Yes. How can I help you?" I say.
The Jedi bows. "Master Windu says there will be additional conditions. First. When, that is, if you lose you will submit yourself for discipline. Second. When you lose you will also cease any relations with either companion. Third. The blades will be live. Do you accept?"
"No! He cannot do this! He cannot, can he?" says Shayla looking between the newcomer and myself.
"He can. He's in charge." I say.
"Hera please. You cannot let him go through with this." pleads Shayla.
"I agree. Corruscant, give it up. He can have his pride. I will be, fine." says Hera. Liar.
"No." I say. I then look at the messenger. "I, I accept. I agree to Master Windu's additional terms."
An hubbub begins to build. After all the crowd are all telepathic and extra sensory to one degree or another. Live blades? The information spreads like wildfire at the speed of thought.
Shayla kneels beside me. "What are you doing? Why are you doing this?"
I look into her eyes. "It is what must be done. Be at peace, Do not worry. Soon it will be done." I say.
"He's going to destroy you! Then I'll never see you again. I don't know what I will do then." Shayla says.
I raise a hand to stop a tear from her face.
"You will accept what happens as being the Will of the Force. A judgement endorsed by the Universe itself. You will move on and live. If I lose. If I win however, how about dinner at a restaurant I saw as we were coming in. You'll have to pay, because I don't actually have any money myself. Did I mention I'm a pauper?" I say.
"You're going to win." Shayla breathes, only half believing.
"I will not promise that. I have accepted that I will lose. I do not fear that outcome. That was the purpose of these terms. To create fear. As a Jedi I am sworn to fight such. Shayla, I want you to accept the possibility that I succeed."
Shayla nods. "I will believe you." she says and hugs me.
"You have a plan? Some sort of trick Coruscant?" says Hera.
"No. No plans. No tricks. Just faith." I say.
Which is a bit rich coming from an agnostic, but hey, why start small?
-----
Now it is time. I kneel near the centre Mace is standing a few metres away.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.
There is a large crowd. A lot of commentary. Everyone wants a look. Cin Drallig inspects our weapons before handing them back. Mace holds his in his hands. I place mine at my belt.
"Do you understand the terms?" asks Drallig.
We both nod.
"Do either of you wish to yield?"
"No." says Mace.
I shake my head.
"Master Windu are you ready." says Drallig.
"I am." says Mace.
"Master Dee-Jay, are you ready." says Drallig
"I am." I say.
Drallig leans over.
"Aren't you going to stand up then?" he says.
"In time. I am ready." I say.
Drallig leaves the circle.
"You may ignite your weapons." Drallig says at the edge.
There is a flash and a 'foom' noise as Mace activates his lightsabre and adopts a high guard position, blade ready to block or strike as required. Mine remains at my belt.
"Master Dee-Jay. Your weapon?" asks Drallig, uncertain.
"I am ready." I say.
There is a pause. Silence. Drallig no doubt is wrestling with his conscience. If he tells us to begin he is sentencing me to death.
"There is no death, there is the Force." I say.
With that I signal my commitment. Drallig gulps.
"Begin."