17 - Not even New Year's

Know your opponent.

Mace Windu is one of the best fighters in the Jedi Order. He is strong in the Force and his attunement to it makes him as close to invincible as you can get. He has some weird Force talent, ability thingy that I can't put my finger on just now but it involves seeing the perfect moment or place to strike. I am uncomfortably aware that right now that is a point three centimetres beneath my chin. He is the leader of the Jedi Order, of immense moral and unimpeachable character.

He is also proud.

Know thyself.

I am a middle aged fan from the twenty first century. While the looming danger of a surprise visit from the Legion of Sithfriends has spurred me into a serious exercise routine for only the second time in my life I am woefully behind almost everyone else who have been at this their entire lives. I was the despair of every hobbyist who placed a blade in my hands, be it steel, rattan or foam. Again, I have been catching up, but four years is a far cry from four decades. I have the Force and right now it wants me here like this. I cannot win. It is impossible.

I am at peace.

Since my vision is not careening wildly as my severed head bounces about, I surmise that I am still alive. I look up at my opponent. Mace is still at guard. Any move I make he can not only effortlessly block and counter strike, but he will see it coming. He will know when I make my move before I do. So, it comes to this, seek the perfect moment and act. Or not, as the case may be.

Your move, Mace Windu.

"Get up." says Mace.

"No." I say.

"You said this would be resolved by our skill with a lightsabre."

"It is. I am demonstrating mine. Demonstrate yours Master Windu. Strike."

"You cannot be serious!"

"Deadly serious. Strike."

"No. How can you be so calm!"

"I am at peace. I sense that you are not. Strike and remove the source of conflict. Or."

"Or what?"

"Speak to Hera. She's right over there. If that is too much to bear, then strike."

I close my eyes. I wait. Right here. Right now. What do I believe?

I believe that Mace is a good man. He would not be the head of the Order otherwise.

There is an uncomfortably long pause. Then a hiss as a lightsabre is switched off. I hear footsteps move away from me. Then a voice.

"It seems I must speak with you Knight Captain." says Mace.

"Of course Master Windu." says Hera.

A few more footsteps.

"Master Windu has ceded the ring. Master Dee-Jay is the victor." says Drallig.

I open my eyes, stand up and bow towards my opponent. Then pandemonium breaks out as everyone, speaks, shouts, cheers or undergoes a personal WTF moment. One cry in particular. I spin and catch Shayla as she runs into me.

"You're alive. You're alive. You're alive." she exclaims, punctuating the statements with kisses. She pauses and looks at me eyes flashing. "Never, ever do anything like that again. Promise."

"I will never, ever do anything like that ever again." I say truthfully, from a certain point of view.

After all. To face down the Sith will require audacity of an entire different order of magnitude.

As I walk away Cin Drallig approaches me.

"Excuse me, I must know. What is rule three?"

"Be afraid when you are in possession of a deadly weapon and face an unarmed man in a pose of submission." I say

Drallig frowns.

"Who said that?" he says

"Master Pratchett. A knight of unparalleled skill." I say.

"I do not believe I have heard of them. Were they a Jedi?" says Drallig.

"No, but none the less wiser for that. Excuse me, I have a friend to support." I excuse myself and walk to where Hera and Mace are. Lots of meeting, very little talking. Time to channel another master.

"Master Windu. Knight Captain Koll. Time for that meeting." I say and then turn to Shayla. "Meet you at the restaurant."

Shayla just stares "But we haven't decided on which one yet."

I smile. "Then pick one. I will find you. Always."

There is a small beat and then she smiles before leaving. I watch her go and then turn back to Hera and Mace.

"This way please." I say with a smile and begin walking.

-----

"I do not like this." says Mace quietly behind me as I lead them through the halls of the Temple. "He is planning something."

"Of course Coruscant is planning something. I have learned the signs." says Hera.

"Care to share what those signs are?" asks Mace.

"For a start, he is awake." says Hera.

"Do you trust him?" asks Mace.

"No. Don't be absurd. Are you not curious though?" says Hera.

"I don't know why I am doing this." says Mace.

Eventually we reach a small foyer in the dormitories.

"Excuse me. Just wait here a moment." I say.

Quickly, because Mace looks ready to bolt at any moment I find a room, check it is unoccupied and rearrange the furniture a bit. I then walk back.

"This way." I say with a gesture and walk to the room. I take the only available chair and wave towards the bed. "Please, sit down."

Both look at me, the bed, each other and then at me again.

"Coruscant. This is underhanded, even for you." says Hera.

"No, I refuse to take part any more." says Mace, glaring.

I stare back.

"Shall we do this again? Sit. Down." I say.

With one last look at one another they sit on the bed. I fold my hands together and wait for them to make themselves comfortable. Given the way they keep shifting about, this could take some time. I wait patiently. Eventually they subside.

"Now. Who wants to resume?" I say brightly.

Silence. Patience.

"Every damn day. Every single damn day!" roars Mace. He stands up. "Is that what you want to hear!" he screams, looming over me.

"Not I. You need to tell her." I say pointing.

Mace turns round and sits down again. "I am sorry. I have regretted that decision every day since."

"So have I. I regret ever agreeing to remain apart." says Hera.

"I was a fool." they both say together.

They stare at each other for a long time. Well, seconds really. Maybe a Microsoft minute.

"What do we do now? We cannot go back and the Code." Mace begins, then pauses.

"The Code? The Code? Always, it is your precious Code." says Hera.

"The Code is good. It is wise." I say.

"What!" say the two of them turning to me.

"The Code is good. It has helped maintain Peace and Justice for thousands of years. I'll admit it's moved about. Changed, been altered and revised, but it is good." I say.

"You, you approve of the code? With that woman practically hanging off you." says Mace.

"Shayla? Yes. I am currently determining whether there is an attachment and then, well, I shall see. It remains that the Code is good. Now, I think sweeping changes right now or the Head of our Order as opposed to some no-name Master stirring things up would be a recipe for revolution. So, a proposal. I feel it is a good time for reconciliation between the Coruscanti and Corellian Orders. What is needed is a liason, someone who can often and freely negotiate with our Order at the highest level. If agreed to I foresee much negotiation to forge a strong bond of unity that is needed for the coming times." I say.

"Do you know of anyone willing to do that?" asks Mace, leaning towards Hera.

"I think I do." says Hera, leaning in.

"Well. Such negotiations are not my speciality. Above my non-existent pay grade. I shall leave it in expert hands." I say as I rise. I give a quick bow and leave. I quickly make for the exit. On the way I am intercepted by Yoda.

"Master Dee-Jay." he calls out.

I stop. "Yes Master Yoda?"

"Matters, how stand they now?" he asks.

"Improving by the minute, I imagine." I say.

Yoda chuckles, "Yes, yes. See that I do. Must ask however, Betan Therapy, necessary it was?"

Now I know you're trolling me.

"It seemed appropriate Master. Is there anything else?"

"No, run now, quickly you must." says Yoda.

I bow and take off at a run heeding Yoda. After all, one should not keep a woman waiting.

-----

I look at the utensils as they are laid before me by the waiter and then at my smiling companion. Spoinks, really?

"I had to see for myself." Shayla confesses.

"My student is in so much trouble." I say as I pick up the troublesome utensil.

Shayla shifts round so she is beside me, "Would you like some help?"

I look at what she is wearing. The dress Is golden in colour and sparkling, the effect generated by tiny lights built into the fabric itself.

"What happens if any of the sauce lands on you? Will your dress short out?" I ask.

"Then you will have to be careful." Shayla says.

"Okay. Understood. No Pressure." I say.

"None at all."

Later, having escorted Shayla back to where she has booked a room we share a kiss. My mind attempts to maintain some sense of coherency as she wraps herself around me.

"Come inside. Stay with me tonight." she breathes.

What a great idea. Except. Fighting every instinct I disentangle ourselves.

"No. I am sorry. Not tonight." I say.

"I am returning to Naboo in the morning. You are going back to Corellia. I won't see you for almost a year. And I want to make sure you won't even think of looking at another in that time." she says.

"You are very safe of that. Before you ask, the real enemy is here, close. I will not give them any extra reason to target you." I say.

"So I have to wait? I don't like this." says Shayla, scowling.

"Patience love. For just a little while longer." I say. Did I just say that? Guess I did.

Shayla's eyes widen. No backing out now.

"I will hold you to that promise, Till we meet again." she says, opens the door and walks inside. The door closes.

As I walk back to the Temple I wonder. Am I being over cautious? Is this a sudden onset of nerves brought on by an inadvertent realisation? Can the Man from Naboo really pick up that sort of thing over what must be a lot of background noise? Hasn't he already got me under surveillance? No. There are two states. Very cautious and dead. Trust those instincts, well the Force powered ones. The ones reacting to Shayla's personal brand of chemical invitation can damn well wait. As I reach an open space I look across to the Senate building, framed by the lights of the Greatest City. I could just, no. Remember the plan.

I continue on my way back to the Temple.

-----

The next morning I awake, choose a water shower, get dressed and make my way to the refectory. I get more than the usual glances, but still. Stoic space knight HQ. Before enlightenment, chop wood, pour water. After enlightenment, chop wood, pour water. Same here. I survived a live weapons duel with a master swordsman, but today? There's cosmic wisdom and harmony to be seen to. Life goes on. The Jedi protect. And if I fail then every single one of you dies. That Mon Cal there? Dead. That Ithorian munching on something a lot like a celery stalk? Dead. Those kids shoving each other and laughing? All dead. Slain by my apprentice or the Emperor's new goons. I am having breakfast with people I know will all be dead in ten years.

"So sure you are Master Dee-Jay" says Yoda.

God damn stealth master goblin.

"Every single one. You know that." I say.

"If destiny it is, struggle you should not, Accept it you should." says Yoda.

A normal person would of just said 'why bother', no we got to get all mystic.

"The Jedi protect." I say.

Yoda's eyes widen. He stares at me, as if he is looking deep within my soul. Which he probably is.

"Oh. A Jedi are you?" he asks

"Yes."

"Show me."