29 - When I said I come from a big family...
"You and your apprentice will be assigned to assist and advise Admiral Tarkin. A high priority is the location of either Sith Lord. Should you do so, you are to contact us and we will deal with them together. Am I understood?" orders Mace.
"Yes Master Windu." we both say.
"Furthermore you will not pursue any of these relationships both of you were developing in what was formerly the Outer Rim Squadron. You will conduct yourselves as exemplary members of the Jedi Order at all times."
Anakin besides me stiffens.
"Yes Master Windu."
"For how long?" I say.
"Until you cease these dangerous feelings you have for each other."
"I see. Until the stars grow cold then. I wish to negotiate a shorter term than until the heat death of the universe itself." I say.
Mace rubs his forehead.
"Why should I do that? You're here specifically because Skywalker otherwise developed an unhealthy relationship and caused the downfall of the Republic."
"Key word being unhealthy. I feel that with everything in the open," I begin
"In the open! Let me make this clear Dee-Jay. You will not openly flaunt yourself with that woman!" Mace is shouting at the end.
"Shayla, it's her name. Please use it." I say.
Mace is standing now right in front of me.
"Very well. You will not indulge your relationship with Shayla." he growls.
"Until?" I ask.
"Until I say so. Please, I am trying to be reasonable."
"As am I. Note that I am not defying you. Now is not the time for that. I also recognise that I need more time for reflection and I don't do that round Shayla. I need a time period. Anything indefinite would be cruel. How about six months?"
"Six months?"
"Yes, then we examine and re-negotiate. With Shayla present next time."
"One year." says Mace.
"Very well. One year. Assuming no drastic changes." I say.
"What do you mean by drastic." asks Mace.
"Oh, I am sure we will know when it happens. Thank you Master Windu for being so understanding." I say.
We bow and then leave. As we do so I hear,
"Never should have let Yoda retire, swear he saw all this." muttered by Mace.
Then again, I could have been mistaken.
-----
A few days later we are aboard the Liberator. The ship is a hive of activity as Amidala transfers her flag to the Repulse, an old Republic Dreadnought above Fenargh. I find Shayla in her office.
"What do you mean Kolto Tanks? When does that ship date from? Never mind. I will see the appalling state in all it's glory later today. Goodbye." she then looks up at me and smiles. "You have returned! You can help me get acquainted with the new ship. Of course, when I say new, I mean hauled out of a museum. Sorry. How are you?"
"All the better for seeing you. Yourself?"
"Stressed love. Being in the Fleet is great, but it's mostly organising everyone to face in the same direction. Which is exhausting. I could use a few clones of myself and still be overworked. That reminds me, you are a father. We are both parents."
Remain calm. Remember to breathe. You're a stoic space knight. Who has broken most of the rules regarding relationships, including apparently, this one. I take a breath.
"You're pregnant? That's wonderful," I begin, pausing when I see Shayla's expression.
"No love. Not quite. Not that we should ignore that either, but, it's complicated. You know all those clones we rescued? You may want to sit down."
I find a chair and sit down.
"Okay, I'm seated. What happened?" I ask.
Shayla looks down at me, grimaces and then begins.
"I am not sure how it started. There were some difficulties with getting the clones declared citizens. Then several of the rescued clones decided to declare me as their next of kin on the citizenship form. Mostly because my name is at the top of their medical reports after we saw to extracting those hideous chips. This lead to a row with Immigration. Then many of them requested their applications back and amended them likewise. A delegation then came to me to formally request my help in the matter. So, after consulting with Legal we came up with a solution, eventually. Things were helped along when Amidala pointed out that you are my common law husband and, since you were otherwise unavailable I got to adopt them on our behalf. As my children, they are all legally and neatly Naboo citizens. We had a ceremony and everything. It was very moving. Well, except for Amidala's constant giggling. It is amusing, but not that hilarious. Are you okay, love?"
I am now focusing on breathing. Calm. Everything is normal. For given values of normal. Okay, brain connects to mouth and we say something sane. Somehow.
"So, how many instant teenagers do we have Princess?" I manage.
Shayla walks over, picks up a pad and checks it. Normally people don't do that to remember how big the family is.
"One hundred and eighty-eight thousand, seven hundred and forty two at last count. I hope you were set on a large family."
"It's a surprise. No doubt about that. Can we go back a bit though. Husband? Did I miss that?"
"Common law love. We have been in an exclusive relationship for over three standard years and listed as being at the same residence for the majority of that. I was surprised too, but I think I like it. There's no way the Jedi will let me officially marry you after all." she says with a smile.
"Yes, about that. This was supposed to be a short visit. I have to not pursue a relationship with you for a year still. Something about showing I am a good Jedi and all." I say.
"A year! I just got you back." protests Shayla.
"I did talk Windu down from forever. Also, you get to be present when they revise that in a year's time. Bring the kids."
Shayla's smile becomes distinctly predatory.
"Oh I will. I promise. Now this year? Can it start tomorrow?"
-----
Anakin is of course, grinning like an idiot as we walk to the courier.
"Do I offer congratulations or commiserations?" he smirks.
"Congratulations. You know, I'm looking forwards to seeing Windu in a year from now. It can be a take your children to work day." I grin.
"Wow. Um, don't you think we should inform him? That you now have a family that can invade small planets?"
"That would be 'developing and encouraging relationships'. Which we, are specifically forbidden to do."
"Of course, oh wise Jedi Master."
-----
I hold Abby firm against the virtual hurricane. Palps is getting stronger with these attempted summonings, but I am learning as well. Still, it is grueling for all that and a relief when the doorway closes as whatever bizarre Sith sorcery ends. We are both shaking and use the other for support.
"I hear you are a father now."
"In a sense, yes."
"Almost two hundred thousand. I thought your mate was a Twi'lek, not an Ascomayrin."
"They're adopted."
"I had two children, adopted too. None, of my own."
"I disagree. I believe you had a child."
"Really?"
"Look at yourself, oh Queen of the Stars. Is that not your child?"
Abby's form shifts as she moves to look at her starfield.
"They also call me Bringer of Chaos."
"I am told it was a difficult birth, yes."
"Every time I visit, am summoned, terrible things happen."
"We can change that. Do not fear. I have a plan."
-----
I slide down the scree slope, the last obstacle before a mad dash to the giant sphere that is a landed Trade Federation battleship. Behind me, Anakin and a dozen clones are following.
"I still say it is Tuangsday." shouts Anakin as we descend.
"Are you sure? Could of sworn it was a Primeday." I yell back.
We reach the bottom and scurry towards the grounded vessel become instant base. No one notices us. They really should but there is a big battle going on nearby and well, target fixation is a thing. The Force favouring fools and madmen also helps.
"Five day week, not seven." reminds Anakin as we reach the edge of the spheroid.
"Besides, you always miss a day or two when you see mom." says Athos as he reaches the door controls and pulls out the slicing kit.
"Yeah, you're right. Athos." I say.
The clone looks up at me. "Mate, I'm Porthos, tech specialist. Athos is on heavy weapons detail. Can't tell his own kids apart. You're a terrible parent. No wonder I ended up in the army." says actually Porthos. Nearby Athos gives me a wave.
"Anyways, Federation Battleship Core. We blow those up on Taungsdays." points out Anakin.
There is a series of beeps from the access point.
"Clear." says Porthos and the clones take cover as we prepare for entry.
"Okay, it's Taungsday." I concede.
The door opens and we step in, I hold up my hand as I spy the figure at the end of the hall. Tall, grey, bald, two red lightsabres and one hell of an attitude problem.
"Did you think you could just stroll in so easily?" hisses Ventress.
Anakin and I look at one another.
"Benduday." we agree in unison before advancing on the wannabe Sith maniac.
-----
I never really got into the Clone Wars in my old life, I was busy, it was on at the wrong times and some of those early episodes that I did catch were kind of derpy. So all I really knew about Ventress was 'psycho assassin chick who works for Dooku'. I have had a crash course in who she is since the fighting started. Dooku's go to hit man and spec ops commander. Massive chip on her shoulder. Really good with a lightsabre. However, she's not a true believer. Like it or hate it, knowing you are right is very important. Plasma psi blade. Funny how everyone focuses on the plasma part and ignores the psi bit. Ventress has the skill, the anger, the thirst for revenge but she doesn't believe. To her, the Dark Side is just another tool. All of this makes her merely bloody dangerous as opposed to 'unstoppable whirlwind of death' like her master.
I move to block one red blade with my own while deflecting the other with telekinesis. Meanwhile Anakin moves to threaten her right side and Ventress counters by striking at both of us alternatively blocking and striking with her weapons as needed. Soon, however we have her between us.
"Nice. Not bad. You are still fighting angry though." I say.
"Cease your taunting Jedi and just die already." yells Ventress as we resume.
The duel continues until a blue bolt narrowly misses Ventress, leaving a scorch mark on the wall.
"Venkman! What took you so long?" I say to the clone with the not exactly legal disruptor rifle.
"Just remembering you said you wanted her alive." says Venkman, sighting and preparing to fire.
Ventress leaps, impossibly high, lands on a ledge slashes open a grate and leaps inside.
"Never mind her, come on, we have a ship to blow up." I say and lead everyone on.
-----
Then it's running, shooting, yelling and more running as we fight our way through the ship.
"Are the droids not on our side this time?" says Athos as he and I take cover from the new B2's advancing upon us over the bodies of their fallen B1 brethren. Bolts explode all over the exposed front of the bulkhead we are behind.
"We're working on it! They've updated again." yells Anakin from the control centre.
"Can I stress the time sensitive nature of the operation!" calls Athos.
"No! You may not!" comes the reply.
"Anyone got a droid popper?" asks Stantz nearby.
A quick inventory indicates we're out.
I reach out with the Force. Droids are harder to sense, which explains why the Separatists still employ them against Jedi. Sure Anakin can see them clear as day, but he's busy right now. On the other hand I have had practice.
"Okay, on three." I advise and the clones get ready. I then wait, even droid weapons have a recharge cycle. In the brief lull I rise and raise my hands the B2's arms do likewise, several firing futilely into the ceiling and struggling to lower them to blast me.
"Three!" I shout. The clones break cover and open fire. Soon the corridor is full of shattered droids.
"Got it!" comes the cry from the control room. Moments later Anakin and Porthos are with us.
"They're all yours." I say waving at the pieces of scrap.
"Oh, ha ha, Dee-Jay." says Anakin. He pauses for a moment as sounds of panic, confusion and fighting breaks out everywhere around us. "I didn't want these ones anyway. Come on!"
We follow Anakin towards the next objective.
-----
Charges set and everything ready, we fight our way to a hanger through droids shooting each other, panicking Neimoidians, smoke and fire. I lift Spengler onto the transport Anakin has selected and try to make him comfortable. I reach out with the Force to soothe the burns and mend some of the damage. You can heal without accessing the Dark Side but it's more accelerated healing. Not so quick or easy, but less seductive too. I do not like using it. At all. Especially on the kids.
"Don't bother with that. I never, liked that leg anyway." says Spengler through the pain.
"You're going to be fine." I say as the transport boosts and begins climbing for orbit. Below us there is a series of explosions as the Ship Core is torn apart.
"You may be a great Jedi, but you're a lousy liar. Us kids have spotted the signs." says Spengler as I inject him with another sedative dose.
"Oh yes?" I say.
"Yeah, your lips, they, move." says Spengler as he falls under.
-----
Anakin manages to convince the Avenger who we are so that we can land. Reports filter through that Separatist resistance is collapsing without their command centre. Another day, another planet liberated. As we walk towards the briefing room two clones fall in behind me.
"Don't mind us. Just making sure you don't sneak off afterwards." says one.
"Thank you." I say.
"Don't mention it." one of them replies.
"Who are you two again?" I ask. They really do all look alike after all.
"He's Spock, I'm Leonard." says Leonard.
"Really? Where's James?" I inquire.
The two look at each other.
"On a date, there's this midshipman in engineering." explains Spock.
Seriously? Sometimes I wonder about this universe. We continue to the briefing.
-----
Admiral Amidala makes a show of looking over the notes.
"Thank you. A job well done, again. Dismissed." she says and stands. We take that as our cue to rise, salute and leave. "General Skywalker, please remain as there is future strategy and planning to discuss. Anakin pauses and turns round as the rest of us exit. They manage to restrain themselves until we're outside.
As I am escorted to dinner I consider one of those tiny details that was probably unimportant for an experimental film in the seventies. Namely, that Wilhuff Tarkin, orders Vader around and blows up planets Tarkin, that Tarkin is an incurable romantic. Maybe it's the arranged marriage, maybe it's all that opera or it could be that he's a human being too. So, as it often happens, when the Third Outer Rim Fleet needs to coordinate with the Fifth he makes sure we get sent along as organic support. It helps that he is good at his job. Most times we are packed into a courier with a bunch of grinning bods we do end up being needed. Other times, circumstances contrive to keep us from getting bored. One of us is Anakin, never a dull moment Skywalker after all.
"Good evening. A Jedi. What a coincidence. All the seats appear taken, except this one." says Shayla indicating the seat besides her as I enter. Of course it is. There's an identical face at every other place in the mess.
"Why thank you, Physician Commander is it?" I say as I sit down.
"Yes, indeed. So, a Jedi. How exotic. Tell me all about that. Oh, but first, could you introduce me to these fine men?" says Shayla waving at the clones at the table with us.
Nine identical faces look at me smiling. Nine? At once? Oh well.
"Mercury, Venus, Mars, Terra, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto." I say naming the kids.
What am I going to do if she breaks out a platoon or Force help me, a company at once? States of the Union? My Periodic Table of Elements? Also, they are all mine. I will have to think of something.
"Pleased to meet you all. Now Master Jedi, tell us about your day."