30 - Rest and mostly relaxation
There are many reasons to dislike him. This is Tarkin, for crying out loud. Even ignoring the entire planet explodey thing, which I have to remind myself regularly that he hasn't done yet, there are still plenty of things to take issue with. He's pompous, aristocratic and makes your regular conservative look like the Red Menace. He thinks Palpatine was 'on the right track' what with his consolidation of powers and all. He's into human supremacy not so many steps removed from those delightful nutters in the Imperium of Man. He's a technocratic, authoritarian arse who probably sneers in his sleep.
We get along quite well for all that.
Like everyone else in this crazy Galaxy there is a man behind the actor. He's charming, cultured and intelligent. His dedication and care for those under his command is legend. He makes it his business to know something about everyone and can recall it instantly. When I asked him how he does that, suspecting some device or implant at work he merely looked at me and said 'Practice Dee-Jay' in that supercilious, why can't everyone do this voice of his. He is what Cornwall had a character describe as a 'killing officer'. He is honest and principled. Betraying a trust simply does not occur to him.
Our current subject being a case in point. Anakin, our Hero with no Brain is still being bloody indecisive over which woman he should commit to.
"Marry Admiral Amidala, take Sergeant Hama as your Acknowledged Mistress and the Jedi Amelia as your Known Lover." explains Tarkin as if the solution should be obvious.
He may possess unshakeable morals. They're just not the morals of an early Twenty First Century ex-pat, or a Tatooine slave. I glance towards Anakin who seems to having trouble with his dinner.
"I think Anakin was looking for a simpler solution, one where he does not have to so rigidly categorise his affections." I say.
"That is the simple solution. Or do you have one of your irregular and egalitarian suggestions?" says Tarkin.
Oh, go on. Say dangerous and subversive. I promise not to catch fire.
"As his elders we can provide advice and guidance. It remains that the solution will be up to Anakin, Padme, Grete and Amelia." I say.
"Yeah, I can't just sort them like that." protests Anakin.
"Respectfully, I disagree. They are already sorted. By birth, by profession, by class and by rank. This is just another orderly distinction to remove all that bothersome chaos from one's affairs." says Tarkin.
"I can't go introducing Grete as my Acknowledged Mistress! As for Amelia? Known Lover? She'll eviscerate me! With her lightsabre." says Anakin.
"Grete has a lightsabre too." I point out helpfully.
"Not helping!" replies Anakin.
"These are honoured and respectable titles. Why would anyone take offense at them? Is it the order perhaps? Marry Jedi Amelia." suggests Tarkin.
"No!"
"No? Was I mistaken when I met her? You seemed quite affectionate towards one another." says Tarkin.
"I am! I love her. It's just, I love Padme and Grete as well." says Anakin.
"I believe Anakin feels that loving more than one person is a major betrayal of trust." I say.
"Oh. I understand. Pardon me General Skywalker. I will not trouble you on what is clearly a matter of honour." apologises Tarkin.
With that, the conversation turns to less personally charged topics. Later, after the others have left, Tarkin finally asks the question which I know has been nagging him.
"Why does Sergeant Hama have a lightsabre?"
"Battle trophy. While my view was obscured I am reasonably sure the majority of blasts that took down the Adept were from her weapon. Quite appropriate I felt. After all the morale is to the physical." I explain.
"Yes. I see."
-----
Not every day is joyous. This is a war after all. People die. Our children die. I kneel before the fresh graves on Ryloth. Fully half of them are our kids. I know they're fully mature. I know they volunteered. No one forced them or compelled them to fight in the Republic's wars. I know that they feel fighting freely is a form of protest and a matter of honour. They are also ten standard years old. Child soldiers. Our children.
Shayla and I hold each other for support and comfort. We know they are dying almost continuously in a war far more bloody than Palpatine's manufactured conflict ever was. It's a constant. Both of us need these moments to grieve. Because no one else will.
After a while I sense them approach.
"Come on you two." I turn round. It's Clark. Behind him are the others.
I get up and turn for the transport.
"Too many. Far too many of you are dying."
Clark places a hand on my shoulder and looks at Shayla.
"For this world? To watch over it forever? My brothers died gladly. You freed us. We are returning the favour. Anyways, it is over and we found this pub. Come, celebrate being alive."
"Yeah. You can tell us how you met." adds Bruce.
Another pipes up.
"We want to try out those moves ourselves."
"Oliver!"
"Okay. First, I want you all to promise. No shaking hands with Sith Lords" I begin as they lead us away.
-----
I kneel and focus. It's a little hard tonight. Ryloth freed, in more ways than one. Everyone is letting their hair or tentacles, down tonight.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
"Why are you alone?"
I look up. Shayla is standing in front of me in a short red dress.
"I am a Jedi. A stoic guardian of peace and justice. I seem to be on the Planet of Hot Space Babes. Seclusion seemed advised."
She kneels in front of me. A tentacle wraps round my neck.
"Really. So we are unlikely to be interrupted then."
"No. No interruptions, barring a counter attack."
"Do you see that happening?"
"No. Not tonight."
Shayla pulls out a small remote and hands it to me.
"Can you switch me off?"
I do so and hand it back.
"Can you switch me off too?"
-----
"Master Dee-Jay!" comes the piercing voice.
I open my eyes. Sounds like that Orange Leader guy.
Shayla stirs as well.
"Are we under attack? Tell the Seperatists to come back after lunchtime." she says and turns over.
"Master Dee-Jay!"
Since he is not going away I get up and open the door.
"Are we under attack?"
"No, it's, something else." they say.
Pause. Concentrate. Stop using the Force almost immediately. Way too much information.
"Does this involve many of the locals being enthusiastic in expressing their thanks?" I say as I close the door behind me.
"Yes. We did not exchange one boot for another."
"If I catch anyone sleeping with their boots on there will be trouble." I growl.
"I feel you are not taking this seriously." says Orange name will come to me in a minute.
"Okay. I'll take this seriously. What is the problem? Liberated planet, off duty troopers, grateful population. I would be concerned if everyone was just politely chatting and sipping tea." I say.
"The problem? They're clones, Who." begins Orange but stops when I hold up a hand.
"That's what's wrong?" I interrupt and lean back inside "Princess, there's someone here complaining about your kids."
"My kids? I'll have you know they are our children. Oh, hello Cham. How can I help?" says Shayla brightly as the door opens.
I leave as the conversation heads downhill and becomes positively subterranean, I am a space monk. Knowing that sort of language would flip me to the Dark Side 'like that'. Outraged parents? Yeah, I have one of those.
-----
"Master Dee-Jay!" comes the interruption as Anakin and I are jogging through the halls of the Brilliant. I see it's Losk the new Jedi Knight attached to the Third Fleet.. Fairly chill guy once you get over the whole two metre tall purple Mantis thing. We stop running.
"Losk. How may I help you?"
Losk twitches, but I think that's just something it does.
"I have heard some disturbing rumours that you have sired thousands of children." it states.
Not millions? Reasonably sure we were that high last time I looked.
"Thousands? That's simply not possible. Humans are strictly K selected." I try by way of explanation.
"What?" says Losk.
"K selection. Means my species only has a few offspring per individual." I elaborate.
"I think you mean L selection." says Anakin
"L? Not K?"
"No. Trust me. I did well in Bio."
"Okay. Thanks Anakin. Yes L selected. Definitely. Only a few children at any rate. Ten is considered a huge family." I say as a platoon of clones jogs past.
"I thought so too. Still, it paid to be sure. Of course, complete nonsense. One wonders how these rumours start." it says.
"There are many tales about us. Not all based in fact." as a squad of kids marches the other way. "While you're here, what is your opinion on Vessage's 'Of One Mind?' I find some of his predictions quite interesting."
"Yes, an interesting thought exercise indeed. I think the Galaxy will remain populated by singular beings for some time."
"But fascinating nonetheless. Care to run with us as we speak?"
-----
"And these are the new combat speeders. Dual light cannon. Layferra thruster rated at 350, although with the TSR it's best to stay below 270." says Grete showing off the latest toy in our growing arsenal.
Well, the latest toy guaranteed to captivate my apprentice's attention.
"Layferra? Can I have a look. Hey! This looks like one of mine." exclaims Anakin.
Sure. What a coincidence. Not. I drown out the bonding and gushing over tech specifications. It's a pleasant day and since the Seps cant seem to find their mechanical arses to organise a counter offensive it looks to remain that way. I try to consider the big picture. On pad, it still does not look good. The Separatists took a lot of territory with their initial offensive but they're losing momentum and are hampered by their Sith overlords conflicting goals and ideologies. Another reason Sheev was probably so keen on Anakin. He's good at this military organisation. That's why he's General Skywalker and I'm basically a civilian advisor. Which Dooku and Palps really fall down at. They can get a populace worked up, pointed in the right direction and then, well, they flail about. They should be focused on either conquering the Republic, seizing sites of Force power or wiping out the Jedi. Not all three at once. Certainly not by only pretending to the first in the guise of 'defending ourselves from Republic aggression' and actually attempting the others on the sly. They need an Anakin to keep their goals in line.
I am distracted from Galactic strategy by the sound of a speeder zooming off. Of course that's when he's not distracted by a combination of fast things and pretty marines. I sigh, stand up and walk over to the big pile of kids arguing over an ovoid.
"Optimus, Megatron! Suit up. We're following Anakin. Discretely, until he and Hama stumble over whatever nefarious Sep plot they find brewing out there."
It takes a few minutes before the kids and elements of the 27th are loaded up, I climb aboard.
"Autobots. Roll out!" I say.
Racetrack looks at me, sighs and then gets the armoured floater moving. Just another weird dad reference.
"Dad? Is this wise? We stumble over them and it's nothing well, that could put Hama off her game." calls out a clone.
"Yeah. She's best sister in law." says another.
I turn round.
"Right, we've talked about this. We, are neutral. Also, if you believe we're just going to surprise them in the act then I've got some nice real estate on Korriban for you all."
"Oh come on. He can't stumble onto something every time."
An hour later I am running through an network of corridors as we try to escape the complex before the overloaded generators tear the place apart. The two lovebirds just behind me. We leap from the entrance towards the cordon the kids have set up and then watch the big crater form as the area falls in on itself.
"Any chance, you two could just go to a restaurant, take in a holo or visit a nightclub like everyone else?" I say wearily.
"But da, Dee-Jay, this is so much more fun. Do you see A and A stomping earthquake machines, atmo converters or, what was this?" says Grete.
"Subduction generator, and yeah, that was fun." agrees Anakin.
"You better believe it." says Grete kissing him as the clones cheer.
Maybe 'neutral' is a big word.
-----
"Where, is my Padawan?" says Knight Elhana. Amelia's master now that she has been readmitted for training as a Jedi Knight. Finally.
We are on the night side of a gravitationally locked planet in a creepy deserted city and there is a huge glowing obelisk plainly visible. Where do you think they are?
"Your efforts will come to no avail Jedi. You have no idea what your dealing with." snarls one of the Adepts trussed up nearby.
"Sorry, was I speaking to you? Quiet in the cheap seats." I reply before addressing Elhana. "Anakin and Amelia are just tying up loose ends. Probably over there."
Definitely over there. They'll be carefully moving through some ancient temple, helping decipher demented writings and aiding each other to keep the darkness at bay. They'll confront some ancient Sith spirit or mystical whatsit, ignore it's blandishments, contain it and bring it back. There will be several tense moments but I have faith in the Dark Side busting team.
"How could you let them go off like that? Isn't it dangerous?"
"Only if you're dumb enough to use the Dark Side." I retort. One of the Adepts thinks of speaking up, sees me look down and thinks better of it.
Then there's some waiting while I try to remember anything about Amelia's new Master. It's a forlorn hope. After all I need que cards to remind me to not call Mundi 'Conehead' Some rando near-human Jedi? Hah. Still.
"Dee-Jay, perhaps you can clear something else for me. These rumours, about your Padawan." she begins.
"Yes, he's the Chosen One. Most powerful Jedi ever. That's why he is on obelisk duty while I guard the prisoners." there, mostly true.
"Not that, his relationship with my Padawan. Weren't they close when she was a Terraformer?" she asks after a while.
"Oh, that's just Padawans being Padawans. Who did you experiment with?" I ask casually. Nine years has given me some insight into all this hemi-demi-semi celibacy.
"None of your business!"
"Well, then their business is none of ours. They will grow, and move on." I say trying to supress the telepathic image just broadcast.
It's another hour before the Force power couple return with some large green glowing crystal thing telekinetically supported by them. I spend the time suppressing a smile. Kenobi, you dog. No wonder it took you till twenty five to get knighted.
"What's in the box kids?" I ask cheerfully.
Anakin and Amelia look at each other and smile.
"Nothing really, just a mad Dark ghost moaning about fate, destiny and power." says Amelia.
"Yeah, you hear one, you have heard them all." agrees Anakin.
'The Spirit of Daken Rhul. Quite the catch.' whispers Abby in appreciation. No surprise who's team the cosmic entity is on.
"Well, we came, we saw, we kicked it's ass! Let's go."