Chapter fourteen part two - "HOW COULD YOU!"

Chapter fourteen part two

"HOW COULD YOU!"

As the days went on, I continued to stumble down my downwards spiral and little did I know but SZ was becoming my anchor.

Things got so bad that I even started self-harming.

This started very minor at first and started with me just using my nails, however, this progressively got worse as the days went on.

I started using a pencil in my belly button and I didn't care how much it bled; I now started using jumpers to hide the blood.

Later on, I showed BB my self-harm and told her how much I was suffering; she convinced me to tell my parents.

I was scared to tell my mum but I did, she promised to dedicate a while every day to talk to me about it, sadly this never happened.

As days progressed, I got more and more down and depressed.

I tried to show my tutor teacher H my self-harm but she wasn't bothered by it.

"I think you should tell H about what's going on"

I hesitated. My anxiety was really high, I was worried about upsetting SZ and what H would think and react.

Later on, it came to the bit I was dreading the most, H didn't seem bothered about my self-harm so why would she be bothered about this.

In the end, H was so concerned that she grabbed me another day and got me together with SZ's tutor teacher and got me to tell her. They were concerned that he was using me and manipulating me, so they told me to stay away from him.

That was easier said than done.

Turns out that SZ wouldn't leave me alone, no matter where I went he followed. I tried moving to different tables but he kept following me.

So when they asked me how things were going, I told them.

I regret doing this massively and it pulled me further down.

This is because they then banned us from seeing each other.

SZ could no longer go to the cafe that I went to anymore.

This made me feel very guilty, so I told him and he was so angry!