monster

These monsters and shadows have always followed me wherever I go wherever I try to escape , In every corner and corner of my black life, I could see them they were so mad at me hiding their wrath and rage, They were looking for a shortcoming , a vulnerability to sneak in and enter me to take the control and have power over me , I watched it too , I was there , I was present When they were laughing ,When they were having fun when they were walking When they were looking at me, I am overwhelmed with its details.

As for the night, it was an integral part of me, It was my kingdom and my private nakedness, It was my motherland, where I could live freely, In my own way, Where the monster inside me cannot see the light, Amid the darkness, These people fear monsters, Did they never realize that these monsters are inside them? They do not realize the magnitude of the terrible suffering that they make others bear.

Yes

The monsters are real and there, Grandmother's stories were never legends, Rather, it was a reality lived within each of us, Do you ever think you are totally innocent? You are totally good? You are good and others are evil? Let me dear slap you in the truth, you are light and dark, you are good and bad and you have two opposite sides or more who really knows, you have a bright side and a dark side, first time I met you I thought you were a beast.

I thought that maybe you were the beast that was trying to take advantage of me; I thought that you were the monster hiding under my bed or hiding behind the door, waiting for me.

Waiting for me to close my eyes and start dreaming , start to walk in my imaginary world where I can be whoever I want where I can be whatever I want but for sure where I can hide from the real world .

Where you were waiting for me?

Or maybe I was that beast , that monster and I didn't know that yet , I belonged to them , I was created in the womb of suffering and that was my destiny but I didn't want that.

When I saw the beast's reflection inside me in that mirror, I wanted to stop everything, stop breathing, stop living, I was just disgusting and felt disgusted by my own self, imagine feeling disgusting? All this has become unthinkable, and this was my only reason for living now, I know nothing but it makes me stand up, if I leave it one day how could I explain? My life would become a real disaster just to carry the monsters that live with me, study with me and forced to fight for survival, but they know that I will not be able to hold on long.

This roof is the only one that keeps me here, prevents me from going to the other world. Unfortunately, it is more like a thin transparent thread almost cut off at any moment.