01

I'm thinking of ending things.

Once the thought arrives. It sticks, lingers, it dominates. 

There isn't much I can do about it, trust me. But it doesn't go away. 

It's there weather I like it or not. 

It's there when I eat, when I go to bed. It's there when I sleep, when I wake up. 

It's always there. Always. 

The idea is new, but it feels old at the same time. 

I've always wondered if it was there the whole time. That thought of just wanting to end things before it went too far. But it already went far anyways hasn't it?

I guess it's curiosity. 

Curious it's on knowing if things could have been different between him and I. You never really know what would have happened if you ended up staying again. 

But when you realize that things are just not going the way you hoped, you just kind of want to end things. Right? 

That's the way things go most of the time, if something doesn't work out you find a way to either fix the mistake you made, move on, or try again another day. 

"This isn't working out." He has suddenly spoke, looking at me. Having some sort of look in his eye that I couldn't explain. I was too lost in my thoughts that I thought I had heard him wrong. 

"I'm sorry- what's not working out?" I asked as I turned to look at him as we were sat in the car together that afternoon. 

"Us Clarissa.. we aren't working out. This has been going on far too long. I'm not ready for this.. commitment. I just keep hurting you and I don't want that anymore." 

Laurence had spoke suddenly, catching me off guard. Huh. 

He beat me to it. 

I didn't want to be the first to say it.. after all he was the one who ruined everything the first time. The trust. It was me.. just wanting to hold on a little longer. 

But then I wondered if I had something to do with this too. Did i do something to make him just want to cut everything off with me? For him to not love me anymore? 

I guess in a way, i was already hurt. 

"okay." I said, as I was unable to come up with a real response. 

And that's how it happened. 

The one year of being in a relationship that I thought would have been great.

"So UH, that happened, it's kinda why I need a new apartment. I'm sorry... What was the question?" Clarissa had said as she sat across two other people who was looking at her very confusedly. She had her leg crossed over the other, as she sat in a chair across from them. One was a male, and the other a female. Clarissa could have sworn it that they were together, but she couldn't be so sure. 

"Do you have any pets?" Rupert had asked staring at Clarrisa with disbelief. What was he going to be dealing with here?

The girl, smiled at Clarissa and placed a hand on Rupert's shoulder. "Can you give us a minute please?" 

Clarissa nodded and watched as the two got up off the chair and walked down the hall and into the bathroom. 

"Well, what do you think?" Emma had asked, after closing the bathroom door. She saw Ruperts reaction to the story that Clarissa had told them. It was so far off of the charts, and off of any of the questions that had been asked that day. 

"She completely went off the chart! yes, she works at a diner and everything like that. But she barely answered our questions like- do you have any pets? how are we supposed to know if she has any pets or not Emma!" He complained as he threw his hands up slightly. Sure, he found Clarissa interesting. But he'd just hope she is good with boundaries, personal space, and privacy. That was what was most important to him. 

"I think we're just gonna have to find out don't you think? Like, it's not bad. I kinda like her spunky personality. It might be good for the both of us, seeing as though I can barely handle your crabbiness all the time." Emma had said giving him a pointed look, watching the disbelief he had on his face disappear, as it suddenly turned into a disgusted look. 

"I am not crabby!" He protested, as he stared at Emma glaring at his sister instantly.

"Well good! Let's go tell her the good news then!" Emma said as she went to open the bathroom door, to only see Clarissa leaning against it, before she stumbled a little, seeing the door opening. 

"Oh uh- well.. for the record.. I don't have any pets?" She had said awkwardly, knowing well that she shouldn't have listened to their conversation.

Rupert and Emma stared at her with a surprised look written all over their faces. And at that moment, was when the two siblings knew that Clarissa would be a good addition to the apartment.