4 Years Ago, I Stopped Writing ...

Written on: August 2020

Revised on: May 2022, January 2024

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing, and my voice fell silent. 

Writing, once my voice, served as an outlet for unexpressed emotions,

A reflection of my goals and life's lessons, and

A space for deliberate and thoughtful conversations with myself.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing wasn't a matter of choice but a necessity.

A requirement to self-reflect and -reconcile with my former self;

Where purity turned to tarnish, uniqueness transformed into mundanity, and truth proved to be an imposter. 

 I paused because the person communicating with the world was no longer the same, lacking the same perspective and warmth.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing because of fear of my thoughts and the consequences of my words.

The once comforting act became anxiety-ridden. 

I questioned the validity of writing, feeling stuck between proficiency and inadequacy, and realizing that residing in the middle was insufficient. 

The original purpose of writing became obscured, and I forgot the joy of dwelling in the beauty of words, neglecting the opportunity for freedom and expression of the unspoken.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing because I lost the unique and creative individual I once was.

Nothing remained afloat.

I lost the person brimming with ideas and overwhelmed with feelings, burying those profound thoughts deep within.

The once first-person perspective transitioned into a third-person view and perceptions reflect as shallow as everyone.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing due to the overwhelming nature of life.

The sheer volume of cruelty made it easy to forget every detail.

The wounds were plentiful, demanding healing, and scars begged for mending.

There was an abundance to be written, yet I grappled with where to start and what to convey.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing in the throes of my lowest point.

The illusion of solace in solitary conversations prevailed, though bundled up within myself.

-

Four years ago, I stopped writing, and in earnest, I hope this piece marks the beginning;

A start of a new chapter.