All In... Troubles and All

"You don't have to apologise," Pearl told him, standing up. She stepped away from her chair, running a hand through her hair.

Jesse watched as she began pacing.

"I'll admit I was a little confused at first, when you arrived with him. I was shaken by how ready you were to take care of Pablo, though I know he's been calling you dad for a while now and the fact that you let me says a lot. It should have clicked. But I realise that if we're together, I'm going to be a part of his life too. While, I wasn't expecting it-"

"I realise you're not someone who dates for the fun of it," Jesse cut in, not loudly.

Pearl opened her mouth and shut it again. After a moment she said just as quietly, "No, I'm not."

"So, I'm not asking you if you want anything to do with Pablo. If you want there to be an 'us' still, Pablo is a non-negotiable."

"So I'm the expendable?" she asked without heat.

"No! Not like that," Jesse leaned forward, as if he was trying to stop himself from going to her side. "You know how I feel about you, but not being with you is less…" he searched for the right words. Trying again, he said, "Obviously, sending Pablo back to the orphanage isn't an option I want to entertain. I honestly believe it would affect me more adversely even though the thought of losing you makes me very unhappy."

Pearl nodded. She stopped pacing and settled against the railing a few yards away from Jesse. Half her face was shadowed as an effect of the sunlight shining towards them. Her hair cascaded down her back and over one shoulder.

Jesse thought she looked so beautiful in that moment, looking at him seriously. He spoke without taking his eyes off of her. "Are you okay with Pablo being a part of the package? Am I still what you want?"

She almost laughed. "It's too late for that question, Jess. You love that child! If I had told you not to go get him, you'd have broken up with me before going to do just that."

He didn't deny that. The truth was clear on his face, but he didn't look happy. Seeing this, Pearl nodded.

"What do you want, Jesse?"

Pause. "I want to take care of Pablo and be with you."

She smiled at that. "I can work with that."

"You can?" Now he stood up.

"Yes. The dynamic has changed but not so much that my feelings for you change."

"Good." Jesse kissed her forehead and drew her into his arms. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," she said, more than a little amused. "Get into that kitchen and start cooking for your little boy. They'll be home soon."

Before he complied, Jesse claimed Pearl's lips softly with his own. The sweet heat of the kiss almost escalated but he drew back, with a slight smile.

"You're amazing."

"So you tell me."

Jesse saw Pearl pull out her inhaler. All he could do was frown because Pablo was tugging on his trousers. Picking him up, Jesse listened to him sweetly ask for ice cream.

Jesse's smile faltered when he heard Pearl cough, but he said to Pablo, "We'll put some in the shopping cart, okay?"

Pablo nodded happily. "Thank you, Papa."

With a kiss on his hair, Jesse grabbed the nearest shopping cart and deposited his charge in the seat. Then he waited for Pearl to join them, putting an arm around her.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine," she replied, smiling weakly as she looked up at him.

"Alright."

By the end of the trip through the store, Jesse's palms were slightly sweaty and he was having a hard time keeping his worry for Pearl hidden from Pablo. He rushed through the parking lot, brought the car around to the door of the supermarket.

Pearl was smiling at Pablo but Jesse could see she was struggling with her breathing. He jumped out again to load groceries, mindful to keep apart the ones that were going home with him and Pablo. By the time he'd finished, Pearl had put Pablo in his car seat and was seated in front.

Jesse got into the car and while reaching for her hand, asked in a low voice, "Hospital or home?"

She looked a little surprised. "I just need to rest, Jess, take me home. Pablo and I can nap together."

He frowned but agreed.

The trip to Pearl's place was a little quiet. Pearl, Jesse noticed, turned off the air conditioning on her side of the car, so he turned it all off and let the windows down. Every now and then Pablo would point out something he saw but the adults didn't engage him much and he seemed just fine.

Jesse kept his eyes on the road and once they were in Pearl's driveway, he breathed a sigh of relief. The first thing he did was ask Pearl for her keys and take Pablo out of the back.

Carrying him inside, he set him down in the space between the living room and the kitchen. "Stay here, mijo, we're bringing groceries in from the car," Jesse said in Spanish.

"Otay," Pablo said.

That made Jesse smile despite his mild anxiety.

The next few minutes unfolded like a slow-motion picture.

Taking three bags at a time, Jesse unloaded the car. He insisted Pearl go inside and sit down or have a glass of water. Putting the last bag down, he heard Pablo start to cry. His chest seized and he rushed out of the kitchen to find his little boy.

"What happened, my boy?" Jesse asked urgently, reaching Pablo who was sitting on the floor rubbing his head, a finger in his mouth, tears cascading down his cherubic face.

Pablo blubbered a story about falling and smacking his head against the door to the patio.

As Jesse was picking him up to comfort him, Pearl appeared. She'd changed into loose fitting clothing, but her face looked drawn and tired.

"What happened?" she asked, barely audible.

Pablo's cries were subsiding, and Jesse knew he'd be asleep in a few minutes.

"He fell. He'll be okay but I think he needs that nap now," he finished in a whisper.

One moment Pearl was smiling wanly, the next Jesse was watching her fall to the ground.