Hateful love

I hate the way this feeling hurts,

Not being good enough.

I hate that I can see the faults,

But can't connect the dots.

This is not love, not even close,

Although it's something strange.

It makes me wonder and it shuts

My brain inside a cage.

The cry of it just makes me fright

And I can't bear the thought.

I wanna run and hide and stop

From wandering my heart.

I saw a guy who makes me ask

If some things might be true.

I keep the questions in my mask;

I hope you're asking too.

I've always been fine by myself,

Not needing unknown faces

Which only seemed to drag me down

And search tremendous places.

My lack of words is something new,

I've never been this mute.

I have some words, but just a few,

No chance to tell the truth.