Chapter 3: Decisions are hard

6th February 3020

Luka

She was crazy.

"If you could just provide the bare minimum... I've never felt more lost and I figured you would know something. Just a tiny bit of information."

It was at this moment that I realised I had 2 options, one being beneficial to me and the other... being the truth. Decisions were, are and always have been hard, or maybe it's choices... now I'm just babbling to myself about synonyms to stall.

She was waiting for an answer, now or never! This is my chance, just go for it Luka! Do what you need to! Its the scene in Avengers Endgame when Iron Man has to decide whether to live or save the rest of the universe. The fine line between right and wrong. After all, Love was subjective and we were all products of circumstance.

"Come in and have a seat." Well that should give me a little time (7-16) seconds to be precise. She happily obliged. "So the last 2 years you say? I don't believe it." She looked at me quizzically, I had to come up with a strategic lie giving me an important role in her life during those 2 years. But what?

"Why wouldn't you believe that? Did I often lie?" No, as a matter of fact you never had a long enough conversation with me to lie. "Yes, all the time, it was the reason we broke up." What the hell am I doing?

The look she gave me next was of disgust, I couldn't have been that bad looking. I knew I wasn't.

"I was- I am- I should be married... When did we date? I would never...how?" So I was not Iron Man, nor was I Thanos. I was... A loser. Not the hero nor the villain, just a side character that people would later act like they remembered who was just on the borderline, like... Jane or Harley. The point is... I am a liar.

You're an idiot Luka, an absolute idiot. She had a husband for Christs sake, how could you forget about Daveed? The most horrible man created in history, didn't treat her with an ounce of respect, but I should stop there. My father always told me never to speak ill of the dead. Would telling her that he was dead solve anything? Her sister died too with Daveed in the crash. They were having an affair (big surprise) and on that given day they decided to elope, but wait- it all happened last year. I feel like a kid on Christmas day.

My God, she was completely clueless. Guess I only have 1 choice. "He had an affair with your sister and they skipped town. You were hardly affected by it and later that month your car broke down and you came to me, we started a friendship and dated." Real smooth, Why don't you tell her that her long lost father was found dead and she murdered a bunch of homeless whales while you're at it? Whales font have home- FOCUS LUKA!

She had tears welled up in her eyes at the lies I was telling, she would probably cry more if she knew the truth. So technically, I did a good deed, Well done Luka!

"Did we break up? What happened? Where's my mother?" I can't believe she hadn't broke down yet into a full on tsunami. She still asked questions. She was so strong and bravr, we would have such strong children, beautiful and wise.

"You just left town 4 weeks ago, said to never mention our time together again because you'll -and I quote- 'always remember the memories we shared'. You went to your mothers house to fix things with her, you guys hadn't talked for the whole year because she said you allowed your sister to steal your man. The rest is history." Most of that was true.

The tears had disappeared from her eyes and she looked me dead in the eyes and stood up abruptly. I slightly flinched, but she just said 3 words that would later lead to mysterious things. "Tell me more." Madness... why would she want to know more, how would she handle it? Could she? Was she actually believing the rubbish that I was spoon feeding to her like she was an incapable 3 year old without any ounce of knowledge?

Curse Father for sending me to this God forsaken (literally) place called Earth. Didn't he know what would happen? Surely he had to. You don't just send your children here to 'live as a mortal' now look at me, I'm lying... and even better I'm doing it for a human, How low!... What have I become and how do I stop it? Did the cavemen feel like this during evolution?

Mortals are boring, why did I like this one so much? She's like a little pet. Infuriating but that's just her nature. Sort of like all humans, it was sickening and maddening and dare I say... intriguing? She was like everyone else yet so unique. It was like Shakespeare's Sonnet 130.

As an Angel it's impossible for me to mate with a human without killing them. Would I kill her just to mate with her? No, I need to keep this one, it's been centuries since I've connected with someone, and even longer since I've loved someone. Don't get me wrong, I don't love her but I honestly think it could get there, she says things that i havent heard in all my years of existence. I wanted to know how her mind worked. Maybe I could make a difference in her life, after all, A small man can cast a large shadow at the right time of day.

Also, I know very well what you're thinking. "He's a supernatural being yet he still can't admit love. blah blah blah." You may be right but I've come to the realisation that love destroys. When you start loving someone too much, its easier for them to hurt you, not because they're saying hurtful things but because you're allowing what they're saying to hurt you. So call me dumb or emotionally deprived but I think it's a pretty scientifically changing observation.