Chapter 4: A graceful Exit

15 February 3024

Navaeh

It's been 8 days since I've talked to Luka. He gave me a once over for the past 2 years of my life and I'm not going to lie but surprised is an understatement. It may come as a shock but I've been avoiding him ever since I left that day.

Let's just say, I didn't make a graceful exit. Yes, I did run out of his house crying after calling him an, and I quote, "Self centered, lying bastard!" Not my proudest moment, but hey, If we judged everyone for their worst mistakes, we'd have a very unforgiving society.

So I'm currently here at work, trying to act friendly in front of people who are telling me about things that don't exist in my memory train while grasping on to my sanity. I'm not supposed to be at work but no one else is going to pay my bills.

Working from 8 am to 6 pm, 7 days a week isn't exactly fun. Getting paid with peanut shells is even less fun and dealing with prepubescent adults... a whole new story.

Now, along with all those struggles, comes the struggle of having to trust this man whom I know nothing about, (anymore, that is) and figuring out whether I could trust him or not. I needed to talk to family, but I had none left. The next goal on my vison board is literally just buying a phone.

But until then, do I trust the strange neighbour man? You see, trust is a strange concept, one which no one could understand. I know this because I've seen people trust the ones that hurt them the most even after being warned otherwise a thousand times before.

Trust is a game, one that I'm not ready to lose. I believed everything Luka told me until he mentioned that Daveed and Maveth eloped. I knew it was a lie. Daveed, Maveth and I made an agreement that I would stay married to Daveed and they can keep seeing each other. It was with our families best interests at heart.

I also didn't believe that I'd treat someone with whom I was in a relationship with like that. So how do I know what to believe? There are a lot of easy ways for me to find out the truth, but that's no fun, now is it? I'll play along with his little game. I wanna see how much of untrue information he can feed me before he feels guilt or regret. Maybe he'll tell the truth at some point.

I don't know what game this is exactly, but I won't go down without a fight, and I will, by all means, find out what actually happened, with anyone's blood on my hands.

Luka forgot one tiny detail in all his lies, Benjamin. Daveed and I told everyone about our son, now I have no idea where he is, or how Luka doesn't know about him. Surely this obsessive stalker would know about Benji?

I walked out of work feeling more tense than ever. I didn't remember buying anything that was in my house. All I can think about is Benji. I had him 3 years ago, I feel like I mossed out on 2 years of his life even though I was there. I stayed with my mother the whole pregnancy and left Benji there because I didn't want to bring him into my messed up life so he stayed with my mother for 2 months before she forbade me from visiting him.

I'm sure that explains Lukas lack of knowledge but he should've known. I will find my son, and we will be happy. I've faced enough obstacles until now and this stranger next door, some random boy behind a glass wall isn't going to stand in my way from uncovering my real life.

i can't keep living a lie, living a life that isn't mine. I have murdered for my son and I will do it again.It's a viscuous cycle, you know I won't do it on purpose but it is going to happen, I can assure you that.The world has always been pulling us in different directions

I know you think I'm a monster I probably am. I know I am. Monsters have feelings too, so can you blame a mother for wanting to give her child a hustle and hassle free life. I'll get back my son and my husband and with it, the life I deserve. The life that my baby deserves.

This world is no place for a young woman and her baby. I remember when I used to wish for a way out, until my baby boy came along.

I didn't think to ask for him because I knew he was safe with my mother, but now, I don't know what to believe. I just feel this pendant on my neck and I can fell that my baby is alive. Call it mother's instinct, call it insanity. You can call it whatever but I will torture Luka if he harmed my Benji in any way, and I have experience in torture.

3 days ago, 5 days after talking to Luka, I started planning how I'm going to get the information I need out of him, when the realisation hit, I'm a woman. He's a man. There's one solution for this problem and only one. Make him fall in love with me. I needed a strategy, I can't just wait around while my life falls apart or I woupd inevitably fall with it.

I know damn well I'm not the villain, but everyone has a motive for bad deeds they commit, mine is a mother's love, a wife's revenge, a daughter's unbreakable vow of love for her mother and a sisters sacred tie. But to get rid of Luka, my motive is mainly revenge, I don't know if he has anything to do with my families disappearance but what I do know is: It didn't just mysteriously happen in 2 years, and coincidentally, I lost my memory and he was the one to find me.

Quite a pity, he does seem like a genuine guy. If he is the one who put me in this situation and this condition and hurt my sister, husband, son or mother, believe me when I say I will not hesitate to make him suffer.

It's easy to make a guy fall for you and even easier to fall into a trap, just make them feel dominant and like ypu will adhere to everything they say. Share their mindset and don't ever make them feel like ypu own them or are superior.