IV

For the whole morning, Kris comforted me and helped me in every single bit of my struggle. The bruises and breaks were no joke. I was about to surrender through the pain but the very thing that I hate more was the anesthesia that they have given me. Yes, it may help me lessen the agony but feeling nothing is worse than feeling everything because pain is the only proof that I'm alive. Pain is the thing that I have grown with and if it's in absence, it seems that I'm with the nonliving.

But here's Kris. He never left me alone. And because of these I unconsciously am falling for him more every minute I spent with him. The gentleness in the way he talk, touch and even look at me like I'm a fragile, pure being who needs to be taken care of. Maybe it's just normal for me to fall to someone as gentle and loving as Kris since for the past years I only felt used and all alone in the dark they have locked me into. I'm not used to or I mean I forgot the feeling that someone cared for me. The last people I remembered loving me was my parents who, later in life, caused me more despair than happiness. I love Kris and I hope he feels the same.

'What happened to Mr. Choi?' I asked him while he was peeling an apple for me. He abruptly stopped all his movement and looked me in the eye. It seems that I have taken all air he needs for breathing.

'Why? What happened?' I asked again with my brows knitted in curiosity. I was bothered by how he reacted to my question. He looked around and hurriedly closed the door to avoid anyone from listening. There's something bad happening, I thought.

'H-Hee Yeon, I'm sorry…' he whispered as he made his way beside my bed.

'Kris, what happened?' questions was flooding in my head.  I was more concerned by how Kris is looking at me. He's like he wants to explain this by way of looks because surely words could hurt.

'He-he's dead' that was all he answered.

And there came silence.

And a smile crept on my face. Kris, who was expecting for me to be miserable, was stunned to the attitude I'm showing. I tried to make me feel bad but happiness and freedom domained. It's hard to feel bad on something that only caused pain.  Finally it's the start of our free relationship. No boundaries, no limitations, no more hiding just him. That's what I thought. That after the long run in the dark road, the light finally came out of hiding. But does Kris feels the same?

When we parted, I never got the chance to tell him I love him. Also in his part, he never gave me any assurance that our feelings are mutual. We just left each other hanging, like acquaintances. That after a long trip, we'll part with just simple goodbyes. And now, for 8 years of not seeing each other, it feels like nothing happened. Except that's all hallucinations, Kris now is so successful in his race while me, I'm successful, just in a different competition.

The room was big; it was definitely a huge room with a perfect site of the night light. The French inspired room with a mixture of Korean culture perfectly mixed well. White lights and red walls made the whole aura appealing. And with Kris being beside me as we walked in was just perfect. I'm so excited with the thought of spending precious time together, alone.

Kris moved a chair for me to make a seat. After I thanked him, he walked to the door and gave some instructions to one of the maître d'hôtel.

'You own this place?' I asked him as he sat on a seat in front of me.

'Yes, I do' he said proudly. Well, he deserves it.

'I'm impressed' I said coolly to hide the amazement I have inside of me. The not-so-popular, not-so-smart kid of my block is now one of the riches kid of the country. The Kris Wu I have known is now a grown-up and a prosperous being I have unsuccessfully track through the years.

I stared at him without blinking as I tried to memorize the face I have long been longing for.  The curves in his face grew more mature and the bags under his eyes grew darker. He's stressed. The way he handle the cup and the way he sit also changed, it became more formal and manly. But the way he glances in his sides and his husky voice never changed a bit.

'Do I have something in my fa-'  he awkwardly said ,as he noticed me staring at him, and grabbed a napkin.

'I missed you' I blurted out. I really do.

'I-I missed you too' he said and he looked at me in the eye with a smile.

'I know' I half-heartedly smiled as I heard him answer

 'How?' I asked him.

'Gunshot' He answered without looking at me in the eye.

'Y-you killed him' I hesitated because maybe the answer's obvious enough not to tell. That maybe I would be the one who'd be hurt on his answer. He abruptly shook his head and forced a smile in his lips.

'No. No one did. Bear that in mind' he said monotonously and I believed him.

As we ate, there was awkwardness in the air. It seems to me that Kris wants to ask me something but he hesitates to. He already narrated what his life been 8 years. That it all started when he and his friend graduated college- which I failed to accomplish. Then they became business partners and how successful their business became. Simple calculations. He also announced that he failed to date anyone that makes me relieved. I may not own him and no one can. Yes, for a while of talking to cope up for our absence, it was only Kris's life we are able to talk about. Am I supposed to open up too?

'No, nothing changed' I answered his unheard questions. He himself got puzzled on what I said. I got irritated by the innocent 'i-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' look and laid down my utensils.

'Nothing changed in 8 years' I started 'I'm still what you know I am when you left. I failed to continue college. I failed to regain my reputation, respect and dignity. I failed to change my life style. I'm still the Hee Yeon you have known. I'm still a prostitute you have heard about' I continued that left him speechless. Have I said too much? He is still, by any way, Kris Wu whom I never lied upon. The Kris Wu who knows the whole dark side of my history. But the question is, would he still accept me like what he did before?

'We already controlled everything' he assured his words with a hug.

'J-just don't tell the police anything about last night' and moved his face a few inches away from mine and cupped my face by his hand. 'Promise me'. He said before he pecked a kiss against mine.

'I promise'

When the police came, they have asked me random questions like, when did I last saw Mr. Choi, What he last said to me, Did he had any problems. But I stayed speechless like what Kris told me.

'I'm sorry but it seems that Hee Yeon can't answer any of your questions.' Kris stood up on his chair and gestured a 'go-out-and-let-her-breath'.  But they are cops, they can't be easily be dragged away and so they continued.

'Do you believe that he killed himself or there may be a false play in the case?' still I made no answer and bowed my head for forgiveness.

'Well, I guess you're still in a trauma because of the incident. We'll just report you the updates once it's all settled. Thank you for your time and cooperation' the cop stood up and bowed before he left the room.

Then there came silence.

'They know wrong do they?' I asked him silently with guilt creeping on me and he nodded as an answer.

And then there was a wide smile that sneaked on his face. 'I know'

Suddenly, I felt great tension in my body. He knew? He knew everything about me? Has he been stalking me for the past 8 years?

'H-how?' I managed to ask him even if I'm in shock. But a chuckle was all I heard.

'You're quite popular you know'

That was when I felt that the man in front of me is no longer the man I used to know. And, if that's the case, I'm in love with a complete stranger.

It's hard to forget the feeling that first molded your innocent heart. In my case, I may not be innocent from the start. My body and soul was created to be dirty in the sense of pleasuring of men. My heart was stained by maltreatments, abuses, harms and damages. But just like a dark room, you can still find your way out if there is light. Well, I found my door out of this suffocating life and that was Kris. I thought I'll get back to what I was- happy, satisfied and loved. But when Kris left, the black turns permanent. Prostitution and swindling was the only door I could see to escape this misery and depression. Obsession maybe the word I could perfectly define what I felt to Kris but I tried to hide it all to make everything between us even.

The party was still not over but Kris decided to drive me home, with his black Ferrari, after our private dinner. It was a silent drive home. Awkward silence creeps in the atmosphere but undeniably, I was satisfied to hear Kris's even breathing as he turns the wheel.

'Turn left' I instructed and he complied. Moments later we finally arrived and he turned off the engine.

'Thanks for driving me home' I said but without any intensions of going out the vehicle. I still wanted to stay for a little while. It's like I'm back to being a teenager, wait, I never been a teenager to start with.

'Don't mention it' he replied. Well, this is the end then.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my purse all set of leaving but suddenly, I felt him grabbed my wrist that caused to turn to face him. He was looking at me darkly without any expressions painted in his face. My heart started to pound a little faster because of the way he looked at me.

'It's quite rude not to let visitors in for a drink, don't you think?' he said huskily and smiled broke in his face.

------- Flashback -------

What the cops knew was that Mr, Choi killed himself because of depression. That I, the all innocent Hee Yeon, was only a victim of his emotional breakdown. That I, Hee Yeon, tried to stop him as he tried to pull the trigger of his gun. That I, Hee Yeon, tried to save him. And that I, Hee Yeon, am the martyr in the story. How nice it is to hear that I was Mr. Choi's nice girl. But, well, it was all lies.

'Who paid for the hospital bills?'

'I did' Kris answered.

'You paid it? H-how?' I never intended it to sound so rude but because I was shock in disbelief that Kris paid the expensive bill, it sounded like I was looking down at his capabilities. As I said, Kris is neither rich nor popular. He's salary can only sustain his living and not a thousand worth hospital bill that's not his.

'I found my ways' he answered.

'Don't tell me you robbed a bank? Or fraud a rich guys penmanship? Or wait… don't tell me you sold your soul too?' I joked around but it seems that it's not helping

'Won't you just stop asking questions and just be grateful about it?' he raised his voice. But when he realized what he did, he hurriedly made his way beside my bed and hugged me tight.

'I'm sorry' he whispered 'I didn't mean to shout on you. It's just that, I'm stressed and all' he added.

I have not faced an angry Kris before and it shocked me to hear how scary he could be if his temper got low. I feel that he's a different person in my arms but I tried to sweep that away of my thought.

'No, It's my fault' I said and pulled away to face him. 'You're right. I should be thankful for everything that you have done to me. The sacrifices, care, everything. I'm sorry if I'm an ass sometimes. I'm sorry' and pulled him back to a hug.

For months of investigation, Mr. Choi's case was closed and it was decided that it was indeed a suicide since nothing proves for a false play. Also, there was no witness of the incident that makes the whole case, easy to be deceived. Yes, conscience always came knocking on the door when I think about it. That it was me who triggered his death. That it was me who caused him to grab his gun that killed him. Sometimes I thought that maybe Mr. Choi is still out there planning to continue his ended plot of killing Kris. That his ghost is still seeking for justice of my cheating. But it never scared me, as long as Kris is around.

'Oh, I forgot to tell you' he said and grabbed a pile of paper in the bed side table. 'Hospital papers, they said you need to sign them before you can be released'

'Really? I'm all set for release?' and he nodded and I hurriedly signed all the papers with a smile on my face.

______________

If you don't understand how this is written, just remember that there are two scenes, past and present.

These flashbacks will help you understand the what about of Hee Yeon.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far because I really enjoyed writing it. 

take note on everything that happens on this story because maybe there are senseful parts in the future updates.

enjoy~