V

I have a question for you that I never got the chance to ask:

                Have you, by any chance, made you change any traits of yourself, physically, habitually, or emotionally just because of me? Did you look like you back then?

                Do you think of me in times when you least expect to? Like, when you cook some omelet, or wash the dishes or making love to someone else?

                If I was to leave and not you would you stop me and confess your love?

We're not always being given the chance to meet the person we love twice in one lifetime so if that time comes, grab it while it's still there. For maybe tomorrow or just even in a blink on an eye, he might be gone and by that moment, the only thing you can feel is regret. Grab every opportunity because it's better to say 'at least' rather than 'I could have'.

On reaching my front door, the things that lit up our way were the light posts on my garden, the dim ceiling light on the entrance door and the bright moonlight. After a small cricking sound, we finally managed to get in my mansion. After turning a few switches on, my whole house came to life. Well, at least I have something to be proud of; I thought with the fact that one of the top 10 riches guy in the country is walking behind me. He is observing every detail of my household.

Footsteps were the only sound that echoed throughout the place. And I'm sure Nanny is asleep in her room already so that means we got the whole place alone.

I effortlessly threw my purse and my overcoat on one of the couch leaving me with only the stained gown I have been hiding.

'What do you want? Coffee? Whiskey? Beer?' I asked him as I walked to the bar stand. He was just silently walking behind me with his hands inside his pocket. As I heard no answer of what he wants, I turned around to look at him. There, he took my breath away. Kris, who was just a few steps away, looked at me darkly in the eye.

'Why is that you're not included in the options?' he chuckled.

It's not that I'm not used to guys showing interest towards me. I meet their types like all the time, every day. But as what I said, Kris is different. I have feelings for him and that makes a different approach on my hormones. It's not like every day I fall for someone. I have developed an attitude of being cold. Aside that I'm hot in bed, I can be emotionally abnormal. Even how lovely my partner can be they can never gain any bit of feeling from me. Just like the saying: through years of darkness, it caused you to be blind.

But seeing Kris being flirty turns me on. He makes me nervous like never before as he took a few stepped forward towards me. There was tension inside my body that electrifies my nerves of steel.

He might have noticed my stiffness but still he continued to get near me. He took small steps and every step he takes is an agony for me. I was unconsciously stepping back, I only noticed it when I felt the bar table against my back and a small yelp escaped my mouth. He suddenly grabbed me with his hands on my back for support. There I smelled his expensive perfume rummaging my nostrils with delight. He have successfully pinned me against the table with his hands now in both my sides to lock me in. My breathing started to get uneven especially when he bent down a little to level on my height and whispered on my ear.

'Just like before' he huskily said and pulled away to look at me in the eye.

------ Flashback -------

'What do you want for dinner?' I asked as I seek for something to cook on the refrigerator.

'Anything would do' he answered casually as he tapped some familiar beat on the table.

'We don't have anything to cook' I announced. There was only one piece of apple, three pieces carrots and a bottle of Gatorade on the fridge. Carrot soup might be good but its summer; I don't expect him to eat anything that heats up the body.

'What?'

'Well duh, someone forgot to take the groceries' I turned around to face him with my hands on my waist. Well, I was mocking him since he acted so innocent like he didn't know we ran out of groceries. He was the last one to cook meal that means he knew the fridge is empty.

'Really?' he walked his way to me and covered my body with his arms.

'Really' I replied and placed a small peck on the lips.

'I'll get them first thing tomorrow' he promised. He was about to release me from his hug but I pulled him tighter to offer something… better.

'Well, while we don't have something to eat…' I started 'Can I be an option for your dinner? 'I ended with a seductive whisper in his ears.

'I don't know. It depends on my diet' he joked around.

'Are you a zero calorie meat?' and it gained a laugh from me.

'I could be anything you want' and kissed him deeper.

--------- End of Flashback -------

I tried to open my mouth to utter some words, to break the tension in the air but nothing came out. When I was about to get drowned on the way he looks at me, a laugh was suddenly heard.

'I'm just joking' he said as he held his stomach to contain his laughter causing him to release me from his grip.

'It's not funny, Kris' I said and rolled my eyes.

'Wine would be good' he answered and placed his arms in front of his chest.

'I thought you don't like wines'

'That was before' he beamed.

And there it hit me. I'm still acting like he's still the Kris I knew. Things really did change for him.

------------ Flashback --------

It's almost been a month already since Mr. Choi died. And it has been exactly 8 days since I was released from the hospital. We decided to live in one roof since I have no one to ask for any help. We were happily living together but sometimes, I don't feel like Kris really likes me to stay here. Or maybe I'm just over thinking stuffs, it's because he always go home late, and leave early in the morning. I do understand that he is just a student and also he is working part-time so there is no issue on going home late. I just realized that I'm useless and an additional weight on Kris's burden. But I love him and don't want us to part away, not in my initiative. But when the time comes someone needs to leave, I hope it'll be him who'll say goodbye. Because maybe we are living together, having sex night after night but we have no assurance of forever. I don't own him and he don't own me.

'I'm turning college soon' he said as we lay on my bed.

'So, what are you plans?' I asked. Well, I know his plans already he has been consulting me time after time.

'I need to find a better university' I turned to my side facing my back to his. Tears are warning to fall and I don't want him to see me crying.

'That means you're leaving?' I managed to ask without any cracks on my voice but I heard no answer. Silence means yes.

'I wish you luck then' I silently tears came rolling down my cheeks.

--------------- end of flashback --------

'So, why did you come in the party? I don't remember your name being on the list when we reviewed the guests' Kris asked with his elbows leaning on the table for support.  It's been already 11 minutes past twelve but he still haven't left. And I am silently hoping he won't.

'I got my own reasons and I got my ways' I answered finishing our 3rd bottle of expensive wine.

'You're looking for someone to hook, are you?' he frankly asked. It disappoints me that he thinks so little of me. But I can't blame him, that's what I really do. That was the real reason behind all the play.

'You know me to well' I smiled to cover up.

It suddenly caused me to think, what happened to my plans? Where's the idiot rich guy that I came to have sex? Were the heck is my branch of company? Definitely the answer is clear, I screwed. For the first time in a long time, I failed on something I have long been planning for. But seeing Kris in front of me, smiling, laughing and all made me satisfied. That maybe I have failed to gain something but I have succeeded to have someone important back. Yes, I can't just wipe away the fact that he is rich and single and a guy. That maybe he could be someone I could hook after all. That maybe my plans are not really ruined after all. That he could be a better bet.  But I honestly can't do that. He's not just a normal guy I could flirt with effortlessly; he's not just an old man I could fool for riches. If I was to find someone who can read me in everything I do and my intensions, I would choose Kris. And it would be so hard to hook a man you can't easily fool around.

----------- Start of flashback -------

One night, he decided to treat me on one of the most expensive restaurants in town. He said I can choose whatever I want and never to look at the price. And so I did but with great hesitation on the back of my head.

'How are we supposed to pay all of this?' I asked silently as the food is placed on the table.

'Don't worry, my treat' he assured and tap my cheeks a couple of times. It's not that I'm not used to Kris being fancy and all but I just wonder where he gets his money from. He already fully paid the hospital bills and now, he's treating me to a restaurant I can only look from afar? I don't think the shop he's working part-time can give him big bucks. It's just so unnatural.

After our expensive dinner, we went to a hotel. I don't know why he still wants to do it in a pay-per-hour place instead of our own place. But where already here and I want to pleas him as he pleased me today.

I appreciated every effort he is making for me to make me happy every day. And I guess today is the best day of all…

When we were already inside a room, I did not mind what it looks like or how it smelled, I directly closed the door and pushed him in bed.

'Is it just me or the room just got warmer?' he chuckled.

'I'm sorry. Am I that hot?' I countered.

He hurriedly pulled me in bed with my back against the soft mattress. He then kissed me, crushing himself against me while driving his tongue against mine. He effortlessly pulled off my top and threw it God knows where and continued. He kissed his way down the front of my body. I felt the burning heat on my back and in between my legs as he continued to make lovely marks on my body. My breath came out in a rush when he closed his mouth on my breast. He hurriedly pulled oh his shoes, socks, pants and shirt, tossing them across the room, leaving him with only his boxers. He stood there in front of me watching my eyes grew darker. He perfectly knew that he doesn't need to do anything just to turn me on.

When he brushed his lips on my left rib, I tried to sit up but he stopped me.

'Let me do the pleasure tonight, okay?' he said and all I did was to nod.

I don't know how he became this good in bed. How he learned to kiss this way or who was his first sex. It would be lovely to hear if it was me but he was already good when I first tasted him. I never really tried asking him about the matter but I don't want to end up broken if it wasn't me.

With his heart pounding hard against his chest, he buried himself inside me moving more roughly than normal. His hair was outlined crimson while it was tossed back with pleasure.

It was a long night, a lovely night of course, and we laid side by side in bed. His arms were crossed around my waist as I laid my head against his chest. Staring at him, he's perfect for me. And I hope this will stay like forever. That we would go stable, together.

----------- End of flashback --------

When he left the mansion, it was already 2 in the morning. My first 4 hours with him, again, was tormenting for me. I thought or I was wishing for something to happen because I badly missed him. His kiss, his touch, his hugs, his scent, his voice, his everything. But depressingly, nothing of such happened. He changed. Unlike the past were he can't stand not to kiss me when we are in one room or touch me when we are all alone(or it was me), today was different, we got the whole house alone but he never made the move. When we were talking, I was silently praying that he would grab me by hand and throw me in bed. But it was a totally clean talk, maybe some of the jokes we made are not but all in all, boring.

When the sound of the engine slowly faded away, I directly went to my walk-in closet and dressed up casually. A black dress that reaches just above my knees. Without retouching my worn out makeup, I hurriedly grabbed my keys and rushed out my mansion. I can't just sleep sexually frustrated.

________________________________________

This story might need some investigation. There are points that are blinded by the story. Points that I hope you could answer. Just comment what you think and I would gladly read them one by one. If you got the point right, I would credit you on the upcoming chapters where your guess is correct.

P.S. I'm not really good on writing smuts. The real point of this story is the story itself. But since the theme is quite mature, there should be some 'dirty' parts to justify the whole story.

Welcome to the new readers!