Who is Nora?

Everyone has a secret, whether it's something serious or something simple. But if it becomes a secret, we don't want anyone else to know about it. Although in the end, we all know secrets are impermanent, we have no guarantee that a secret will always be a secret. Because in the end, whether we like it or not, all secrets will be revealed. There are feelings of fear, sadness, shame, disappointment, threat, and many more that we all feel, so we make it a secret. But over time, all the things we hide, all the things we choose to forget, all the things we ignore as authentic, all the things we think are okay will slowly kill us. Because actually nothing is okay in living this life.

Sometimes, people who look so perfect, they are the ones who keep a lot of secrets. It's what makes them look perfect without gaps.

That morning Nora woke up without feeling anything. Empty, without feeling happy or sad. Nora walked over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She was getting thinner because she rarely ate. She sighed then walked to the desk, took all the medicine that was scattered, and hid it under the bed.

After that, she took a shower, leaving all the scars on her body washed with water, letting all the pain run through her body. She closed her eyes and tilted her head upward. She spent several minutes sitting in the shower in silence. Many things on her mind and too many questions she did not have the answers. It was torturous for her.

She took a hoodie in her closet and put it on to hide any traces of the cutting scars that were on her hands. She applied a little makeup to cover her pale face.

After she felt that everything was neatly covered, she walked out of her room to her parents, who were already at the dining table. They always had breakfast together in the morning.

"Why do you look so gloomy?" Asked her mother, Sarah.

"Good morning mom, Dad," Nora said, ignoring Sarah's question.

Sarah shook her head. "What's wrong with you lately?"

"Nothing, just school stuff," Nora lied.

"Yes, exactly. It's just a school thing, so why are you gloomy like this. You're still a teenager, you don't have any serious problems yet. So stop acting like you have a big problem, okay?" said her father, Janson.

"Yeah, you are right. I'm sorry." Nora sighed and chose not to say another word. That was her life at that time. She was an only child who was obliged to act that everything was fine by her parents. It was one of the most challenging things. When she had no reason to smile, but she was required to be happy.

Nora quickly finished her meal because she was fed up with the conversation at the dinner table, which she thought didn't really help her. After that, she got up from the dining table and walked to the garage to get her car.

When she arrived at school, usually she really didn't care about what people were talking about, or what was going viral at school. But that morning, she was baffled as to why one school looked so chaotic as if there was something that literally caught their attention. She then reached into her cell phone and looked at the incoming message. At that moment, she understood what was going on.

Nora shook her head. She knew exactly who the girl behind the photo and who was the person who spread this photo. She then looked for a name on her cellphone and called that person.

"Are you fucking crazy?" demanded Nora.

"What? they deserve it," Jackson replied.

"Yes they deserve it, but Ella? are you lost your mind? She is not the right person for you to blame," said Nora.

"You do not understand."

"No, you are the one who do not understand. Are you proud of what you have done?"

"I did all this for Audrey, okay?!" yelled Jackson.

"Did Audrey tell you to do this to Ella? Does she know you shared this photo? Is she going to thank you for all of this?"

There was no more answer from Jackson after Nora said all that. Nora sighed. "I'm going to report this one. You are so fucked up! I can't just shut up and do nothing this time."

"No, you can't. You never can,'" answered Jackson without hesitate.

"Oh really? You know what, I'm not afraid of you anymore and fuck you, Jackson!"

Nora walked back to her class. What she thought that time was maybe this is one good thing she could fix before she end it all. She had to find Ella.

During break time, she circled the school looking for signs of Ella. When she was giving up of searching, a message arrived on his cell phone.

It was from Ella.

She asked Ella to meet her at the back of the school later, and Ella agreed.

Nora sighed, was she afraid? Of course, yes. But that day, she wouldn't make the same mistake again. Nora looked for a place that was hard for people to see so no one could hear their conversation. And after she told Ella the location, she sat there and waited.

"Hi, Nora," said Ella in a weak voice. Nora saw Ella smile sincerely at her, and at that moment, she wanted to cry. Nora hugged Ella tightly; she knew Ella needed it.

Ella shed tears in Nora's arms. Nora knew Ella was very hurt and fragile. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you first," said Nora in a trembling voice.

"No, it's okay. I understand, I'm very grateful you wanted to talk to me," said Ella and then wiped her tears.

Nora smiled sincerely, "You take it easy, you don't have to do anything. Let me handle this, okay?"

Ella looked very surprised, "What do you mean?"

"I will report this to the authorities, and Jackson will get what he deserves. Before you refuse my help, I do this not only to help you, but I want to do what Jackson has been doing to me all this time," explained Nora.

Ella still looks very confused, "But I don't get it. What are you going to do it and what is your relationship with Jackson?"

"I will say that the person behind the photo is me, so you don't need to get involved," said Nora after a few moments of silence. Ella turned to Nora; she was shocked. "What? No! I won't let you do that just because of me."

Nora lowered her head and smiled faintly. Her tears started to fell, "Do you remember about a year ago, in front of the hospital there was a girl who was crying and screaming in the middle of the night?"

Ella tried to remember the incident, and she nodded her head. At that time, she was being treated for an illness. "Yes, I think I remember that."

"That girl was me, I'm sure you don't remember me. But I will never forget the people who played important roles in my life, El. And without you knowing it, you saved me that day. You saved me once and I am very grateful of that. That's why in the toilet yesterday when I realized you were standing next to me, I didn't hesitate to tell the secret about that camera, "said Nora smiling with tears falling down her cheeks.

"I really remember that night, I lost my boyfriend in a car accident with me. It really hurt my heart and I really feel unfair even now. Why only him, why do I have to stay alive? And I decided to end my life that night, "said Nora then wiped her tears that kept falling.

Nora sighed and started talking again, "When everyone ignored me, you came over to me and sat beside me giving hot chocolate. You said it would make me feeling better," Nora chuckled and wiped her tears again.

"You just quietly accompanied me and sat beside me holding my hand. You didn't ask anything. After I finished crying, you smiled at me and hugged me. You said that I am a fighter and everything will be okay soon. You said that one day, There will be people who thank you for surviving in this world, so don't give up now, "continued Nora.

"That's the reason why I want to help you, because I owe you a lot. You have given me hope. You need me right now and I won't be silent."

Ella closed her mouth, not expecting it. Ella couldn't hold back her tears as she hugged Nora. "Thank you for telling me this and thank you for holding out until now."

"Nathan, he was my boyfriend. Everyone loved him because he was so kind to everyone. Nathan and I were drunk that night. And I was going to take a video of us having fun along the road, I thought that it would be a very funny and fun moment. And at that moment I realized that he cheated on me. He said my name wrongly and he admitted that he was cheating on me. the situation at that time was very uncontrolled, I was very angry and could not hold my emotions, I beat him non-stop even though I knew he was trying to focus on driving because he was drunk too," Nora paused to take a deep breath. Remembering all that is very painful.

"Then he was also yelled at me and tried to explain everything but I didn't want to hear it. When we argued, we didn't realize that we had crossed the road boundary and were about to hit the car in front of us. Nathan at that time had no time to swerve and just like that, it's all over," Nora stopped talking, she sobbed.

"Everything is recorded on my cell phone, and I watch the video every night."

Ella also couldn't hold back her tears; she couldn't imagine what Nora had been through all this time. Ella grabbed Nora's hand to give her strength.

"He died because of me. Every night I watched a video of me killing him. It really kills me little by little."

"No, Nora. It's not your fault, okay? It was an accident. Stop blaming-"

"No, El. I killed him. It is my fault. If only I could hold back my emotions that night, he would still here today," Nora interrupted.

"And that night I met Jackson. He was right behind my car. He helped us but I forgot that my cellphone was still recording every second of the incident. Jackson found my cellphone and sent the video to his cellphone. So from that day on he was like control me, "continued Nora.

"What happens if Jackson finds out about this?" asked Ella.

"Don't worry, I said I will handle this," Nora replied, not wanting to make Ella worry about her.

Without Ella knowing, there were other plans that Nora didn't tell her. The plane would change things to a more complicated one. Just a matter of time, Ella will find out about it soon, and it will be too late.

"I'm sorry, El. But I have to do this," Nora said that to herself, she had no other choice.