Is it the end?

Nora went into her room, locked the door, and sat on her bed. It was raining heavily out there. Lightning occasionally struck and made a loud sound. Everything seemed silent, but from time to time, a deafening noise was heard. Nora hit herself on the head and covered her face with her palms. She closed her mouth to endure the scream that she could no longer hold back. She cried non-stop. Why is it that when she wants to do the right thing, the universe doesn't allow her? She was about to report Ella's case, but she got nothing.

And to make matters worse, Jackson knew her plan. When she came home from school, she was threatened by that guy.

"What the fuck are you thinking?!" yelled Jackson in front of her face.

"I said i'm not afraid of you anymore, you will get what you deserve," answered Nora.

"You do not know what you are doing. Don't tempt me to do things you don't want to. We both know you will not want everyone see that video."

"I know exactly what i'm doing. You don't have a control of my life, just do whatever you want Jackson. I don't give a fuck of you anymore, okay." After that, she left Jackson without listening to any words from him.

She thought everything would go well, but it didn't.

Nora picked up her phone and called some friends. After minutes of trying, no one answered. She tried to send a message to a group of friends in the end.

(Nora) Hi, guys... I'm not feeling well lately.

Nora took a deep breath and tried to eliminate all the negative thoughts that kept coming to her. She returned to check her cellphone, and it turned out that there was a reply there.

(Alexa) lmao, same dude. Anyway, anyone wants to go out?

(Jesica) yeah, me too. I think we all feel sad lately. Just don't take it very seriously. You'll be fine.

(Kate) no need to be sad. It's just a waste of time. Anyway, I'll go with you, Alexa. Where are we going tonight?

(Nora) yeah, you right. I'm okay. I think I'm just overreacting.

Nora closed her cell phone and sighed. She wiped her tears and thought of what would be the most significant decision she had ever made. She took something that she put under the bed this morning and put it back on the table. She shook her head and tried to ignore the thoughts she thought were terrible. Nora went to take a shower to refresh her thinking. Under the rushing water, her tears faintly fell as well.

After she got out of the bathroom, she went back to check her cellphone. There were lots of notifications there, which made her a little confused. She opened the notification one by one. When she realized what the topic that people talking about, her legs felt so weak. And she just fell, unable to support her weight anymore. Her hands were shaking violently as well as her mouth. Her eyes were burning, and at that very moment, her tears fell again. She looked back at the video, convinced she had not seen the wrong thing. But many times she saw, nothing had changed. Jackson didn't mess around with her. He really did what he said. The video with Nathan was already spread, and many people have watched it. She read the comments one by one, and not a single positive comment. She received a lot of blasphemy that hurt her heart. And what influenced her the most was the word 'Kill yourself.'

Nora sobbed and threw her cellphone against the wall. She tried to close her mouth, she did not want her parents hear her scream. At that time, everything became darker. Nora stood and looked at her reflection in the mirror. "You are nothing, i know you try to make things better, but you just make it worse," said Nora to herself.

She looked at the knife she often used for cutting herself and put it down again. It wouldn't be of any help to her anymore. She was silent for a moment looking at her reflection, nothing she did apart from that for a few seconds. But behind the silence, she thought of all the things she would do. Nora took a deep breath and wiped her tears. She was numb, and by then, she had made up her mind.

Nora walked to take her favorite dress and put on the dress on her body. Nathan gave it. The dress was white and had a halter style. The knick-knacks that decorated the dress made it even more beautiful. It looks straightforward but gorgeous. Nora then sat at her dressing table and applied make-up to her face. She wants to look beautiful that night. Even though her tears kept removing her make-up, she still did it. After she was ready, she left the room and went to her parents' room.

She knocked lightly on the door and took a deep breath, not intending to enter. Nora will not be able to see the faces of her parents. She just stood in front of the door and said, "Mom, Dad, I want to go, is it okay? it might take a long time."

"Okay sweetie, take care of yourself. Have fun."

Nora closed her mouth, holding back her sobs. "Okay mom. I love you, both of you."

"We love you too," answered her dad. Nora walked back to her room. She wasn't going anywhere. Because what she meant is she want to go and never come back.

Nora entered her room and stood at the table. She looked at all the medicines that she had prepared for a long time. That was the perfect time to do it. Before taking those drugs, she wrote something on a piece of paper and put it beside her bed.

After everything felt so perfect after so long, she took some drugs by taking them excessively. She swallowed so much of the drug, and after that, she lay down in her bed.

Nora didn't cry anymore; everything felt so peaceful and perfect. She closed her eyes slowly and smiled faintly. She took a deep breath and tried to sleep. Memories of her life flashed through her mind. Everything was going well, and everything was so beautiful. Nevertheless, like the flash everything she had just disappeared until there was nothing left for her in this world.

time after time, all the pain was gone, and white light came to her. She walked towards the light and looked back one last time. "Thank you for the valuable journal. It's good to live with all of you. See you on the other side."

Nora smiled slightly, her face looked very peaceful even though there were many wounds there. Nora took her last breath, and it was all over. When Nora had chosen to go away forever, her cell phone rang incessantly. Ella called and messaged her so many times to check on her. Ella was late. Everything has already happened. If only she called her more quickly...maybe, just maybe she could save her again.

Five hours later, In the morning, her mom knocked on her door's bedroom.

"Hey Nora, sweetie wake up. It's your birthday! Don't be late to go down, there's a surprise for you," she said without entering Nora's room.

Not getting an answer, the woman knocked on the door again. "Nora? Are you okay?"

She then opened the door and approached Nora. She sighed and shook her head. "Nora wake up, you will be late. c'mon it's your day sweetheart. Happy birthday!!!"

Seeing that Nora was not moving at all, her heart was beating so fast. There was no smile in her face anymore. She closed her mouth and shook Nora's dead body. "Hey Nora, wake up sweetie, hey you just tired right?" she said in a trembling voice.

"No...nooo...," Sarah said. She fell. It felt like a part of her died right then and there.

"JANSONN!! PLEASE HELP," Sarah shouted with all her strength.

She grabbed Nora's cold hand and rubbed Nora's face, which looked very peaceful.

"What? What happened?" asked Janson, who was at the door. He walked over to her and realized the only daughter he had was gone.

"She's dead, Janson. She's dead. It's my fault, there's must be something that we can do. Janson please help our daughter..."

Janson was walloped. His heart was very hurt to see he failed to be a father who always protects his daughter. He came down to hug Sarah, who kept crying screaming. Sarah continues to hug Nora's dead body.

Janson's eyes diverted when he saw the piece of paper that was beside Nora. He grabbed the paper and read the words written there. He could not hold back his sobs anymore. "Sarah, it's from her," said Janson and gave the letter to Sarah.

The letter :

Could you take me to a high place? A better place that will accept me, regardless of how broken I am. A place where I can dance and tell stories. To enjoy every second, which is getting faster and faster. Just give me beautiful white wings to cover all the wounds that have been my burdens on my shoulders.

In the end, nothing is eternal. Eternal is just a regularly coveted hammer phase. Unfortunately, the pain doesn't stop, I've tried a thousand ways, but it keeps coming back to one point. I've come this far and expected all the well. But sorry, I have limited time. Nothing restricts me, but my soul seemed to have flown high.

You know what's tragic? when you decide to stay, but the world seems to whisper you just to go. I didn't take this decision without reason. If you ask why this happened, I can't explain it because everything happened so fast and immovable that it can't be clearly defined.

I've endured this far waiting for my medicine, but it turns out that what I'm going through can't be cured. This all happened because of myself outwardly being able to fix it even to be forgotten. I'm trapped in a cold black box. The box contains a lot of screams and shouts of people who keep reminding me of my mistakes. Mistakes that will not be forgiven.

To my parents, hi mom, hi dad. Sorry to let you two down. Please don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. I really wanted to tell you this, but it seems impossible. Because you guys always ask me to be okay, so I have to pretend. I apologize for having to leave this soon, but this world doesn't accept me anymore, mom dad. Let me go. This is my decision. Maybe this all doesn't feel real to you, but it's okay. I will always be your child, and I am so grateful for everything. Thank you for looking after me for seventeen years. It's all more than I imagined. I always love both of you with all my heart. Hopefully, someday you can smile genuinely when you come to my funeral. I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry.

To all my friends, thank you for all the moments. I know you guys tried to hold me back, but sorry I couldn't do more than this. You are like a light source that always guides me. Without you, I could not do anything. Sorry to leave without saying goodbye, but don't be sad. I will always accompany you in times of joy, even when sorrow. If you are unhappy or don't have anyone to complain about, go to my funeral. I'll listen to you, okay. I'm not going anywhere. You know where to find me. Don't forget to tell me everything, whatever it is. Sorry, I can't keep my promise to succeed and stay together until we get old. My story ends, but not yours. Fight to live, enjoy your time. I don't want to see you standing beside me if it's not your time. I want to see you down there succeed in reaching your dreams. This is not a farewell. We will meet again later. I love you all more than I can say.

This is mainly for Ella, the person who saved my life once. Ella, thank you for saving me then. You have given me life even though in the end I couldn't defend it. Sorry, I left when I promised to fix things. Ella, you should know that I was trying to tell the authorities, but they didn't listen to me and thought that I am accusing someone innocent because I don't have any proof. And I'm sure I can survive when Jackson spreads that video. I thought I'm a fighter. I thought I can get through and accept this all. But in fact, I'm just a weak person who can't accept reality. It all hurts so much, Ella. I can't take it, I can't live forever feeling like this. I don't know you very well, but I know you won't end up like me. You are the real fighter. If one day you think of wanting to end all of this like me, my shadows will continue to hold you. If you have no reason to stay, live for me. I want to see you smiling satisfied in the future. I will continue to take care of you without you knowing. Sorry, Ella, for everything.

And finally, hi whoever read this letter. I'm Nora Clark. it's great to have lived this far. If you read this, it means I'm dead. I just want to convey something that I wish I could tell while I was alive. Remember to check the people around you, because sometimes someone is too neat to hide their sadness. And remember that words can kill a person, but they can also save a person. There is nothing to lose to be a good person in this world, go spread goodness, and you will save many lives. I have tried to be a good person all my life, but I have made one mistake that cannot be forgiven. That's the reason I left. Thank you for all the joy and sorrow.

Love, Nora Clark