Chapter 6

LEVI'S POV

It was a cold night, but I didn't bother myself to wear my jacket. After that tiring day at school, I went to a book store near the University to buy another good book to read for I was really fond of reading.

As I was standing beside the busy road, I put on my earphones and listened to some binaural beats I downloaded on my phone few weeks ago before I decided to get some fresh air in the near park of tall, old Narra trees.

Only few people were there, sitting, or just walking around. I was just standing beside a bench, not too far from the road when I noticed a woman in uniform of the same school looking at the direction of an approaching truck.

It was strange that I kept my eyes on her.

"What is she doing?" I mumbled to myself as my eyes were stucked just looking at her. My heart started to beat irregularly as I watched her getting close to the road.

What the hell.

"The truck is approaching! Why is she not—oh god! N-no!"

I rushed to her direction when I realized what would be she doing that I almost dropped my bag on my way.

My heart was pounding very hard, afraid of what would might happen as I ran as fast as I could before it could be too late.

I wished I could just teleport. Every step she made was making me more nervous as I saw how the truck was fast approaching.

"Miss," I stuttered, desperately gasping for air, as I finally grabbed her hand.

Her eyes widened as she glanced at me, revealing her reddish cheeks and nose and swelling eyes, probably because of crying for too long.

I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw the 10-wheeler truck already passed by the road.

"I'm glad I wasn't late," I smiled at her, but she was still mute, barely sobbing.

Her hands were cold and shaking so as her whole body. I gently pulled her away from the road as I still tried to talk to her.

"Next time, don't get too close on the road, huh? You should walk 3 meters away because it's dangerous here," I said as if I didn't know what she attempted to do earlier.

"I w-want t-to d-die," she whispered.

I know.

It didn't surprise me anymore. It was the first thing that popped in my head the moment I saw her looking at the truck.

We're on the same age and she was an accounting student. I noticed it because of the ID that she was wearing.

I didn't know how to console her, or how to take away her burden. All I knew was I could feel her pain that she almost attempted to kill herself awhile ago.

"You should live," I opposed her. "You shouldn't think about dying, okay?"

"You don't know anything," she stuttered, almost a whisper.

"I know, but you are bigger than your anxiety. Don't do this. Come on, I'll take you home, okay?"

She squeezed my hands as she shook her head several times.

"I just w-want to d-die."

"Listen to me," I said as I lowered to face her.

"I don't have any idea about what's bothering you, what upsets you, or what breaks you, but trust me. Fighting is better than giving up this way."

I rubbed her hands to calm her down, but it wasn't easy. Tears just freely flowed on her cheeks.

I added, "I hope that no matter how heavy you feel right now, you still find that one reason to continually fight. What you are going through is hard, but still, you need to fight and pray that you'll find that strength to keep going, okay?"

She totally broke into tears in front of me which torn my heart a little. Her body was trembling and my mind couldn't guess how much pain was torturing her. Mindlessly, I gave her a tight hug, hoping that it could somehow help her.

"Trust yourself, okay?" I whispered against her ear as I gently caressed her back.

"I know you survived a lot and you'll survive whatever is coming. Life is precious. I want you to live because there are people who are still waiting for you. If you are brave enough to think about killing yourself, then I believe that you have much the courage to live. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not lose to anyone or anything. Do not let them win, okay?"

I stayed with her for a moment until she came back to her senses. I didn't let go of her hand, for I was still afraid and worried about her.

I walked her to the park when she finally calmed herself as I looked for my bag as well. I saw it eventually, not too far from the bench where I was earlier.

"Here, wear this," I said as I offered my jacket to her.

"Are you sure, you're okay now? Do you still want me to send you home?" I asked, but she just shook her head.

"Seoyeona! Seoyeona!" Seoyeon! Seoyeon! a voice in a Korean accent suddenly echoed around.

"Seoyeona!"

Seoyeon was her name. She turned her head to where the voice was coming and there she saw a guy at our age, running towards our direction.

"Seoyeona? Seoyeona, gwaenchanayo? Ya! Eodi gasseossni? Naneun neomu geogjeongsikyeosseoyo!" Seoyeon? Seoyeon, are you okay? Hey! Where did you go? You make me worried! he asked unfaltering to his great concern as he hugged her tight.

"Uljimaseyo. Kaja, o?" Stop crying. Let's go, huh? he said as he cupped her face.

When the guy tilted his head, he glanced at me. I could tell that he was really troubled and worried about the girl, it was written all over his face.

"Geunyeoleul dolbwa jwoseo gomawo. Jeongmal gomawoyo," Thank you for taking care of her. I'm really thankful, he said as he bowed his head.

I bowed my head as a respond.

"Gwaenchanhayo. Eongeubhaji masibsio. Jib-e anjeonhage gasibsio." It's okay. Don't mention it. Go home safe.

Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way

She felt it everyday and I couldn't help her

I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs

Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's losing her mind

She's falling behind

She can't find her place

She's losing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place

"May be she's home now as well," I whispered as I rested my back on the chair when I finally got inside the dorm.

I didn't bother to turn the lights on and just heaved a deep sigh as I remembered what happened earlier.

She had been may be brutally broken or probably dealing with problems that was almost unrecognizable to herself... just felt loss inside.

She was weak, numb, and lonely. She was may be afraid, so she kept it in herself and ended up staying alone in her head... wanting to end her own life.

"Levi, is that you?" Caius asked huskily as I laid down on bed beside him.

"It's me. Just sleep there," I replied.

It was past 11 in the evening the last time I checked before I entered the bedroom. I supposed, Caius was asleep for more than 2 hours because he would always go to bed earlier than me. I later felt him hugging me, breathing heavily.

"Levi... Levi..." he called me.

I tried to look at his face, but he's asleep. He's may be sleep talking again.

"Um?" I answered him anyway.

"I love you," he whispered, "like how I love my mother," he continued.

"I know," I said as I gently tapped his arm.

He was always like this. He would tell me that he loves me like how he loves his mother during his sleep talk, but he would deny it the next day.

I could tell that one example of his "love" he was talking about during his sleep talk was probably like trying to make her mother a sunny-side up egg because he loves her though it was really messed up as he was desperately trying to make one for me.

In the end, he would always fail no matter how many eggs we have on the tray.

"Little punk," I mumbled and smiled before I totally fell asleep.